#1
Wrote this 2 years ago, thought i should throw at you people.

Violence is created by God,

God is nothing but a fraud.

Watching us all on his world of hate,

Waiting for all of us to meet our ending fate.

Blood - Violence - Gore,

All created by God.

Death - Sadness - War,

all created by the fraud.

Tearing up all our lives,

So he can feed and thrive.

His mistakes, he won't fix,

To live, all must choose 666

The bible is the biggest liar,

All that follow will burn in fire.

Blood - Violence - Gore,

All created by god.

Death - Sadness - War,

All created to hide his fraud.

All of our eyes burn with fire,

Watching at what has been done by a liar.

No blood spilled in war,

Or lives lost in a bloody gore,

Nothing can save this place,

Look in the mirrior at your face,

And relize this endless fate,

And live through the godless hate.
Gallien Krueger is awesome
#7
this could be a slayer song, its terrible
Did i eat too many?
did I jump in too fast?
how long's this shit last?
Everyone take off ya mask, I lost my grasp



Like weeds?
#8
Um... "To live, all must choose 666" Its never explained why we need to follow 666.
#11
Quote by lionslicer9999
Wrote this 2 years ago, thought i should throw at you people.

Violence is created by God,
God is nothing but a fraud.
The rhyme, which could have done well, was ruined by the fact that the second line started off with "God". Emphasises the wrong part of the line.
Watching us all on his world of hate,
Waiting for all of us to meet our ending fate.
These lines are too long. You have a lot of flavorless words in here, meaning they just fulfill grammatical requirements. For example, line three could be "Watching us, his world of hate". "All on" isn't vital to the line meaning, just grammer. And grammer is the 6-year-old that you have to take to work because you can't afford a babysitter.
Blood - Violence - Gore,
All created by God.
Death - Sadness - War,
all created by the fraud.
Chop a syllable off the last line and you've got a tightly wound set here, though "created" isn't a very musical fruit. I like the internal rhyme with "Violence/Sadness".
Tearing up all our lives,
So he can feed and thrive.
His mistakes, he won't fix,
To live, all must choose 666
There's only one song in the history of music that can rhythmically say 666. The "cks" sound at the end of 6 is unmusical, and requires a full pause, and then you put three in a row, in a line that was already at the syllable limit.
The bible is the biggest liar,
All that follow will burn in fire.
Blood - Violence - Gore,
All created by god.
Death - Sadness - War,
All created to hide his fraud.
All of our eyes burn with fire,
Watching at what has been done by a liar.
Your average line is made of three poetical "feet" (in this case, 6 syllables). This one has four feet, which makes it a jarring crag in your lyrical mountain.
No blood spilled in war,
Or lives lost in a bloody gore,
Nothing can save this place,
Look in the mirrior at your face,
Cliche.
And relize this endless fate,
And live through the godless hate.


Your rhythm was tight, that much I can say.
#12
These are just generic 12 year old lyrics...


Not a fan.


I have seen a lot of satanic lyrics that i like and this is not one of them.
#14
Haha it was never going to please the poets in here but it made me smile...I could hear Nathan Explosion singing it

It's juvenile but fun.
#15
Quote by smb
Haha it was never going to please the poets in here but it made me smile...I could hear Nathan Explosion singing it

It's juvenile but fun.



EXACTLY!!!!!
Gallien Krueger is awesome
#16
Quote by smb
Haha it was never going to please the poets in here but it made me smile...I could hear Nathan Explosion singing it

It's juvenile but fun.



yeah something about it screamed Dethklok to me... and now i've been justified.
#17
as others have said it is generic
but what i don't understand is that you refer to god as being false and a fraud and then you blame god for violence, war, sadness, basically all that is wrong in the world
thats a contradiction
you can't blame something that doesn't exist
#18
Quote by Randompzycho
as others have said it is generic
but what i don't understand is that you refer to god as being false and a fraud and then you blame god for violence, war, sadness, basically all that is wrong in the world
thats a contradiction
you can't blame something that doesn't exist


I didn't say God didn't exist, God being a fraud and false is saying God is not all what he's cracked up to be in the bible and on tv.
Gallien Krueger is awesome
#20
Quote by Shea Mackay
Dude this pretty much is a Slayer Song (God Hates us all)


There is no slayer song called God Hates us All, just an album. You are probably thinking of the song Disciple, which the words "God Hates us All" are chanted in parts of the song. The lyrics I made, come no where close to that, it has the same meaning kind of, but there is bearly any real similarities.

go look up the lyrics if you don't believe me.
Gallien Krueger is awesome
#21
I was just about to mention Disciple till I read those last couple lines.

If this is a song, it better be metal as satan.

I really liked the part about God watching us, waiting for us to kill each other and meet our fate. Makes him look like a total asshole.

And I liked the "hide his fraud" bit too.
#22
not to be a downer, but this is pathetic. Not because it's cliche, not because it's poorly written, not because I'm a writer and I look down on you as a mere "lyricist" (as that would be equally pathetic) even if the above may be all true. It is just pathetic that you think we will actually buy the argument you are presenting with such hyperbolic, unsubstantiated claims. In any set of lyrics I want to be persuaded of something, anything, and this only persuaded me to dislike the piece in front of me.

Plus, if actually believed, this "theory" of the world would lead one to a life of an agonizing self-centered sorrow.

Although, don't worry, i wrote the exact same piece, almost verbatim, in seventh grade
#23
Quote by #1 synth
not to be a downer, but this is pathetic. Not because it's cliche, not because it's poorly written, not because I'm a writer and I look down on you as a mere "lyricist" (as that would be equally pathetic) even if the above may be all true. It is just pathetic that you think we will actually buy the argument you are presenting with such hyperbolic, unsubstantiated claims. In any set of lyrics I want to be persuaded of something, anything, and this only persuaded me to dislike the piece in front of me.

Plus, if actually believed, this "theory" of the world would lead one to a life of an agonizing self-centered sorrow.

Although, don't worry, i wrote the exact same piece, almost verbatim, in seventh grade


I don't expect to persuade anyone, I wrote it in about 20 minutes in spanish class like a year or so ago.

People who think im trying to persuade them are pretty ignorant to the fact that they have their own opinions. It's pathetic that you want to be persuaded by a set of lyrics. You read it, if you like it, you like it. If you don't like it, you don't like it, it's that simple, there is no more to it and you shouldn't say it's pathetic because of what it stands for.
Gallien Krueger is awesome