#1
Song #6

Anyone tell me any improvements ? Whats wrong with it ? Whats good etc etc.

Crit 4 Crit


edit - just added mp3 version onto my profile
Attachments:
Song #6 guitar version.zip
Last edited by _paradox_ at Jun 28, 2008,
#4
Critting as I read...

First thing that strikes me is that the Tempo is to slow, try speeding it up a bit

Well, the first few bars concerning the rhythm remind me of the Boss fighting music from Final Fantasy 7 :-) very catchy :-) Lead isn't too bad either :-)

When the first keyboard section comes in, I find that the lead section here isn't really necessary, it just doesn't add anything to it, just makes it sound worse in my opinion.

In the Acoustic section, I'm not to keen on the Bass line, sounds just a little to "ploddy" to me. Not keen on the Chromatics either. wasn't keen on the acoustic part either, just didn't really fit in with what the other instruments where doing.

The worst part was the section after this one. It just sounded like a huge mess. I mean, there were to many instruments doing different things, it just sounded really unharmonized O_o. Liked the little keyboard bit though, and the lead bit too though they where pretty cool :-)

Overall, I'd give it a 7/10. You got some really good ideas, but it was put together really poorly. The lack of Harmony between the instruments is what got me most. Not a bad attempt, but needs alot of sorting out, don't try to make it to overly complex :-)

Wanna crit mine?

http://ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=894789
#5
Quote by adaeha

Well, the first few bars concerning the rhythm remind me of the Boss fighting music from Final Fantasy 7 :-) very catchy :-) Lead isn't too bad either :-)

haha Nobou is one of my main influences

Quote by adaeha

When the first keyboard section comes in, I find that the lead section here isn't really necessary, it just doesn't add anything to it, just makes it sound worse in my opinion.

In the Acoustic section, I'm not to keen on the Bass line, sounds just a little to "ploddy" to me. Not keen on the Chromatics either. wasn't keen on the acoustic part either, just didn't really fit in with what the other instruments where doing.

The worst part was the section after this one. It just sounded like a huge mess. I mean, there were to many instruments doing different things, it just sounded really unharmonized O_o. Liked the little keyboard bit though, and the lead bit too though they where pretty cool :-)

Overall, I'd give it a 7/10. You got some really good ideas, but it was put together really poorly. The lack of Harmony between the instruments is what got me most. Not a bad attempt, but needs alot of sorting out, don't try to make it to overly complex :-)

Wanna crit mine?

http://ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=894789


thanks, you went quite indepth there
I see what you mean about the messy part with too many things going on, this is unfinished so I'l be sure to fix that. And im still reading over your post.
il check yours now, thanks
#6
I agree that the tempo is way too slow. makes it seem like it's dragging on.

other than that, I really like your leads and especially your keyboard lines. really happy and upbeat. I noticed that your transitions between parts were kinda abrupt. you should clean those up a bit.

what's the acoustic guitar for? did you edit this since the last guy critted it?

but cool song. works together nicely among the instruments. keep working it though. it has a lot of potential IMO.

could you crit the top song in my sig?
...Nothing you've ever...
...Planned on ever turned out...
...The way you planned...


...You're still disappointing them...
#9
Last note in measure 10 of the lead guitar, dissonant with the rhythm. Hated rhythm guitar from 14-21, just made it sound bad. Really liked the solo bit from 24-29 for some reason. 39 is unexpected, probably need to find some better way to transition it. I didn't like that part until I heard the variation on it at 42, that was cool. It also seems like bass is somewhat dissonant at that part. 48-55 is cool, but I hate the dive there. Overall pretty good song, good job. I definitely said alot more negative things than positive, but everything I didn't talk about I liked. You mainly should just open up the GP fretboard and make sure that your harmonies are the same notes or power chord harmonies.

Good job, if you wanna C4C the only one I think you would like is Bubble Toad, it's pretty different from my other works.
#10
Ok, I've Critted everyones so far.

And I've finished editing the song for now.

Any other suggestions etc.