Just tried my hand at writing a blue's song, I plan on making up a chord progression with this and if i can (i cant sing to well) recording it.

any criticism is welcome (constructive of course)


Ive got the blues,
aint you heard,
Ive got the blues,
I said, aint you heard,
Ive got those old time blues,

Ive got the
I said ive got the,
Ive got them old time blues,

I aint talking about no trouble of small,
Im talking the blues,
those old time blues,
aint you heard,
ive got them old time blues
just what am i going to do,
these old,
these old time blues.

My baby,
My baby, well my baby is giving me these blues,
my baby,
aww my baby left me for good,
aww my baby,
aww my baby left me here in this mud,
my baby, my baby be to blame,
she left me for fortune and fame,
she left me for good,
now all i got is this mud.

old time blues,
Ive got the old time blues,
just me and my mud,
these old time blues,
there here for good.

ma old time,
ma old time,
ma old time blues,
Other than the nonstop usage of the word "blues" this was decent. I really don't have experience with the genre, so it's hard to say. I thought the middle part, "fortune and fame" made good usage of rhyming in the latter part. That's all I can really say.
fair point, i just counted 13 blues, that is quite abit.

What about this;

Why is it me,
what did i do,
to be treated like this,

what did i do,
tell me,
please tell me,
what did i do,

was it my fault,
am i to blame,
for loving you in this way,

all i did,
was give you all i had,
true to the word,
not a thought that was bad,

tell me,
am i to blame,
am i to blame,

i cant go on,
ive tried for to long,
loving and caring,
you knew that,
you took everything,
and left me with this,

a whole in my heart,
a scar on my soul,
no more will i care,
no more will live.

(i wont start a new thread for it, but is it better than the one above), it's a totally diffrent song that i just wrote, but im thinking maybe it'll sound better?! :\ )