#1
C4C- On the spot.

Friend of mine wanted me to right a hardcore song for him, but, seriously; come on. Just right some nonsensical thing about Christianity. Everyone's doing it.

Jesus H. Christ.

Screw it, this is about war or something.
_______________

We carry this crest upon our chest
Blazing like morning's glory
We'll weather through these times, line after line
Just to make an epic story

Our banner held high, as all let out a sigh
Their conviction is staggering
Why are we here? Even after, it's not clear

Questions are dangerous things

I loathe the day
That I return
In this way
No glory should be earned

See the world
For what it really is
Boys and girls
You need to hear this
Ours is not to wonder why
Ours is just to do and die

The story of a soldiers life

______________________

I just took the most cliche idea I could think of, and the next best thing in hardcore beside religion is some sort of fighting motif. At least I think it is. w/e His band isn't that good anyway.
Last edited by MarbleClear at Jul 1, 2008,
#2
Favorite part is the song title. The rest is still good, but damn, that title is awesome. Pretty lengthy though. If you have to cut down, I'd call "Because you played with a chainsaw." Good stuff.
Guitar Player Since April 12th, 2005.
Guitar of Choice: Schecter S-1 Elite
Proud of His Two Warnings
#3
i too was impressed more by the title than anything else. the hemingway reference is cool. the piece itself was just boring. the diction lacked, a lot of the rhymes were cliche, and it kind of insisted upon itself. it seems like you've had that title vaulted away somewhere for awhile. i'd suggest you save it for a song you've put more thought into.

the truth is all ideas are cliche. the trick is finding a way to say it that isn't. if you didn't want to write this i don't see why you did or why you posted it on here in the first place. either a.) you didn't take it seriously or b.) you're hiding behind not taking it seriously since you know it's such a crappy piece.

sorry to be harsh. it's not crappy. it's better than a lot of stuff on here.
#4
The title I came up with right before I posted it, and I don't have a song or band to play it with that this would be a good title for. I agree, though, that it deserves better.

It was meant as a more satirical thing. I've read a lot of lyrics to the songs in this genre and, quite frankly, they're ridiculous.
Last edited by MarbleClear at Jul 1, 2008,