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#1
I think I am going to call the song "What Not To Do When Someone Dies"

It starts out with the initial panic. Then it gets sort of angry and upbeat. Then confusing and evil sounding, then there is a bunch of clean bits, then some happy realization parts, then more panicky angry parts. And it ends in a slur of riffs.

This a continuation of "Maybe epic. I honestly don't know what it is." Which I posted about last week or last month, I can't remember. Anyways, enjoy.

C4C btw.

I fixed it up and finished the bass. Thanks for the crits so far btw.

edit: I added a midi in here for those of you who don't have GP.
Attachments:
blah.zip
blahmidi.zip
Last edited by dervishguitar at Jul 1, 2008,
#2
This song is just epicly awesome. Some parts reminded me of Meshuggah, alot reminded me of BTBAM, and some of Opeth even. I can't really go into detail because this song is longer than like anything that exists. 444 is very strange. Definitely BTBAM influence around there. You also have some magical music theory which belongs only to various Gods and the like, because... just yeah. Everything flows great. This song is great, and I really hope you go on to be in a famous band some day, with you as like the main contributor, because your band would be cooler than every other band. If at all possible, record this ****. Also, nice bass. Sweep picking is slightly overused, but it is always used so well. Love the solo at 590... or maybe it's a riff, not sure. But it sounds great. Also I just noticed that your tempo changed sometime during the song, I never noticed while listening. 632 kind of reminds me of something BTBAM would do. 653 is something they would definitely do, some kind of WTF moments there. Nice classic hair metal ending (Not that this is hair metal lol)

10/10
#3
That was ****ing amazing!! Seriously worthy of Dream Theater. You are god. Thank you for giving that to the world. HAIL!
I was bad with usernames at age 12. Ah woe.
#9
Interesting. 177 really reminded me of Protest The Hero. You don't have to crit anything by me, I just wanted to tell you that.
#10
Quote by Led_Zeppelin992
Interesting. 177 really reminded me of Protest The Hero. You don't have to crit anything by me, I just wanted to tell you that.


Which song? It was just what I thought was a standard major progression and I threw in some D/F#s and C sus 2 chords.
#11
All I can say is WOW! Just WOW! You are the kind of musical genius I've been dying to hear! Don't even bother to crit my **** I look like a noob compared to your stuff! Keep up the awesome work! 10/10
#13
Here we gooooooo:

I didn't really like the scale at the beggining, for some reason, it was just too fast for me.

I really did like the chuggin afterwards tough, and chugging is something that I usually don't like.

Cool keyboard solo there. I also like te bass breakdown. Very cool.

73, is effing SWEET man. Great switch to 3/4.

96 is very BTBAM. 105 sounds a LOT like the end of Decade of Statues (BTBAM song), but I'm sure you didn't intend that.

I love the riff at 117.

Well, the tambourine at 15 just sounds WAY out of place. Maybe it's just the midi that makes it sound bad, but I don't think it's presence was very welcome.

Nice bass solo at 157.

I LOVE THE CHANGE TO MAJOR. That is absolutely one of my favorite things to hear in music like this. The piano is sex. So is the solo guitar. I think you could turn the rythm guitar down though..... a lot.

Great effect on the piano..... I think I actually critted this whole first section of the song before lol, but whatevs.

Not sure if I like the upward dives part part, but it's probrably just cause it's midi.

Good riff at 260.... but it sounds a LOT like Dream Theater.

Riff at 279 is WAY better, and it doesn' even sound that much like DM lol.

Drums a 291 sound kind of off.

I really like the clean verse. Especially when the distorted guitar comes in with the let rings. That's just cool.

OMG.... 327 is just sex.

Halfway there lol.

PLEASE make that chord fade out at 380.

The bass at 388 sounds kind of awkward to me.

398....... wow....... just wow.....

406....... *drools*

Your song is makng me pleasantly aroused......

lol.... not sure if I like the next section until about 445. That's neat.

And just like that...... it's minor..... cool.

