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#1
What is the funniest thing you have heard someone say or write without trying to be funny?

in history my teacher burst out laughiin cos he was marking someones coursework and they had written:
'one of the things the romans have given us a loos, this is helpful because people need to put there poos and wees somewhere, and puke after parties'
thats not that funny, until you find out it was in someons GCSE coursework :P

also, in maths today, i was sittin next to a girl in a test, and in her lunchbox was cherries, and they had fallen out, and i trod on one, and she shouted out:
'aarrrggghhh, you just burst my cherry' - the whole class of about 40 people turned around with shocked expressions
then, a few minutes later, she poked me, so i poked her back, but accidentally scratched her arm, and she AGAIN, shouted out
'im gettin really fed up of you nailing me today'

was funny at the time

whats the funniest thing youve heard that wasnt intentionally funny?
Peavey Valveking 212

Ibanez S520EX in grey
#2
Some of the dumbest things I have heard someone say seriously are:
"Do mormans eat vegetables?"
"What is water made of?"
Quote by StreetLight3989
Whatever but if I was to rate the austinaracadium he gets a 10.

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#6
"dude you should've heard this sweet-ass tone i got out of my Marshall MGDFX the other day"
i nearly wet myself
#8
i have something else to add:
a MUSLIM science teacher said to us:
the magnetic poles might flip and well all die
so someone said: so we could all die tomoro?

and he said:
not if all the muslims blow us up first

we were like, wtf, ur a muslim, and hes like, yeh, but some of us are retards, i was like, wtf, is that racist or not?
Peavey Valveking 212

Ibanez S520EX in grey
#9
Quote by ddrocksv3_4xpk
"dude you should've heard this sweet-ass tone i got out of my Marshall MGDFX the other day"
i nearly wet myself


epic lulz at marshall mg bashing. ---> EPIC LULZ!
#10
"Awwww they'd make a cute couple"

"probly cuz shes a man and hes gay"

lol
#11
There was this idiot that did the opposite...

Quote by chippythingy
What is the funniest thing you have heard someone say or write without trying to be funny?

in history my teacher burst out laughiin cos he was marking someones coursework and they had written:
'one of the things the romans have given us a loos, this is helpful because people need to put there poos and wees somewhere, and puke after parties'
thats not that funny, until you find out it was in someons GCSE coursework :P

also, in maths today, i was sittin next to a girl in a test, and in her lunchbox was cherries, and they had fallen out, and i trod on one, and she shouted out:
'aarrrggghhh, you just burst my cherry' - the whole class of about 40 people turned around with shocked expressions
then, a few minutes later, she poked me, so i poked her back, but accidentally scratched her arm, and she AGAIN, shouted out
'im gettin really fed up of you nailing me today'

was funny at the time

whats the funniest thing youve heard that wasnt intentionally funny?


sorry.. there was NO NEED for that...
#12
After spilling hydrochloric acid...

"So I just clean this up with a paper towel, right?"
#13
I think it's pretty funny that people call what they see on UFC martial arts OR brazilian jujitsu - cause in reality, it isn't either.
Do you feel warm within your cage?

And have you figured out yet -


Life goes by?
Quote by Hydra150
There's a dick on Earth, too
It's you
#15
"How many calories are in water?"
Quote by metalcore123
I hate trying to cover up my cheese in school because the bimbo next to me dislikes the smell of pure love.

I'm bringing farts back!
#16
"are the songs in guitar hero real songs"

bearing in mind that even if they weren't, the fact that they exist withing the game causes them to become real.
#17
Quote by chippythingy
i have something else to add:
a MUSLIM science teacher said to us:
the magnetic poles might flip and well all die
so someone said: so we could all die tomoro?

and he said:
not if all the muslims blow us up first

we were like, wtf, ur a muslim, and hes like, yeh, but some of us are retards, i was like, wtf, is that racist or not?
Hardly racist. Funny as hell, imo. You should've laughed.
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BASS, MT, AND PIT JUNKIE


#18
"Do sperm have eyes?" to biology teacher
"Is water an animal?" to biology teacher
"Is the Berlin wall still up?" to history teacher
"Bob Marley's still alive, my friend saw him last year!" to a massive reggae fan
"An air guitar is real, my friend bought one off eBay!" to my guitar-playing friend

All from the same farmer guy I used to know.
Gear:
Ibanez S470 (EMG 81/S/85)
Sigma DMC-15E
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Plum Team FTW!

