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#1
So my drummer of 2 years, and pretty much best friend, has decided he doesn't want to play the drums for us anymore - he only did them as "a favour to us", and has always wanted to be a guitarist, namely, the lead. Which is all well and good, except Lead is my job.

Now he's a great guitarist, grade 8, but he's by and away the best drummer we could have. We can't replace him, and when we tried, we sounded like 200% worse.

I'm not bad at the guitar, I can play all the solos we have, and have been getting much better, but he's still better than me.

Now, our rhythm guitarist also plays with another band with other friends of ours. My drummer wants to kick HIM out of our band, make ME take the rhythm, and find a new drummer altogether. He says we can "share" leads, when atm I play them all, and we sound great as a group. There is a BOTB coming up, and last year the other band competed in it - it's "their thing". This year, our drummer wants us to do it, meaning the others can't, because of the prize of some crappy recording session. He has managed to cause hostility between like 9 people, and both bands have gone to the dogs.

What the HELL can I do to remedy this??? (And if I try to argue with him on anything, he really lays into me, with all the personal insults he can think of. Apart from these times, we're best friends, so it sucks)

Sorry for the overlong post, and if I sounded like some sort of crybaby, but this has reached a serious point where my friends have begun fighting among each other over petty band politics.
#2
Your drummer needs to grow the **** up.
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#3
The way I see it you got two options:

A) Quit and join another band
B) Stand your ground, bring everyone together, and talk it all out.


That's how I would try. If it doesn't work out, then I'm truly sorry.
xxx

Let the bodies hit the floor.
#4
Well he wants to play guitar, not really much you can do about that. It sounds like him being a drummer is going to be the best option for the band, so talk to him about it. If he still wants to play lead than there isnt much you can do.


The truth hurts, but denial is what kills you.



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#5
He is 19, and the oldest of all of us by a year, and stubborn as a...stubborn reject. Last sunday's band practise was ridiculously tense, and I'm not looking forward to this week's either...used to be highlight of my week

Also I should probably add, the bassist and rhythm are cousins, drummer and singer are cousins, and together we're all like best friends, so "another band" isn't really an option - this has been our life for 2.5 years
#8
He's not going to be happy on drums, you aren't going to be happy in rhythm. Either way you've got atleast 1 unhappy band member, and lots of tension between you two. That's very bad for the chemistry of the band. It would make sense to kick him altogether and get another drummer... But that might not go down so well.
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#9
Quote by Msu_Man04
Tell your drummer that until they can FIND a better drummer, or one of equal skill, things will stay they same.



+1
#10
[QUOTE}He is 19, and the oldest of all of us by a year, and stubborn as a...stubborn reject. Last sunday's band practise was ridiculously tense, and I'm not looking forward to this week's either...used to be highlight of my week

Also I should probably add, the bassist and rhythm are cousins, drummer and singer are cousins, and together we're all like best friends, so "another band" isn't really an option - this has been our life for 2.5 years


Yeah....that sucks, dude.

I think if you're all best friends and apparently somehow related on some levels, it's time to get the parents involved. I'd go with the adults when my band acts wicked idiotic.
xxx

Let the bodies hit the floor.
#12
Yeah firequacker, that's like the root of our problem - now that he's thrown this idea out there like this, there's no way we can be a 100% band unit again. He made clear he doesn't want to do drums, which was actually quite offensive to us, as he said he only did them "as a favour", as if he was just biding his time until he could get the guitar role he's always wanted. But there's no way me or rhythm guitarist will be happy with a change up.
So we're screwed
#13
Quote by Msu_Man04
Tell your drummer that until they can FIND a better drummer, or one of equal skill, things will stay they same.


Yep, either that or it won't work. It sucks to feel tense at practice. Obviously he's making the waves. Just get together and have a serious meeting about it. Worse comes to worse, get together with the bassist and rhythm and start a new band.
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#14
Not an option

Drummer and Singer = the two most talented of our band, at what they do. Our singer is amazing, but first sign of trouble with his cousin, drummer, and we lose him too, and we don't know anyone else nearly as good as either of them at drums or vocals
#18
Involving the adults would be like, an ultimate last resort. Altogether there's 5 families in our band, last thing we need is for them to think we were fighting or something
#20
Quote by Fivebretz
Involving the adults would be like, an ultimate last resort. Altogether there's 5 families in our band, last thing we need is for them to think we were fighting or something



No offense meant, dear, but it seems like you're down to your last resort.

Apparently none of our suggestions are helping.....I'm just so sorry you have to deal with this whole thing. It sucks, it really does.

But personally, the adults would bring order and you all could just get together and talk about it.
xxx

Let the bodies hit the floor.
#21
yah theres no drummers ny where
my hometown and pretty much the surrounding towns theres two drummers
and there in bands
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I've seen Lil' Wayne do some pretty technical solos tbh.
#22
Quote by Fivebretz
Not an option

Drummer and Singer = the two most talented of our band, at what they do. Our singer is amazing, but first sign of trouble with his cousin, drummer, and we lose him too, and we don't know anyone else nearly as good as either of them at drums or vocals


There won't be an easy way out of this then. It sounds like the drummer joined the band last "as a favor". If he did, what gives him the right to push everybody around, you know what I'm saying? Who cares how much better he is then you, or whether or not his cousin goes with him, he's causing the problems. You all have a say. Think about it, if he kicks out the rhythm, won't the bassist go with him?

