#1
Another attempt at a death metal song. C4C

_______________
...And The Heavens Shall Tremble


Pray for mercy
And swift death
As these cities burn
The new king of hell rises

Dawn of our black hearts
In this dark game
In this sick satire
Dusk of our black thoughts
And our moral coil

The doom lord stands at night
Singing songs of mourning
As these cities burn
The new king of hell rises

Kiss me and you will see
How my black heart bleeds

The call of the trumpets
To the depths of hell
And the heavens shall tremble
To fire and death
The new king of hell has risen

Prey for mercy
And a swift death
As these cities burn
And ashes black the sky
Impending doom is upon us
And the heavens shall tremble
________________________
Last edited by Take This Life at Jul 2, 2008,
#2
Death metal or Gothic Rock...take your pick.

LOVE the lyrics all the same though.
#3
Okay, the title sounded cool, so thats why I checked this out. I'm not really a death metal kind of guy, but I did really like the section beginning with "dawn of our black hearts", I thought it was well written and I liked the language use... Otherwise, I don't feel qualified to critique this because its not my thing.
#4
Quote by qwerty_555
Death metal or Gothic Rock...take your pick.

LOVE the lyrics all the same though.

Why thank you.
#5
amazing lyrics.... your original
you put the word trumpets.....
My band name is As Trumpets Fade
Quote by Mad Mike 829
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Teacher: Of course not, I wouldnt star you on something hard
Girl: I wanna see something hard
Me & Freind: Thats what she said!

ended up getting kicked out for disrupting class
#6
i agree very much so with Skaliveson..in the way that i am not a real death metal kind of writer...i am only 15 so my critiques prolly wont be too great as i am not as experienced as others. but over all i enjoyed the dark sort of vibe that this lyric gave me...pretty cool
#7
i am not a real death metal kind of writer...i am only 15


So am I xD lol

thanks for the crit though
#8
this is friggin great, definitely death metal, I'm 15 myself and that's, as I've said, friggin great, being able to use hell, without it being cliche is a talent, you did it, well done.

If you could check out Silhouettes and Coffee Mugs, its not death metal, but still she needs some looking over, thanks !
#9
This however is much better than the other one, particularly this stanza:
"The call of the trumpets
To the depths of hell
And the heavens shall tremble
To fire and death
The new king of hell has risen"
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