X
#19
From a guy:

What does sperm taste like?
Call me Wes.
Gear:
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Bad Cat Cougar 5
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Weber MASS Attenuator
#21
my sigs and ummm well my friend was counting 4,2,8,6..... and cooked cheese, and shall we form the megazord?
#22
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slipknot is awsome

Quote by Royal Celebi
"Rap is cool"

LOL YOU'RE BOTH INCREDIBLY FUNNY.

Some of these are good though.
ADELOS
POP PUNK
for fans of...

Motion City Soundtrack, Get Up Kids, Jimmy Eat World, Transit, Brand New, Dashboard Confessional, Early November, Fall Out Boy, Jawbreaker, Polar Bear Club, The Story So Far, the Wonder Years, Something Corporate.
#23
Quote by strat0blaster
I think it's pretty funny that people call what they see on UFC martial arts OR brazilian jujitsu - cause in reality, it isn't either.



You my friend have no idea what you're talking about.
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You got to admire people that share their problems over the internet.



Quote by Våd Hamster
....You need a girlfriend whose name doesn't end in .jpg >_>
#24
One stupid girl said: What elements make up UV rays?
And my friend once asked me (in gangster talk w/e) : Yo, do you listen to them metallic? (i think he meant metallica lol)
Gibson Les Paul + Orange Tiny Terror = Sex
#25
how fast is C#?

or "metal is just screaming and banging on a guitar"

and "7 strings are useless unless you like korn"
Quote by pwninator123
EPIC LOLZ FROM THE LEFTY!!!!!!


Quote by death.prog
Ugh...

When I brought up this page, so much fail dumped out of my computer screen and all over my hands, severely damaging my ability as a musician.
#26
"Yeah well fuck you and your shitty guitars, I can play Raining Blood on Expert"
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This man deserves my +1

+1

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Go in peace my son, and teach to the pit dwellers what I have shown unto you.


ಠ_ಠ


XBL: huffy409
#28
I was playing Rise of Nations.. online game
and this guy has this server up called

"noobs only everyone welcome"

i laughed for about half an hour..
#29
Quote by ddrocksv3_4xpk
"dude you should've heard this sweet-ass tone i got out of my Marshall MGDFX the other day"
i nearly wet myself


Yeah well I've had to listen to someone for a long time saying he loves his Marshalls (MG's) and their crunch and deep sound...

Keeping a straight face can be difficult. I would never say anything negative though, just no need. Gear bashing isn't cool.
#30
Quote by Tonehfox
After spilling hydrochloric acid...

"So I just clean this up with a paper towel, right?"


Lol i had a friend who wiped some up using her school jumper, half of it was gone by the end of the lesson :P
#31
or "does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"
Quote by pwninator123
EPIC LOLZ FROM THE LEFTY!!!!!!


Quote by death.prog
Ugh...

When I brought up this page, so much fail dumped out of my computer screen and all over my hands, severely damaging my ability as a musician.
#32
Quote by joeyc
You my friend have no idea what you're talking about.

Exactly how many years of american 'martial arts' have you taken? Let's discuss qualifications, then we'll get into the debate here.
Do you feel warm within your cage?

And have you figured out yet -


Life goes by?
Quote by Hydra150
There's a dick on Earth, too
It's you
#33
Quote by CannonballTA
I was playing Rise of Nations.. online game
and this guy has this server up called

"noobs only everyone welcome"

i laughed for about half an hour..


Very good!
#34
my friends sister bringing home a fish in a bag from a pet shop
"won't it drown?"
#35
Quote by BobMarleysGhost
"Do sperm have eyes?" to biology teacher
"Is water an animal?" to biology teacher
"Is the Berlin wall still up?" to history teacher
"Bob Marley's still alive, my friend saw him last year!" to a massive reggae fan
"An air guitar is real, my friend bought one off eBay!" to my guitar-playing friend

All from the same farmer guy I used to know.


OMG, My mate said that to me like, a year after I'd started playing guitar, he was going to buy one off Ebay too
#36
Quote by twistyzybe
my friends sister bringing home a fish in a bag from a pet shop
"won't it drown?"

I call BS on that one, sorry.
#37
Quote by Tom_hatton
I call BS on that one, sorry.


Depends how old his sister is :P
#38
"Can a woman become pregnant from going out with somebody?" someone in my sister's class seriously asked that!!! wtf is the world coming to?!?!?!
#39
someone of my classmates wrote that
the milk comes from pigs...
Quote by frankv
Tokio Hotel is probably the worst thing Germany has produced since WW2.


#40
Quote by Toast1337
someone of my classmates wrote that
the milk comes from pigs...