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#1
Calling The Pit

I need some help

It's my girlfriends birthday very soon

and I want to write something nice in her card

but different from the standard I love you stuff.

I was thinking of maybe a song lyric

any ideas?

I know this will be ignored

but nothing like **** Her Gently please :-)
#3
What's her favourite song?
Favourite artist?

It shows you know her
2 ducks and a rabbi walk into a bar.
The rabbi enjoys a nice drink and the ducks are shooed out so that health services aren't called in.
The day proceeds as normal.
#7
Now i didnt want to do the favourite song favourite artist thing, i was hoping for some real meaningful lyrics

but she's really into like the Arctic Monkeys & The Killers

so yeah...
#8
"I'm glad I settled for you"
I like to write, and support Chemistry For Improved Life.

Please, recommend me any bands or artists of any genre or medium. Paintings, poets, writers, books, paintings, songs, musicians.

Anything, anything at all. Please.
#9
Meh. Just think of anything. It'll work. Like when your um puts your lastest kindergarten chicken scratch on the fridge.

You already got her. Just feed her some hallmark garbage.
#10
Haiku. Do it.
Quote by jetfuel495
that is one goddamn shiny mother****ing toaster you have there
Quote by Dog--
It seems the top of those waffles are burnt.
Quote by imdeth
The toast has little red arrows growing from it. Nobody wants that.

SHUDDUP AND EAT YER TOAST
#11
Quote by jdmusic
Now i didnt want to do the favourite song favourite artist thing, i was hoping for some real meaningful lyrics

but she's really into like the Arctic Monkeys & The Killers

so yeah...


fucking dump the bitch
SEX!

Now I have your attention, witness the awesomeness that is my sig
__________________

Quote by GuitarManDan15
win

__________________

Free Dean V To Loving Home
#13
"I have grown fond of you"
Kidding

make up a treasure hunt map and put it in the card, and make it lead to a present from you

Its kind of cheesy but If I were a girl, Id like it


Did I just say if I was a girl.........
" Did You know, in Tibet, if they want something, do you know what they do? They give something away."

"Do they ? That must be why they're such a dominant global power."
#14
Don't use someone else's words.
Thats a very retarded thing to do.


Srsly!
Jesus wouldn't give you the sweat off of his balls if you were dying of thirst.
Quote by Code-E
God, you've gotta be UG's only moron!


Quote by magnum1117
that's right,you certainly are UG's only moron.


Quote by necrosis1193
Read the moron's posts, ironically enough he knows what he says.
#15
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=0pXDCTbUtRY <This

(Real song is When you say nothing at all- Ronan Keating, but it is nowhere near as good as this)
Quote by Zangetsu 101
Girl (Ned/chav) annoying me on the bus.

Me "Have you ever bled out your arse-hole?"

Her: Facial expression was priceless - "What??! Noo!"

Me: "Well if you want to keep it that way, **** off."

She then turned away and whimpered.
#16
Quote by ToastYerLicks
Haiku. Do it.


You are my girlfriend
Sometimes I just get caught up
Looking at your chest
Quote by gorecore=me
is a bidet a type of crisp?
#18
surprise her :

"I want you.
I need you...


... but there ain't no way I'm ever gona love you now don't be sad.

Cos 2 out of 3 ain't bad "

May the Force be with You.
Carmel is hawt
#20
Happy birthday love, You don't know it, but I've already given you your birthday gift. Happy STD!
#22
Here's an idea...come up with something yourself. If we come up with something for you, what's the point? It's no longer a gift solely from yourself. Think of something meaningful between you two, whether that is a song lyric, memories of time past...anything really. Right her a poem...play her a song. Whatever she's into. This is something you gotta do yourself my friend. Don't ask for anyone else's help on this. It adulterates the idea of the whole thing.
Quote by PaperStSoapCo
Vagina's tend to be not all that great looking most of the time. It's all... flappy. Looks sloppy.

I'd have to say guy junk wins but not by much. It's like winning a beauty contest against Steve Buscemi.
#23
Fire engines are red,
Police cars are blue,
They're both on their way,
Now I've set fire to you.

And give her a box of matches.

N.B. I know that poem is a rip off. Care? No.
#24
hahahahahahahahahahahaha still laughing
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Thanks for reading this... Ladies
#25
Quote by ToastYerLicks
Haiku. Do it.



Just do a witty haiku. For serious. I've used Haikus in pretty much every card situation successfully (from mother's day to valentine's day).

I don't know about other girls, but usually when guys attempt to write songs for girls, it's awkward.
Quote by CowsWithGuns
I've been busy getting drunk and yelling at endangered species for being pussies. It's a dehydrating job but someone has to do it.
#27
Just write "sex" and let the card do the talkin.
ಠ_ಠ ಠ_ಠ ಠ_ಠ ಠ_ಠ ಠ_ಠ ಠ_ಠ ಠ_ಠ

Quote by Xp3ns1v3
I thought it was illegal for women to use the internet.
#30
Quote by bat69420
You already got her. Just feed her some hallmark garbage.

haha

Some guy in the Pit once wrote:

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I want to fuck you with a rake
Quote by lizarday
oh yeah? well larry king the slayer guitarist owns bc rich guitars. (i think)
#31
Quote by Green_Jelly
haha

Some guy in the Pit once wrote:

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I want to fuck you with a rake


oh god, that was funny
#33
Quote by MightyAl
"You'll do for now"
And a d*ck-in-a-box. Can't go wrong.


Second thought, be really witty and give her a DUCK in a box. You'll blow minds.
Quote by jetfuel495
that is one goddamn shiny mother****ing toaster you have there
Quote by Dog--
It seems the top of those waffles are burnt.
Quote by imdeth
The toast has little red arrows growing from it. Nobody wants that.

SHUDDUP AND EAT YER TOAST
#34
Quote by MightyAl
Get her a cake like this one.






I'd prefer that over a failed attempt at being Jack Johnson
Quote by CowsWithGuns
I've been busy getting drunk and yelling at endangered species for being pussies. It's a dehydrating job but someone has to do it.
#36
Quote by Time Bomb
Cum inside the card.


omg why didnt i think of that :lol:
#37
Quote by Altoidwithmelon
relationship thread


+1 this shits getting old
member #4 of the lynyrd skynyrd fan club!

Hell yaaaaaaaaaa!!!!


Quote by wshnationals
hell yes, redneckrocker2, hell yes.
#38
Quote by Time Bomb
Cum inside the card.


+1

Lyrics are lame, put a joke, make her laugh!!!!
#39
I want to nourish your sweet face with my nuts, soon to be pleasantly gagged down your throat bringing me immense pleasure as my errect penis makes its way up the cavity of your nose.
#40
Your teeth are white like pearls, they would make a beautiful necklace around my pen0r.
Barry White is cooler than you
Quote by Deliriumbassist
I really wish I could say you're funny and cool, but that would be like saying Africa doesn't have a poverty problem.
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