#1
Verse 1
As the world we know, slowly fades away
I look down upon this endless sea of grey
So many blank faces force fed what to say
Their lives,their hopes,their dreams, slowly snatched away

Chorus:

The man in Washington, he tells me what to be
The man on my tv screen, controls what i see
No matter how im shown your propaganda
Ill never think of peace as the devils agenda
Dont matter how you try to make me be
Im not your puppet and youll never control me

Verse 2
Democrats and republicans you are all the same
Artists of deception, masters of blame
Right wing, left wing, just dont even try
Because we all know it takes two wings to fly

Chorus (without the first two lines)

So if your finnally ready to live your life
acheive your hopes and dreams
go ahead and take these scissors
cut off your strings

( this is just a simple punk anthem and im not exactly a lyrical genious but hey give me some crit on this)
You Are Now Aware Of Your Own Breathing
Last edited by conquistador at Jun 28, 2008,
#2
I didn't like the rhymes. They were quite cliche. You had the see/be/me three headed monster, and then away/say/grey was bad as well. And you seemed to repeat "away" and "be", which felt cliche. To be honest, the entire piece had that air about it.
#3
yea i dont write very much i was just curious i guess

its just a simple punk anthem though
You Are Now Aware Of Your Own Breathing
#4
i definately need to revise first verse though seeing as how when i wrote it i had a different intention of the song and i t came out different then what i was expecting to write about

but im definateley going to rewrite the first verse which i agree is very weak
You Are Now Aware Of Your Own Breathing