#1
Meh, it'll give me something to do today. Here we go.

**************

You finally muster up enough courage to do it. Opening your car door you take a nice long look at it. Old Joe's Pub. It was time to pick up a chick or two. It had been far too long since you were last laid.

The door swings open, a man wearing a top hat and a trench coat walks out from the bar. He smiles at you and winks before walking away. What a weirdo... You think.

You pull out your wallet mirror and examine your face. Your face was clean and shaven, and your haircut still looked excellent. Alright here you go!

You enter the bar and look around, its very packed. There appears to be no opening spots at the bar. You do see one open table, but it appears that someone has spilled their beer all over it. Dammit, I knew I should've come earlier...maybe I should go home... You think.

What'll it be?

*****************

a) Go home.
b) Take the open table
c) Go shove someone from their bar seat and take it for yourself
d) Stand on the open table and start singing some Pearl Jam tunes
e) Go ask for a job as a bartender
f) Go to the bathroom and fap, it doesn't look like you're getting any tonight
#2
lol
The good times are killing me.


Quote by UG TinyChat
meelad: I know this guy "entity0009" and "mike50227"
meelad: They're the best people there




Above Divine
#3
F!!!
Hull City A.F.C

Quote by Thrashtastic15
crunkym toy diuckl;ess ass ****igkjn ****** **** bitch ass pussy ****er douchecanoe ****** **** you s omn cnt you lieet le biutch
#6
B.
D F O I N N T D
T W H O I R S D
Y O O R U
W S I U L C L K
A M S Y S

Quote by ScreamAim&Fire


Beautiful.
XxLloydxX for president!
Even though I'm english..

Want to hear Super Mario Bros Theme on electric rock guitar? SuperMarioBro
BuyMYMusic
SellMusic
#9
D.
▼▲
Quote by shdowfox17
awesome avatar,denn0069!
Quote by Valo
The most truth I've heard in the pit.
ever.
▼▲
#10
B!
Quote by PaperStSoapCo
Vagina's tend to be not all that great looking most of the time. It's all... flappy. Looks sloppy.

I'd have to say guy junk wins but not by much. It's like winning a beauty contest against Steve Buscemi.
#11
B wins

*****************

You shrug and go take the empty table. As you sit down you look around for something to wipe the beer off with, but find nothing. You sigh as you sit quietly at your table, alone without a date.

Soon a waitress who appears to be around 22 years of age walks towards you. Her tits capture your eyes, but you try not to embarrass your self. She's definetly doable, you tell yourself.

"Hello, can I get you something to drink?" She asks

***********

a) "Uhh...."
b) "TAKE IT OFF!"
c) "Yeah I'll take a Budweiser."
d) "Glass of Red Wine please."
e) "No."
f) "You got any vodka?"
g) "Depends. What's the price?"
h) "How about I buy you a drink too?"
i) *get up and leave*
#12
B!!
May the Schwartz be with us! 2012



MAL


Q: OK, so do you care about the labels — nastiest, edgiest team in the NFL?

Jim Schwartz: It's better than the alternative — meekest, least aggressive, softest team in the NFL.


#13
B! Cause I'm really bored....
Quote by PaperStSoapCo
Vagina's tend to be not all that great looking most of the time. It's all... flappy. Looks sloppy.

I'd have to say guy junk wins but not by much. It's like winning a beauty contest against Steve Buscemi.
#15
B wins

********

You feel a bulge in your pants get bigger. Meh, why not? You ask yourself as you open your mouth and scream.

"TAKE IT OFF!"

Your hands move up to her shirt and you start grinning. She slaps your hands away and starts to walk away.

***********

a) After her!
b) Sit back down.
c) Leave.
#16
D)Rape

I pick a.
May the Schwartz be with us! 2012



MAL


Q: OK, so do you care about the labels — nastiest, edgiest team in the NFL?

Jim Schwartz: It's better than the alternative — meekest, least aggressive, softest team in the NFL.


#17
A wins

************

You get from your table and start following her, you weren't gonna let someone like this get away. You watch her ass move with your eyes as you follow her. She turns around and sees that you are indeed following her with the same sleazy grin on your face. She takes a right turn and heads for the woman's bathroom, knowing full well that you aren't allowed in there.

*********

a) Go in there anyways
b) Return to your seat
c) Go to the men's room and take a manly piss
d) Go to the men's room and fap
e) Go report her for bad service
#21
A.
May the Schwartz be with us! 2012



MAL


Q: OK, so do you care about the labels — nastiest, edgiest team in the NFL?

Jim Schwartz: It's better than the alternative — meekest, least aggressive, softest team in the NFL.


#22
A wins...you guys are so predictable

*************

You shrug and continue following her towards the bathrooms. You push the door open and walk in just as she does. No one else appears to be present in the bathroom.

"AIEYYEE!" She screams as you close in on her.

You sniffle, "aww, c'mon. I'm just a guy, y'know?"

She waves her hand in front of her, trying to keep you away. The bulge in your pants grows larger, "what do you want with me?" She asks.

You wink at her, "what do you think?"

She shakes her head and screams again.

***************

a) "What if I pay you?"
b) *cover her mouth so she can't scream*
c) Go undress her yourself
d) leave the bathroom and go back to your table
e) leave the bathroom and go home
f) Fap.
g) force her to kiss you while you feel her up
h) Beg her for a blow job.

#23
b or c i can't decide

b so she won't scream when you undress her yoruself
May the Schwartz be with us! 2012



MAL


Q: OK, so do you care about the labels — nastiest, edgiest team in the NFL?

Jim Schwartz: It's better than the alternative — meekest, least aggressive, softest team in the NFL.


#26
B.
The good times are killing me.


Quote by UG TinyChat
meelad: I know this guy "entity0009" and "mike50227"
meelad: They're the best people there




Above Divine
#27
H, desperation ftw lol...bring on the tears maybe?
Quote by PaperStSoapCo
Vagina's tend to be not all that great looking most of the time. It's all... flappy. Looks sloppy.

I'd have to say guy junk wins but not by much. It's like winning a beauty contest against Steve Buscemi.
#28
H
D F O I N N T D
T W H O I R S D
Y O O R U
W S I U L C L K
A M S Y S

Quote by ScreamAim&Fire


Beautiful.
XxLloydxX for president!
Even though I'm english..

Want to hear Super Mario Bros Theme on electric rock guitar? SuperMarioBro
BuyMYMusic
SellMusic
#31
B B B B B B
Epiphone: Les paul Custom SB
Line Six Spider III 15
70$ wal-mart brand acoustic

Quote by black amendment
You're awesome, dude.
#32
B!
Quote by VoodooChild15
I used to take my penis out and touch stuff with it when no one was looking.


Quote by teensean
THANK YOU!!! i love you Snyde_Platypus!!!


I explained "lulz" =D