#1
How many words/euphemisms for masturbation can The Pit think of?

Try not to repost any.

I'll go first:

MASTURBATION.
#3
* shameless self promotion
* baking a cake
* playing godhand
* releasing the hostages
* spanking hank
* shakin' hands with the one-eyed milkman
* spanking the ham
* slapping your ham
* slamming the ham
* flogging your log
* meeting the bishop
* polishing your musket
* waxing your willy
* whacking your jack
* charming the one eyed python
* going to see Aunt Mary and her four daughters
* cleaning your pipes
* pounding your pud
* punching the clown
* lighting your wick
* playing pocket pool
* stroking it
* rubbing one off
* punching the one-eyed nun
* beating the meat
* pulling your goalie
* wanking
* jerking off
* jacking off
* pulling off
* shaking hands with the sheriff
* choking your chicken
* jerkin' your gherkin
* beating your meat
* shaking hands with shorty
* punching the clown
* whacking off
* killing some kittens
* dating Miss Michigan
* making some glue
* firing the surgeon general
* running in single user mode
* shaking hands with the minister of love
* waxing the dolphin, romancing yourself
* spanking the monkey
* spilling the chowder
* shaking hands with the unemployed
* benchpressing the wienermobile.
* hitting your ****
* churning the butter
* test firing the rape cannon
* tickling elmo
* dating Rosie Palm
* Catching the one eyed blue veined trouser trout
* Squashing the squid
* Slapping the salami
#6
Quote by Untitled001
* shameless self promotion
* baking a cake
* playing godhand
* releasing the hostages
* spanking hank
* shakin' hands with the one-eyed milkman
* spanking the ham
* slapping your ham
* slamming the ham
* flogging your log
* meeting the bishop
* polishing your musket
* waxing your willy
* whacking your jack
* charming the one eyed python
* going to see Aunt Mary and her four daughters
* cleaning your pipes
* pounding your pud
* punching the clown
* lighting your wick
* playing pocket pool
* stroking it
* rubbing one off
* punching the one-eyed nun
* beating the meat
* pulling your goalie
* wanking
* jerking off
* jacking off
* pulling off
* shaking hands with the sheriff
* choking your chicken
* jerkin' your gherkin
* beating your meat
* shaking hands with shorty
* punching the clown
* whacking off
* killing some kittens
* dating Miss Michigan
* making some glue
* firing the surgeon general
* running in single user mode
* shaking hands with the minister of love
* waxing the dolphin, romancing yourself
* spanking the monkey
* spilling the chowder
* shaking hands with the unemployed
* benchpressing the wienermobile.
* hitting your ****
* churning the butter
* test firing the rape cannon
* tickling elmo
* dating Rosie Palm
* Catching the one eyed blue veined trouser trout
* Squashing the squid
* Slapping the salami


/Thread.
Quote by bananahammock
How many mods does it take ban half of the pit?
one, Carmel.



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#7
What that pretty much killed this thread. ^
Quote by iHurricaneGTR

Goats are like mushrooms.
When you shoot a duck,
I'm afraid of toasters.

Quote by Avedas
South Korea should have their Starcraft league members double as military strategists.
#11
"Self Abuse" for all the Catholics out there.
Is it a bad thing if one of your testicles is larger then the other two?
#15
Master of your Domain

Seinfeld ftw
May the Schwartz be with us! 2012



MAL


Q: OK, so do you care about the labels — nastiest, edgiest team in the NFL?

Jim Schwartz: It's better than the alternative — meekest, least aggressive, softest team in the NFL.


#16
Yet another Catholic one, Getting Cancer...

Too far?
Quote by bananahammock
How many mods does it take ban half of the pit?
one, Carmel.



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#17
Almost forgot.

Petting the Percy
Quote by iHurricaneGTR

Goats are like mushrooms.
When you shoot a duck,
I'm afraid of toasters.

Quote by Avedas
South Korea should have their Starcraft league members double as military strategists.
#18
Quote by maidenrulz19
Master of your Domain

Seinfeld ftw


"He was not.. master of his domain. The muscles.. became so strained with.. overuse, that eventually the hand locked into a deformed position, and he was left with nothing
but a claw. He traveled the world seeking a cure, acupuncturists, herbalists, swamis, nothing helped. Towards the end, his hands became so frozen the was unable to manipulate utensils, and was dependent on Cub Scouts to feed him. "
Quote by blackenedktulu
CFH82, I love you. I didn't laugh, but my god, I love you.

