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I'll show you [Insert the last insulting thing the insulter said here]

EX:I'll show you a big piece of meat!
How appropriate. You fight like a cow.....

Quote by gangsta_rick

Finally a sig which shows another member praising me.

My work here is done
whenever someone says a your mom joke, i always respond with "ill tell her you said that, shell be thrilled." because just about all my friends know my mom. this worked until someone finally came back with "yeah thank her for last night for me when you do."
Shut it before I give you aids.
"Punk is a state of mind, and no one can take that away from you."
i just say ur face at the end of my sentences for insults./ it is very lame i no

... I say it everytime someone starts on me after everything they say.
'You wanna smack!?'
'..Yur Face!'.

You know how I know you're gay? You're c*ck tastes like sh*t.


Go Leafs Go!!

Next season anyway
Blow them a kiss and say "love you too babe!" in a really high pitched gayish voice. (and if your a girl just say it regularly)
if you want my comeback. . . . . .your gona have to scrape it off your mothers face. . . . . . .

burn :P
Quote by AvengedThrice
Best thread name EVER.

Just attack 'em with some pliers dude.

about me XD

Quote by Jack Off Jill

I wish I was gay.
Quote by jaz91
How appropriate. You fight like a cow.....

What he said.
"you better watch wat u say or ill c0ck slap u so hard ull wake up a month later thinking i hit u with a sledge hammer"
"ill pop u in the chops if u dont shut up, then ill popped ur mom in the chops...........with my dick."
"fine u dont wanna do my home work? well then ill beat u up, then ill beat ur dad up and make HIM do my homework"

idk how many of these u'll use or think r any good but they have come up between me and my freinds just joking around and were funny then
"So's your face"
"Says you"
"Aaaaarrgh! Once again, I lie mortally wounded, skewered by your rapier wit"<- a useful one if anyone uses either of my previous comebacks on you.
Quote by MightyAl

"Aaaaarrgh! Once again, I lie mortally wounded, skewered by your rapier wit"<- a useful one if anyone uses either of my previous comebacks on you.

lol thats awsome
I would do this instead of using a come back:

Me: you seem to have offended me
person: yea, you dick
Me: well how about we work through our problem's, perhaps come up with some diagram of issues and find the core issues here
person: urhm
Me: let me explain, you see, you have some low leve tension, i may even suggest hate toward's me, usually stemming from jealousy, now if we can get down to the core problem and work out why you have these negative feeling's towards me, and also toward's yourself since jealousy of another person often stem's from low self esteem of one's self
person: your mum's a *****
Me: now you see, that would suggest to me that as a child your up bringing was some what uneasy or perhaps unpleasent, hence the refrence about my mum.
person: ....

I mean, it's as easy as that to be honest, epic win!
Quote by Twisted Magnum
Post some good, all-purpose comebacks for insults. I'm looking for good random ones.


You're kind of removing the predicate of 'snappy comebacks' by asking us to tell you some so that you can recite them.
Quote by Pookie6
Yngwi3, You win this whole monstrosity of a thread.

Quote by uk.mace
For the best tingle, use Original Source mint. That shit feels amazing on your balls.

Godfather of The Diezel Mafia
I say:

"Wow I'm refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view... no really I am .. no really...I really am"

If they push it further then I ususally say:

" Your punishment is to be you for the rest of you very short life"

If they push it further I usually punch then in the throat, hard enough that they rebound from teh wall
Quote by Baldorr
lol thats awsome

e-cookie to anyone who can name the show I stole it from.
"Did you get bullied at school or something?"

Avoid these "smart" wordy comebacks, anything thats too long and wordy will just get cut up or mocked if you're not saying it with enough confidence.
whats got your pussy hairs in a knot
Witnessed "The Glow" 07/13/08
Quote by jaz91
How appropriate. You fight like a cow.....


I've spoken with apes more polite then you.
Every word you say to me is stupid.
I once owned a dog that was smarter then you.

Now I know what filth and stupidity really are.

Ha, there are no clever moves that can help you now!!

That's one with eight zero's after it, you mothefuckin' piece o' shit.

One times ten to the motherfuckin' eighth power.

That many sperm, and YOU were the quickest.

You fight like a 4th generation pokemon. Yeah, I went there.
Quote by VoodooChild15
I used to take my penis out and touch stuff with it when no one was looking.

Quote by teensean
THANK YOU!!! i love you Snyde_Platypus!!!

I explained "lulz" =D
On UG, when I'm loosing an argument, I throw this at em':

Always wins.
Black then white are all I see,
in my infancy, red and yellow then came to be.
I'm getting sick and tired of listening to your shit. You keep pushing me day in and day out, and eventually you'll push me past the point of no return. I don't give a fuck who you are or where you live, you can count on me to be there to bring your fucking life to a hellish end. I'll put you in so much fucking pain that it'll make jesus being nailed to a cross in the desert look like a fucking back massage on a tropical island.I don't give a fuck how tough you are, how well you can fight, or how many fucking guns you own to protect yourself. I'll fucking show up at your house when you aren't at home. I'll turn all the lights on in your house, leave all the water running, open your fridge door and not close it, and turn your gas stove burners on and let them waste gas. I'll turn your air conditioning on high and open all the windows. I'll turn your cable box on and order 20 pay per view channels at once, and I'll pick up your phone and dial a pay-per-minute sex line in Japan. I'm going to run your utility bills up so fucking high that you can't pay them. You're going to start stressing the fuck out, your blood pressure will triple, and you'll have a fucking heart attack. You'll go to the hospital for heart operation, and the last thing you'll see when you're being put under in the operating room is me hovering above you, dressed up like a doctor. When you wake up after the operation, you'll be scared for your fucking life, wondering what I did to you while you were being operated on, wondering what ticking time bomb is in your chest waiting to go off. You'll recover fully from your heart surgery. And when you walk out the front door of that hospital to go home, I'll run you over with my fucking car out of nowhere and kill you.I just want you to know how easily I could fucking destroy your pathetic excuse of a life, but how I'd rather go to a great fucking length to make sure your last remaining days are spent in a living, breathing fucking hell. It's too fucking late to save yourself, but don't bother committing suicide either...I'll fucking resuscitate you and kill you again myself you bitchfaced faggot. Welcome to hell, population: you.

That usually does the trick.

Face man
Suck it
you Fat headed racist
Bono: "Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies."

Audience member: "Well, f*cking stop it then!"
Quote by MightyAl
"So's your face"
"Says you"
"Aaaaarrgh! Once again, I lie mortally wounded, skewered by your rapier wit"<- a useful one if anyone uses either of my previous comebacks on you.

M*A*S*H, right?
In all seriousness...Depending on who it is...I WILL SAY!...lolwut?

If someones picking a fight with me...which means its just this one kid...I knock his head about with my left hand
Quote by I.O.T.M
Taking the piss out of Americans is like bullying retards, it's unashamedly one-sided but extremely gratifying.
Quote by Witch-king
Brick wall of text and hatred

They may have died just waiting for you to finish your comeback

"I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how cool you aren't."

EDIT: Touché, buddy
Last edited by charvel_man at Jun 26, 2008,
Quote by charvel_man
They may have died just waiting for you to finish your comeback

Gotta talk fast son!

if its a guy and he swears at you say "do you kiss your boyfriend with that mouth?"
if its a girl say "who let you out of the kitchen"
Emerse your soul in love

You used to be alright What happened?

Yellow tigers crouched in jungles in her Dark Eyes .
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