Sometimes, if you can't work it out, you need to break it all down and rebuild. Explore your options. Try classified site, like bandmix.com.
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#23
Quote by GoddessofShred
No offense meant, dear, but it seems like you're down to your last resort.

Apparently none of our suggestions are helping.....I'm just so sorry you have to deal with this whole thing. It sucks, it really does.

But personally, the adults would bring order and you all could just get together and talk about it.


Well this sunday, we're "talking it out". But I know that my rhythm guitarist is raging at drummer, and vice versa, so there's likely going to be some sort of confrontation, they're both raging *shakes head*
You're right though, but with 2 potential gigs coming up, we really need some sort of compromise. Involving any adults would undoubtably lead to some sort of schism I think.

Last week I suggested I would be happy playing One Gig in rhythm, with drummer in lead, and rhythm on drums. This was alright, till after the practise, drummer told me how great it sounded, and we should kick out rhythm, despite the fact it sounded much worse than usual.

Thanks for the suggestions guys, I guess we don't really have any other option than to get some outside advice from our families or whatever. Looks like my band is doomed though.
#24
Just leave, don't give in to the ego. Get the bassist and rhythm player and form a side project.....

EDIT: Just tell the drummer enough is enough, he messed up the band and if he wants to be lead then he should form a different band.
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#25
Well, I'd say try to talk to him again and if he lays into the insults knock his ass the **** out. You shouldn't let him push you around like that especially if he is supposed to be your friend.
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#26
Quote by Custom-Picks
Your drummer needs to grow the **** up.

QFT. Tell him to grow a pair and stop complaining. If that fails, kick him out, get a new drummer. There are plenty of drummers out there.
#27
If only, we had trouble finding a drummer for a long time. It was actually through joining the band that most of us got to know him. But finding a new drummer now wouldn't feel right, it's been us close friends for so long. If one of us were to get uncontrovertably "kicked out", that would be curtains for the group
#28
get a new drummer and play with 3 guitarists. that will open up a lot of musical doors having 3 axemen. but +1 to the "stays the same until a decent drummer is found" notion.

or add in so many ****in drum solos that the world can't take it and hopefully everyone will be happy.
...Nothing you've ever...
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#29
I think you're doing the right thing. Get your families involved, and make sure everyone is rational before talking it out. Emotions lead to irrationality and nothing will be solved.

If this doesn't work, tell your drummer it's time to stop being ridiculous.

And don't worry if he quits and you're left with no band. You got your whole life ahead, I'm sure you can find some drummers in college!

....not that I know how old you are.....
xxx

Let the bodies hit the floor.
#30
Quote by fretsonfire74
QFT. Tell him to grow a pair and stop complaining. If that fails, kick him out, get a new drummer. There are plenty of drummers out there.


Exactly! There are a lot of singers out there too. Dig deeper in your search if you have to. Like Foible776, IF he was your friend, he wouldn't call you names, and insult you and the rhythm by doing what he's doing. Fûck that asshöle! It's pissing me off just thinking about shíτ like that.
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#31
Actually, you can also tell him to get out and join a band of snobbish older kids.
xxx

Let the bodies hit the floor.
#32
Yeah, at times I feel sorry for him, because he just wants to play guitar, that's understandable etc, but he came on msn one night after not being on in ages, basically told me "here's the deal fivebretz, we're trying something out, I'm lead and you're bass, right, see ya"

Just thinking about that gets me mad *mad face*
#33
....I'm usually a rational person, but it's time to let him go, dear.

He's being a massive moron.
xxx

Let the bodies hit the floor.
#34
Quote by fretsonfire74
QFT. Tell him to grow a pair and stop complaining. If that fails, kick him out, get a new drummer. There are plenty of drummers out there.


How is that any different than what I said.

Voodoo Fest 2008 <3

Quote by DieGarbageMan
SILENCE.

SURSKIT DECIDES YOUR GENDER NOW.
#35
Quote by Fivebretz
He is 19, and the oldest of all of us by a year, and stubborn as a...stubborn reject. Last sunday's band practise was ridiculously tense, and I'm not looking forward to this week's either...used to be highlight of my week

Also I should probably add, the bassist and rhythm are cousins, drummer and singer are cousins, and together we're all like best friends, so "another band" isn't really an option - this has been our life for 2.5 years


so... your like van halen
#36
GIVE HIM LEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Then you go to rhythm and get like a third of solo's, and everyone else keeps positions
If nobody else in the band can do drums at all, you simply HAVE to get a new dummer. Full stop.
I'm Sam
#37
Quote by Its_Rock77
get a new drummer and play with 3 guitarists. that will open up a lot of musical doors having 3 axemen. but +1 to the "stays the same until a decent drummer is found" notion.

or add in so many ****in drum solos that the world can't take it and hopefully everyone will be happy.


This is a very good idea
I'm Sam
#38
You can't forget how that fool talks to him though. I don't get up in my friend's face and drop F-bombs on them. Sh☺t like that ruins friendships.
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#39
Yeah, I think the 3 guitarists could be a great short term solution. But we have 2 gigs coming up, and we'd still have the problem of finding a drummer in 2 weeks
#40
I can see where he's coming from, I'd be pissed if I were the best guitarist in my band but stuck behind the drum set (lol). But to start that after you guys have been together so long is stupid... Looks like the situation is too complicated and your band will fall apart!
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