#1
My last post was cynical at best concerning a friend's request that I write him a song. To make up for it I present what may be the only pop-rock theme that I've ever written. Like most that I post it was on the spot. Feel free to criticize at your leisure. I'll C4C, but leave a link.

Now, I don't mean to be crude
But this can't be misconstrued
You've got to, let her go

Time and time again
I've gone heart to heart, as a friend
A thousand times it's been
So you know
I'm being truthful as I can be
When I say,

You've got to let her go

Running around, doing things
She'd be crushed if she found, or heard about
All that I am saying to you
Is let the girl have some closure

Because she loves you too much
For it to end, end that way
I'm just trying to keep at bay
The monster it will let out

Let her down gently
It's the least she deserves
She was only ever friendly to me
If not, you'll get your just deserts

Believe me when I say
You've got to let her go
In time enough you'll know
That it's the right thing
Believe me when I say

You've got to let her go
#2
Your song bores me. Other than that, great job! I really see where you're going with it.
Quote by RU Experienced?
Go see U2, then you can say you contributed money to Bono's giant Irish tower built out of the blood, tears, and the hopes of African children.
#3
Your song bores me.


Which is why I don't usually do pop, everything sounds so bland.
#4
Quote by MarbleClear
My last post was cynical at best concerning a friend's request that I write him a song. To make up for it I present what may be the only pop-rock theme that I've ever written. Like most that I post it was on the spot. Feel free to criticize at your leisure. I'll C4C, but leave a link.

I understand this is a pop-rock song, which I'm not too fond of, so I don't mean to sound mean.

Now, I don't mean to be crude
But this can't be misconstrued
You've got to, let her go

Boring.

Time and time again
I've gone heart to heart, as a friend
A thousand times it's been
So you know
I'm being truthful as I can be
When I say,

You've got to let her go

Ok, a little bit better, the "Time and time again" I think is cliche.

Running around, doing things
She'd be crushed if she found, or heard about
All that I am saying to you
Is let the girl have some closure

Because she loves you too much
For it to end, end that way
I'm just trying to keep at bay
The monster it will let out

I'm not sure what you mean by "Running around doing things." Are you talking about your friend or the girl? The second part of this is not horrible, but it could be better.

Let her down gently
It's the least she deserves
She was only ever friendly to me
If not, you'll get your just deserts

I don't know what it is, but the "just desserts" part really gets me even though it's a cliche. I like this verse!

Believe me when I say
You've got to let her go
In time enough you'll know
That it's the right thing
Believe me when I say

You've got to let her go

I think I actually thought of a song like this before. Even when reading it, this last verse tells you it's a pop-ish song. I didn't really care for the last verse.

Overall:

I thought it was pretty boring and cliche. I honestly don't like pop music, and this song doesn't really change my opinion any. It could be a nice sounding song, but that's probably about it. But anyone can find success, so you don't have to listen to my opinion. Just go for it. Btw, the links to my songs are in my signature.


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