#1
C4C?


Untitled

It would be nice if you came home.
All more lonely as I roam.
You can't imagine this for so long.
But I think you're wrong...
I think you're wrong.

I'm at the edge of nowhere...
That explains why you're so blind...
The chance is one in a million...
This love is one of a kind...

Surrounded by a cloud of questions.
You wait though you know my intentions.
My greatest need now a shot in the dark.
What in the world will ignite a spark?

I'm at the edge of nowhere...
That explains why you're so blind...
The chance is one in a million...
This love is one of a kind...

It took me all this time... I think I finally get it...
I can relate to you... I'm just a hypocrite...

I don't understand what's holding you back.
Treating you bad is one quality I lack.
You can't imagine this for so long.
But I think you're wrong...
I think you're wrong.

I'm at the edge of nowhere...
That explains why you're so blind...
The chance is one in a million...
This love is one of a kind...

I'm at the edge of nowhere...
That explains why you're so blind...
The chance is one in a million...
This love is one of a kind...

Let me know when you make up your mind...


If you can suggest a title, that would be great.
#2
I don't understand what the chrous has to do with the rest of the song but as a title i suggest Edge of Nowhere
This works for almost any situation....

Quote by PaulyVengeance
Punch it. Punch it until it goes away.
#3
Seeing all of the "..."s reminds me of myself and how I always use to overuse them.
But now, it seems rather annoying and takes some away from the value of your piece.
The rhyming was forced so I reccommend you write a piece without any rhyme what-so-ever. That way you can see how your poetry is when it isn't limited.

I agree though, title should be "The Edge Of Nowhere" or something along those lines..
Promises meant a lot back then.
#4
Oh... the "..." is just there to show that when it's sung, it's dragged out.
#5
I agree with the other posters, The Edge of Nowhere would be a good title for it. I also think that the rhyming comes off very forced and it seems like it limits your lyrics more than it adds anything. Theres places where it seems your on a good train of though and then try to put in a clunky or cliche phrase (like "shot in the dark" or "ignite a spark"). I think you could find better words/phrases that maybe don't rhyme but have similar vowel sounds to keep the flow or else just lose the rhyming all together. As far as the chorus, I think its good but I think it would fit much better if it was "WE'RE at the edge of nowhere, that explains why WE'RE so blind". The song addresses both people so it seems to make sense for the chorus to maybe talk about both together. Just my opinion though.

If you'd crit mine, I'd really appreciate it: https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=894208