Nice chugs aftewards as well.

I love the bass at 535.... actually I just love 535 in general. But good lord son, turn that damn rythm guitar down! I'm going deaf here!

You should change the keyboard for the arpeggios to a Saw... in my opinion at least.... the square sounds really cheesy.

Wow... 607 is way sweet.

623 was like having Jessica alba standing in front of me.... naked.

I really like how you resolved to the older riffs a 652. It was like a recap of the whole song lol.

That was really short..... I think you should make it longer.

Not really....... I will give this masterpiece of maginifence a 9.9/10 because sometimes the rythm guitar was really loud, and because I now have to change my pants. Goodday, sir.
I'm a person.
Last edited by PinkIsCool at Jul 1, 2008,
#14
This is why you're my favourite UGer. Thank you very much. I owe you a couple. And the loudness of the rhythm guitar will probably get fixed when it's recorded. It also might just be the midi. GP5 does wonders. You should get it.
#15
You make me feel like I should give up making music.

That was just incredible. I personally admire you now.

edit: I WANT to hear this recorded. Man I can't wait!
#16
I honestly don't know what to say. The style isn't really my cup of tea but god damn that was great. 20 minutes of super-prog epicness incarnate, and it rarely got boring. That in itself is quite an accomplishment. There's really nothing I would change except when the distortion guitars transition to the clean/acoustics, as they don't ever really fade out and make it seem choppy as a result. Besides that, though, the musicianship from all instruments is spectacular, there's a heap load of sweet riffs (and props to you on the solos - you have a wide array of styles and for that I commend you), and above all, it was coherent and solid.

Incredible work, this is easily one of the best and most adventuresome pieces I've seen on here for quite some time.





It may not have been much of a crit, but if you could check out this, that'd be great:
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=813365
#17
WoW

thats really musical genius there
sounds very dream theatre/sikth (th bass part :P) like
i would jus say vary the drum part a bit more

well done dude
#18
I'm gonna just give a short little review here:
There are just some amazing parts in the song and some weird parts in the song. I see you've got a wide range of musical style that I really hope you stick with. It's great having heavy metal scary riffage and tearing solos in major and blues monsters in the same song. I'm not really huge into prog, so I feel the song is WAY too long, but hey, it's got a huge variety and it all blends together nicely. So kudos to you, your song wins!
Another note- some of the pauses are just way too long
#19
It's just a guitar pro. That's why I didn't fade out most of the chords before the clean bits since a) they already do with RSE and b) I know I will when it gets recorded.
#22
its pretty damn sweet, the only problem is that i really don't think that humans can play, which, is a good and bad thing, its too epic for humans to play, but it can also never really be played live...
#23
Dude, ****ing amazing. The fact that I listened to the whole thing says everything that needs to be said.
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#24
Theres some really amazing parts of the song, sounds very DT, but others tend to lag on and drift off from the true 'self' that the song has imo. Damn good but if you clean it up and get rid of some of those random tangents that the song throws in there its gona be even better. Keep writin!
#25
Quote by M-String
its pretty damn sweet, the only problem is that i really don't think that humans can play, which, is a good and bad thing, its too epic for humans to play, but it can also never really be played live...


That's not true. I can play every single guitar part and bass part. Except that I know at least three of the drum beats are unplayable or are at least "too complicated to bother learning unless you dedicate your life to it" beats. I don't even know a keyboardist around here well enough to ask them to see if they can give their opinions. And I definitely don't plan on this ever being performed live. It would just sound like crap unless form some super-group.
#26
Quote by dervishguitar
This is why you're my favourite UGer. Thank you very much. I owe you a couple. And the loudness of the rhythm guitar will probably get fixed when it's recorded. It also might just be the midi. GP5 does wonders. You should get it.

I already own GP5 lol I just always forget aout the RSE, because so many people, including me, don't use it.

