#2
Ahhh man....Too bad it cuts off right there...I was just getting into it.
I liked the ideas in the piano intro, but it just felt a little overly, sparse....like it was unfinished yet. Nice melodic concepts though
I really liked that melodic build up when the guitars kicked in and it would probably transition nicely into a tight, syncopated change up before going into a verse section or something like that.
Sounds like a good start...just feels a bit incomplete obviously...but I like it.

Crit Anything here


Don
#3
Nice intro, liked it a lot, and it's cool how the guitar carries on the piano melody, then... awwwwwwww, it ended this has a lot of potential, if you complete the song, and not let the standard slip, this could turn into a decent metal song. Try cutting into a faster part after that, bringing in a new melody, but not going too heavy, then slow down in the verse or chorus, the speed up again in the verse/chorus (whichever you didn't slow down in), keep at it, I'll enjoy listening to the complete work.

C4C?
take a pick;

Death Metal:
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=893984

Acoustic:
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=896964

thanks.
#4
Thanks for the kind words ^_^

I was expecting flaming. This really isn't the best I have written (In my opinion)

Ok im going to crit all your guys work
#6
Quote by chrisbeevor
Hey man, cool stuff so far. Very cool. And going somewhere. Serious cliffhanger

On a crit level I'd say maybe play with some dynamic stuff and nail that build up... big dramatic style! You could even maybe try the piano right hand in a higher octave?

But excellent concept man!

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=15010417


Yeah i was thinking of adding a bit of feedback or something before the guitar comes in.

Maybe a bit of a change in the drum parts to.
I will crit your stuff in a second

EDIT: What scale do you guys think would fit? I used the minor scale for the piano stuff so should i stick with that?

Thanks again guys. I seriously came in here expecting "Give up kid" "Wow i want that minute of my life back" etc etc.
I feel accomplished for a 14 year old
Last edited by Final !mpact at Jun 30, 2008,
#7
Has potential to be a nice metal ballad.
I listened a few times and picked up my guitar and improvised over when the distorted guitar comes in. There's plenty of stuff you can do with it so let it roll out, be great to hear it as a finished piece!
~ J6hn
#9
Quote by Asthia
Has potential to be a nice metal ballad.
I listened a few times and picked up my guitar and improvised over when the distorted guitar comes in. There's plenty of stuff you can do with it so let it roll out, be great to hear it as a finished piece!


When improvising what scales and stuff did you use?
#10
Well....It's too short!! I too liked the guitar part when it came in. It sounded very full and did fit well. But there isn't really alot to say about it yet. It's got some great potential though. I can hear some parts right now as I'm writing this!

Keep it up!!

Wadester

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=898572