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#1
"Some time ago there was a place. A place called Hope. And in this place, there was a time. A time called Desire. And in this place at this time someone decided that pieces of chocolate were delicious and decided to put them inside of sugar dough. That was an awesome idea. But then you, the ass-licking, vindictive raisin, got jealous and lonely and decided to be inside of my cookies sometimes too. That was not awesome. In fact, it fucking sucked. You're a chewy, obnoxious, healthy interruption to my cookies.

Nature's candy? You know what-- fuck you. You're just the pathetic misshapen remnants of a grape, a mediocre fruit to begin with. You're in my cookie because you think you're so much better than chocolate chips, which happen to be awesome. You happen to suck.

In conclusion, fuck you. Fuck you and your motherfucking vitamins and your minerals. I don't respect your sexuality. Fuck you and your cocky-ass fucking wrinkles. You look like my scrotum. And while you may or may not be significantly larger than my scrotum, you taste much worse. My scrotum is delicious. Chocolate chips are delicious. You are a punk. But this isn't about my scrotum. This is about the blood of my forefathers, spilt on the land that you defile with your miniaturized goodiness. This is about liberty, justice, and other various things that are really awesome, like tiger sharks. And velociraptors. Goddamnit are they kick ass. With their strong jaws and their many rows of razor teeth and sickle-shaped talons. I saw on the Discovery Channel that a flock of seven could tear apart Joe Lieberman in 18 seconds flat on a moderately humid day. That's so fucking cool. I wish I was like that sometimes--all powerful and strong. Sometimes when my roommate leaves I take all my clothes off and pretend I'm a velociraptor and pounce upon my roommate's desk as would a ferocious bloodthirsty velociraptor, knocking over his lamp with my semi-erect penis. And then I drink apple juice.

Fuck you, raisins. Stay out of my cookies.
#2
Craisins are for the real men.
BRIGHT LIGHTS PUT ME IN A TRANCE.
but it aint house music that makes me want to dance.
#3
I like raisins.

Play a Cort ?

Play with V-Picks ?

Every minute is to be Grasped........................................................................Time waits for nobody.

#4
Ha ha you have a scrotum the size of a raisin!
"There are millions of people in the world, and none of those people are an extra. They're all leads in their own stories."
<//////>~
#5
...I like raisins too.
Ibanez s540 with gold Schaller bridge and OMGGOLD hardware

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Lee Jackson XLSC - 500

Roland Microcube

Dunlop Jazz III black
#8
That was one of the funniest things I've ever read, where did you take it from? Or did you write it yourself? The Quotation mark at the beginning has me wondering.
#9
i enjoyed reading that...dont worry i hate raisins too

Last edited by deckerbastard69 at Jun 29, 2008,
#11
Quote by Serpeth
Sometimes when my roommate leaves I take all my clothes off and pretend I'm a velociraptor and pounce upon my roommate's desk as would a ferocious bloodthirsty velociraptor, knocking over his lamp with my semi-erect penis. And then I drink apple juice.



this is sigged!!!!
Quote by Serpeth
Sometimes I take all my clothes off and pretend I'm a velociraptor and pounce upon my roommate's desk as would a ferocious bloodthirsty velociraptor, knocking over his lamp with my semi-erect penis. And then I drink apple juice.
#13
That was an interesting read in which I took part in some hearty lulz. Thank you kindly good sir for making my day
#14
I lol'd... alot...i mean alot...
Quote by Wrst_Plyr_Evr
I beat my wife








Beating yea bi
#17
Omg that was so RANDOM
You are so RANDOM
Everything is so RANDOM
Quote by kriscornella2@g
I know i wish i was as cool as you and be into Sum 41 and Taking back Sunday. Gaylord.

Quote by civildp1
you should call one of the songs, "Respecting Old People" just to mix things up.

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You just made a very powerful enemy BenFoffenbock.
#19
A worthy effort.
I chortled.
Quote by telecastrmastr
if this goes in someones signature im gunna be pissed


Quote by jimithrash
what do you mean by goat
#21
Quote by RU Experienced?
That was one of the funniest things I've ever read, where did you take it from? Or did you write it yourself? The Quotation mark at the beginning has me wondering.


It's from a facebook group. Thought it might be something the Pit could appreciate.
XD
#22
You're all asshandlers.
Quote by im_hungry, imthehitcher, DeathTouch666, BobMarleysGhost, catchy phrase, flyman, cheeseman3001, Cpt.Jackass, evening_crow, just17n8, Ziggums, MoleMania, Baa I'm a Sheep, x_themetalfan_x, hippy12:


Give him a handjob


Had to consolidate the sig.
#23
I am currently eating a bowl of cereal with raisins in it. It is delicious.

Now prunes on the other hand...
kill all humans
#25


I got a good chuckle outta that

thank you

Raisins Rock!!!
I've seen some things man and some stuff, and i don't recommend it
#27
I like raisins.How can you compare to your scrotum instead of the beautiful sun?
MY GEAR
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#28
Quote by soulflyV
You sir, are worse than Hitler.


May i ask how, depending on your answer you may have to be punished
I've seen some things man and some stuff, and i don't recommend it
#31
Quote by PatentPending
May i ask how, depending on your answer you may have to be punished


You posted something along the lines of:

Quote by PatentPending


Raisins Rock!!!


Chocolate chip = Good

Raisins = Bad

Therefore, we can deduce that you are Bad. And Hitler was not good.

From this graph:

good > not quite good > not bad > not good > not quite good > bad

we can deduce that you, sir, are worse than Hitler.
#32
Quote by soulflyV


Chocolate chip = Good

Raisins = Bad

Therefore, we can deduce that you are Bad. And Hitler was not good.

From this graph:

good > not quite good > not bad > not good > not quite good > bad

we can deduce that you, sir, are worse than Hitler.


wait... so hitler is three places below chocolate chips
I've seen some things man and some stuff, and i don't recommend it
Last edited by PatentPending at Jun 29, 2008,
#33
Quote by soulflyV
You posted something along the lines of:


Chocolate chip = Good

Raisins = Bad

Therefore, we can deduce that you are Bad. And Hitler was not good.

From this graph:

good > not quite good > not bad > not good > not quite good > bad

we can deduce that you, sir, are worse than Hitler.



sigged.
#34
hi
Quote by DanRev
"Come over to my place, no ones home"


I went, there was no one home.


Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
#38
Quote by PatentPending
we know this, look up



Oh...i just googled it and got giddy with excitement that i'd uncovered a lie that i didn't read the large majority of the thread....(sorry)
You're So Scene Right Now ^_^


Quote by Kensai
Finally his girlfriend found out what it was like giving oral sex to fishsmelling genital organs.
#39
Very nice. North Shore ftw by the way.

You're a bartender and 15 though?
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Sinisa Rules all.


Quote by zbest
That is part of the reason that the mafia does so much drug trafficing, its so they wont die of hunger because they dont have anything.
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