I'm going throught the song now on RSE and it sounds loads better, I don'tknow why I don't usetis lol.
I'm a person.
#27
you named the file "blah"?????????????


are you kidding me ?!?!?!?!?!


that is all


...Nothing you've ever...
...Planned on ever turned out...
...The way you planned...


...You're still disappointing them...
#28
Quote by Its_Rock77
you named the file "blah"?????????????


are you kidding me ?!?!?!?!?!


that is all




The riffs at the beginning were just supposed to be a joke but everything just stemmed out and one thing lead to another and then this happened. Thatès usually how my good songs begin as. Jokes. :P
#29
well, if it works.
...Nothing you've ever...
...Planned on ever turned out...
...The way you planned...


...You're still disappointing them...
#30
EDIT: Reserved for crit where I'm not a total douche.
Quote by justinb904
im more of a social godzilla than chameleon

Quote by MetalMessiah665
Alright, I'll give them a try, Japanese Black Speed rarely disappoints.

Quote by azzemojo
Hmm judging from your pic you'd fit in more with a fat busted tribute.
Last edited by duncang at Jul 4, 2008,
#31
My apologies for not getting back to you immediately.
Thank you for completing it.
It was great to begin with, but with the added harmonies, it sounds really full and complete.
Man, does this ever sound like Dream Theater...
Great Job
#32
Quote by duncang
It didn't even get vaguely interesting until the guitar solo. Before then it was trying way too hard to be prog. Hell, the whole song is trying too hard to be prog with too much spazzy shit to be 'perfect' (). Seriously, skip to any part of the song and you can see how you're trying to be BTBAM

I actually laughed very very hard at several points during this. You have a couple of interesting chord progressions and a couple of half decent riffs but other than that it was all very much 'ZOMG EPIC!' recycle bin fodder with not much going for it.

Not to mention it has a horrendously bad ending.


dude.....

seriously, even if you didn't like it can you tell how long he spent writing this? what's wrong with you? you talk like you're a songwriting god.

I just lost a ton of respect for you.
...Nothing you've ever...
...Planned on ever turned out...
...The way you planned...


...You're still disappointing them...
#33
Quote by Its_Rock77
dude.....

seriously, even if you didn't like it can you tell how long he spent writing this? what's wrong with you? you talk like you're a songwriting god.

I just lost a ton of respect for you.


Honestly, I probably wouldn't have been as harsh if I hadn't seen all the ridiculous praise, calling it a 'perfect song' or whatever. I was in a bad mood, and sick of seeing all this 'OMG EPIC!' stuff pasted everywhere, and I guess I took it out on this guy. When I get round to it I'll give it a fair crit.

EDIT: Actually...jesus christ, you're right. I was a right cunt

Sorry threadstarter...I'm really sorry you had to face the full force of me in a whiny-ass mood
Quote by justinb904
im more of a social godzilla than chameleon

Quote by MetalMessiah665
Alright, I'll give them a try, Japanese Black Speed rarely disappoints.

Quote by azzemojo
Hmm judging from your pic you'd fit in more with a fat busted tribute.
Last edited by duncang at Jul 4, 2008,
#34
To tell you the truth I was expecting everyone to bomb me down but instead all these "OMG EPIC!" posts as you called them just built my ego. Your post kind of helped duncang. Looking back at the song, it was kind of bland at some parts and I knew it before, but I didn't get how you thought the whole entire song was not interesting at all. At least next time, don't be as big a douche to the next person you crit. After this, I honestly won't care for your future opinions or if you don't like it, you're clearly a minority.
#35
Quote by Its_Rock77
dude.....

seriously, even if you didn't like it can you tell how long he spent writing this? what's wrong with you? you talk like you're a songwriting god.

I just lost a ton of respect for you.


It only took about a week and a half of total days working on it and maybe...ummm...1-2 hours a day.
#36
Quote by dervishguitar
To tell you the truth I was expecting everyone to bomb me down but instead all these "OMG EPIC!" posts as you called them just built my ego. Your post kind of helped duncang. Looking back at the song, it was kind of bland at some parts and I knew it before, but I didn't get how you thought the whole entire song was not interesting at all. At least next time, don't be as big a douche to the next person you crit. After this, I honestly won't care for your future opinions or if you don't like it, you're clearly a minority.


