#1
This is my first shot at writing a song, let me know what you think

It felt so wrong, are you alright? Is this all ending tonight? The warmth I felt deep inside has vanished without a fight. Moving on is the hardest part, working backwards from the finish to the start. I feel no pain, or misery, just the emptiness that you left me. Day by day the memory fades, into all existence. These trials begin, and where are you? Lost and without a trace. Betrayed by a friend, and now I descend, into this final two weeks and counting.
XAristaX
#2
Not too shabby. I think it would be cool of the end ended like after counting; this could be my end. or something to that extent. If you want it to be a song you need a chorus. Try to keep with the same theme because otherwise it wouldnt make sense. But what you have is nice. Check out my part to a song if you get a chance it would be greatly appreciated. http://ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=899545