#1
Seems my lack of will is growing arms to throw me down
My subconcious is the only part of me that's not burnt out
Funny how I never tried to get myself figured out, until now

Pass another down so I can spill my guts tonight
Every slurred word holds the truth I lack the nerve to say outright

I'm not ashamed to admit I wouldn't tell you this any other time, lucky you

Tomorrow morning will reign supreme
in the art of tossing me on my knees
Over and out with nothing to explain
I'm so sorry I-
It could have went so many better ways
now in my head all I hear are screams
Over and out with no words to save
I'm so sorry I, I'm so sorry

Well I've learned to adapt to the changes and sustain them
but in a poor way, nobody should imitate this
Cause when the curtains close I'm still wide-eyed, and shaking

Tomorrow morning will reign supreme
in the art of tossing me on my knees
Over and out with nothing to explain
I'm so sorry I, I'm so sorry
It could have went so many better ways
now in my head all I hear are screams
Over and out with no words to save
I'm so sorry I, I'm so sorry

Take me home before I forget who you are
Tuck me in tight so I don't fall off
Kiss me goodnight but stay til the morning
I can't stand being alone when I'm like this.
Last edited by monkeyguitar78 at Jun 30, 2008,
#2
First half of the first verse is good. Second half of it was okay. When your flow was good, everything worked. Chorus was well put together, but wasn't particularly strong. The sorry's were kinda weak. My favorite part of the song was the first line. C4C if you want, but you don't have too. It wasn't a great crit of mine.
#3
Thanks for reading. I made some edits, they're in the italics. I'll work on the chorus possibly. I know it's not the strongest lyric, very basic, but it fits the song so well it's difficult to placce something else there. But I'll mess with it.

I'll check yours now.