I'm normally a pretty helpful critter, it's just that your thread had a bad combination of me in a bad mood and all these people praising it to high heavens, plus I saw your sig which just pissed me off, really. Like I said, I'll give you a fairer crit when I get round to it.
Quote by justinb904
im more of a social godzilla than chameleon

Quote by MetalMessiah665
Alright, I'll give them a try, Japanese Black Speed rarely disappoints.

Quote by azzemojo
Hmm judging from your pic you'd fit in more with a fat busted tribute.
#37
Quote by duncang
I'm normally a pretty helpful critter, it's just that your thread had a bad combination of me in a bad mood and all these people praising it to high heavens, plus I saw your sig which just pissed me off, really. Like I said, I'll give you a fairer crit when I get round to it.


Yeah, your right my sig does make me come across as a douche bag. Sorry about that. I'd really like to hear your revised crit though, good or bad.
#38
Well I actually listened to this about a month ago, or near enough... and I keep meaning to get round to critting it...
...and I'm one of those fellows who tends to crit every bar, so this could take a while...

Bar, the first: bam. That is cool. And straight away you're ripping off Dream Theater.
(...I'm not having a go though, 'cause "you're just ripping off Dream Theater" is pretty much the ultimate musical compliment.)

Throwing in that high E on the synth does create a ZOMFG SUPER DREAM THEATER SIZED BIG CHORD feel, which is always nice.
Drums so far are fairly basic, but they really get the job done.

To me, bar 6 is telling me to watch out, because an epic riff is just a few bars away, and it is going to really really hurt. Bar 10 just keeps the suspense going, which I really like.

Bringing in the ride cymbal for bar 18 comes in at just the right time, to keep my interest, and the new part in bar 19 was... well, mint. I really liked it. It seems less Dream Theatery now, which is cool. Sorta reminds me of Pantera, with the rhythm based riff, and the odd bluesy(ish) run.

Loving the way you use those tritones in bar 21 to bring in the keys solo. Bar 22 starts off with quite a nice melody to it, and bar 23 just seems to say, screw you guys, let's prog this mother up! The run down in bar 25 is bang on the money =O

Bar 26 is in Pantera =)
...and Portnoy was drumming bar 27.

I likes the way it goes into the section from bar 28 onwards, and the second half of bar 29 is once again, a Dime moment.
Bar 32's drums really beef that riff up some, good job, and I likes bar 35.

The bass section is very Dream Theater, and the drums in 39 are, once again, Portnoy, yay.
Bar 40 drums, come in the same way a lot of Vinnie Paul's stuff did in Pantera, but the tricky shuffles in it, seem very Dream Theater again...

Bar 41 sees that riff welcome to come back. The last four notes of bar 57 are my favourite part so far. It's again with the Pantera feel, and they just sound like something serious is about to happen. Bar 48 onwards is just beefy. Real beefy.
Good, solid drums, and it is about bar 56 that I realised... this isn't gonna be a verse chorus verse chorus song, is it?

The 3/4 riff next was wicked, that 3/4 really gave it some drive. Bar 72 flows unspeakably well! and then the drums really liven it all up.

Bar 81 screams Cannibal Corpse to me.

I love how the verse 3 riff just seems to bob up and down, and again the double time drums fit really well. Bar 98 leads me to ask if this stuff just comes to you, or were you aiming for a Dream Theater sorta sound?

I like the way the parts from bar 105 are all broken up, and it leads really well into bar 109, which I see as a variation of all the earlier verse riffs, mixed with the more jumpy sound you're now using.

Bar 112 - 113 = yayyy!

Wicked drums as usual, and the next riff really soars. Perfect harmonies.
The changing in and out of half/double time work really well...
...and those chugs just caught me off guard, but in a really good way.