Quote by Zero-Hartman
Holy shit, that was epic. A mighty roar escapeth'd my mouth.

Quote by WyvernOmega
I saw a penis.

last.fm
#22
Quote by CFH82
"He was not.. master of his domain. The muscles.. became so strained with.. overuse, that eventually the hand locked into a deformed position, and he was left with nothing
but a claw. He traveled the world seeking a cure, acupuncturists, herbalists, swamis, nothing helped. Towards the end, his hands became so frozen the was unable to manipulate utensils, and was dependent on Cub Scouts to feed him. "



"But are you still Master of your domain."
May the Schwartz be with us! 2012



MAL


Q: OK, so do you care about the labels — nastiest, edgiest team in the NFL?

Jim Schwartz: It's better than the alternative — meekest, least aggressive, softest team in the NFL.


#23
Hand Solo.
Jackson KVX10
Epiphone EB-3

Bugera 6260
Laney Supergroup Mk 1
Marshall VS100RH
Laney LX412A

Bad Monkey
Crybaby
Metal Muff
Fish N Chips
#24
waxing the bishop
knapsack
polishing the door knob
slap stick
beat the beaver
hushing the puppy
playing hoops
tuning in tokyo
Checking for Squirrels
pet the kitty
self service
fingerbang
PRS SE SC ♦ Dean Cadi ♦ Squier Strat ♦ Crate V5 ♦ AXL Akita AT30 ♦ Alhambra 4P ♦ Takamine f-349 ♦ Goodall KCJ
Boss ME-20 ♦ Monteallums modded TS9DX ♦ DOD Grunge ♦ #1Echo ♦
#25
Quote by Untitled001
* shameless self promotion
* baking a cake
* playing godhand
* releasing the hostages
* spanking hank
* shakin' hands with the one-eyed milkman
* spanking the ham
* slapping your ham
* slamming the ham
* flogging your log
* meeting the bishop
* polishing your musket
* waxing your willy
* whacking your jack
* charming the one eyed python
* going to see Aunt Mary and her four daughters
* cleaning your pipes
* pounding your pud
* punching the clown
* lighting your wick
* playing pocket pool
* stroking it
* rubbing one off
* punching the one-eyed nun
* beating the meat
* pulling your goalie
* wanking
* jerking off
* jacking off
* pulling off
* shaking hands with the sheriff
* choking your chicken
* jerkin' your gherkin
* beating your meat
* shaking hands with shorty
* punching the clown
* whacking off
* killing some kittens
* dating Miss Michigan
* making some glue
* firing the surgeon general
* running in single user mode
* shaking hands with the minister of love
* waxing the dolphin, romancing yourself
* spanking the monkey
* spilling the chowder
* shaking hands with the unemployed
* benchpressing the wienermobile.
* hitting your ****
* churning the butter
* test firing the rape cannon
* tickling elmo
* dating Rosie Palm
* Catching the one eyed blue veined trouser trout
* Squashing the squid
* Slapping the salami

#28
Quote by Led_Head Salvy
fluffing the ferret?


*looks at own username*

Get a Carvin. Do it.
#29
Quote by maidenrulz19
"But are you still Master of your domain."

"Im king of the castle"
▲I had a friend once
►He took some acid
▼Now he thinks he's a fire engine
#31
The five knuckle shuffle.
My Gear
Jackson RR5
Epiphone Les Paul Standard
Marshall MG10 : Deaceased
Esp Ltd Ec-50
Digitech Whammy
Dunlop wah
Marshall Avt 50x
#35
Quote by yellowlizard
I'm Catholic, is it actually an "official" sin?

i remember my youth minister saying it wasn't, but yeah it actually is. it's a venial sin though.


My mind is going. I can feel it.
#39
Kitten Killer

Remember kids, every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten.
Quote by nightraven
can't stand public showers
and yes i do have a small penis



Quote by thewho182
people in public showers make fun of my big dick


Quote by kyle33093
i would if pee pee was bigger


#40
Quote by Neillya1
Kitten Killer

Remember kids, every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten.

Curiosity killed the cat.
Gear:
Epiphone Les Paul Studio Custom (Alpine White)
Roland Microcube

Hoping to get a Strat or Tele next.