Makes me wonder what they could be leading up to...
...and they lead up to awesome. I love the way that Interlude moves from the E to a G.

I cannot place the composer the Random Transition reminds me of, but he's one of the greats. Probably that Bach dude, I hear he was alright. (Shi t hot.)

Bar 161 says to me, that not only is this not gonna be my standard verse chorus song, it's gonna transcent genres from bar to bar, like it don't give a damn!
Super cliche on the drums, though... ha.

No I really like this bit. And when that solo flies in (again it's classical to me, v. Beethoven, I reckon.) it gives this piece a) an epic feel to it and b) it feels like it's about to be the biggest finale ever.

But oh no... not this piece huh?

After the perfect solos, (that really work their way up to the pre-interlude well) there is the interlude that goes whump whump... and sounds rather Muse-esque. This is what would happen, if Dream Theater wanted to be Muse. (Actually, Prophets of War is what would happen, but I digress.)
Still... it's got feeling. Well, as much feeling as Guitar Pro can give.

Now, the upward dives. I don't like, at all.
I think there were too many.
-strops-

That said, they're growing on me. The last "upwards dive" does seem to take a tad too long, though.

The wierd riff next is really cool, and builds up well, and I love bar 249 and 250.
Even in all that oddness, you still manage to recatch people's attention.

"Twinkling bells? ...the hell's goin' on here?!"

A = Dream Theater. And I wish I could write drums like that.
Bar 255, I like the way the bass goes dunnnnnnnnnn... and also the harmonies used.

B is insanely catchy, what the hell man?
C is just meaty.

I like how bar 266 ends on an two E5s, and the way the riff is now in 4ths, instead of 5ths.

Ending bar 270 on that G was one serious musical cliff hanger, and really gets the drum fill in 271 noticed.
I quite like how it goes back into the C riff, and I don't usually like my riffs to play more than once, ha.

Bar 277/278 = mwah, bellisimo. Which I think is Italian for good...

279 is almost an old school thrash riff, I really like it, it has drive, and the use of cymbals make the powerchords even greater. I like the drum fills used throughout also, and the double time feel.

The G5 under the clean part went really well, but not using RSE, it didn't fade out =(
I stuck in a fade though, and it sounded really nice. I really like the bass line here, and the chord in bar 303.

The distortion guitar in 309 to 310 was alright, but I didn't like it that much.
Seemed an odd choice of notes.

What I do like however, is the way bars 313 and 314 sorta go SMASH when the second guitar rises up, which really makes bars 317 and 318 sound tasty in context.

Epic melody.

Bar 327 = sudden, and win.
When that riff really kicks in, it's like Metallica and Pantera have just had a baby.
And it was born a man. A real man. The Portnoy style of drums realllly emphasises the riff too, my favourite kind of drums.

The synths make a very welcome come back, and their harmonies are wicked.
The fill at the end of

346 were hyper win.

I didn't like the Spaniard riff. There was nothing wrong with it, it just really wasn't my kind of thing. Still, it has nice drums. I did however like the run down in bar 362/363.

The Rush instrumental bit was amazing. The chords progressed perfectly. The way some notes were held on, the bass, the drums. All of it. Wonderful. And it made bar 380 hyperepicwinepicepic.

The clean part was very nice, bar 367 especially, and I love the way just a single tap of the hi-hat brings the band in.

When the band comes in, the bass really reminds me of something.
And the drums are similar to the big major chords from earlier.
The bass makes 392 onwards beautiful.

The gentle use of ride in 395 was wonderful.

As for the solo (which you called a sole?) the 70s would be proud of the way it first comes in.
I really like the quick sorta sweep and the speedy runs, too.
Bar 399 is epic, and makes 400 superepic, and I really like the stops you use in the rhythm.

That run in 403 was beautiful, well the hell done.

I loved the bass leading up to the D Major. It really got the Major to make an impact.

Which it really really did.
And the solo over it was unspeakably huge.

Again, I expect there could be a finale here, and can't wait to see how I'm proved wrong this time.

Bar 422 shows me how, and sets the piece up to go well... anywhere.

And you take it to the ball park? Epic drums rolls, and a really jumpy riff.
Which is silly, but I guess you meant it to be. I'd hope.

I did like it though.

Very Dream Theater, in that it's a daft interlude, but it doesn't actually sound so much like them, which is pretty cool.

The leads from 444 are wicked, and the go really well into 454. (Oh, and all drums are win.)

There's some damn soulful sweeping here. This is practically gospel.
Verse 8 = win bass.

The chugged hopes bit is really cool, especially when the drums really start going for it.

Ooh, a solo! I like the way it travels up and down. I'm just using my ears now - is one arpeggiating?

The jump into is really sudden, and it's good. A dramatic change in atmosphere?
I feel the whammy bars are trying to tell me something here.
Something tragic, anyway.

The acoustic guitars comfirm this. And they do it well.
Bars 511 - 514, I love.
The minor third in 521, not so much... kinda said yuck to me.

...wait, I've just seen what you're doing here, it's a buildup right? Woops.

(UG says my comment is too long... so to be continued.)
#39
"...wait, I've just seen what you're doing here, it's a buildup right? Woops."

Ooh, Dream Theater are back. Holy. Crap. Bar 530 drums. Duggaduggaduggadugga... mint.
Okay so the drums are really good.

Dark chord progressions here, sorta swooping up to hopeful, then getting tense again, with niiice bass under it. This is really good.

And the key arpeggios are awesome!!! Haha, I think this piece really needed something a little lighter about now, and you hit the spot fine.

Classicy sounding guitars here. You used this progression earlier, right?
Hmm...

Bar 572 onwards, I love.

Actually, in a lot of your chords progressions, you really throw the mood around, changing from bar to bar, and I really like that. Music speaks very loudly to me, so I'm almost always in the same mood as the sounds I can hear. And this is fcuking me up, good and proper.

575... progressive laid back smooth jazz summer pop?
Nice bass.
Ditto drums.

Just seen the "but it's cool" - you're not wrong there.
And the solo is super jammy.

My crit is getting lamer by the minute...
...and the harmonies are just getting better!

WOAH! Techno Metal Explosion, I love it. (Very metalcore, but I don't seem to mind.)

Epic guitar solo indeed. Sounds like a patient Yngwie Malmsteen joining Iron Maiden and/or Arch Enemy.
And the synths really rip this piece up some, I loved all of that.

Bar 631 = BAM... drags a guy down into the depths that bar does.

And yay, the theme is back!
...but, evil.
...and, it is getting more evil with the drums kickin' it some.

Yay 648. groove with a bit of diminished never fails...
Bar 652 was epic!!! ...then the chord progression is all like "actually no" and dies, painfully, but sounding super.

Oh I get it, it is a medley of your own piece. I tried doing one of these, it failed.
Up to 660 it's all very Dream Theater again... and this next bit...

...have you ever heard Mammal Sauce by Crotchduster? They do a mock Danzig section half way through, and bars 661 - 663 reminded me of it. Awesome, though.

Still don't like the Trivium-esque bit at 664, but it does go well here.

The second half of 667 and all of 668 sound really Dream Theater, again... nice use of timbale in 668, and loving the drums under that nice big chord you choose to outro on.

Wow... if it wasn't for the gradual slowing pace of the drums, that ending would so not work.

But it did.


...wow, that's the end... that was amazing.

General points, all the solos were good and in key and whatnot, you clearly know what you're doing... your time sigging flowed very well, your structure was amazing... and I am jealous of your ability to write drums.

Very much so.


If you got some spare time, would you crit on https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=15137316#post15137316 ?

It's kinda similar to what you've got... in that it's proggy, and a bit Dream Theater... but it's nowhere near as immense.

Anyway, I feel your feedback on it would be especially useful.
(And it's only half as long as yours, so hey, easy peasy.)

Cheers, and well bloody done...

Rob
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