#1
Well, i really don't like the title. Can't think of anything else. If you someone has an idea please tell me. Anyway, the title is dawn. Hope you guys like it.

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^^idiots

#2
Hey man thanks for the comments, first of all i'm loving your tone, sounds pretty established and most importantly on these forums, stable. lol For me it seemed like you was trying a bit too hard to get some fast runs in here, which is a shame cos the more technical slower stuff sounded better for me, i liked occasionally when you slipped into another mode, and thought you could have done this a lot more to keep the listener sucked in. The spaces where you werent playing highlighted two things, some great sounding drum loops, and also that the tempo was a bit slow for me. Thats all i'm thinking about this piece at the mo, love your harmonising btw, but i'm always a sucker from some harmony lol. Keep it going man.
#3
The shred parts doesn't always fit in, and you have to work some more on your legato. Your picking and fret hand isn't always consistent. Nice melodies. Backing track and harmonizing was sweet. Make it more fluent and it's awesome!
C4C
Please check out some of my original music and leave me a comment @ SoundCloud
(or in my profile!)

Progressive|Thrash|Math|Metal
#4
Yes, following previous comment. Love harmonics, and tone. The tempo at the beggining is nicely calm, i like it too. I don't know but it reminds me autumn sunset at my homeplace
The song is really great, have something, some spirit i can say
#5
Hey man, I like it. The sound is awesome with great melodies. But sometimes , on the first solos, you cut the guitar notes too early for me. I think that with more sustain it will sound better.

Sorry for my bad english, I hope you can understand me .
C ya.
#6
nice guitar playing! i like the intro tapping. the drums were really well done. did you program them? this is very energetic. i think the guitar could be a tiny bit louder. your lead tone is very cool. it's really smooth without getting that cheesy sound that i hate. props. well done. this could use some more bass though. like a very groovy satriani sounding bass track. his bass player is awesome.

good stuff.
Too cool for a signature.
#8
Bloody hell, i heard a song on your media player that you have on your profile, "Those who Fight Further" and thought it was you.
Anyway, thanks for the crit.
I like the harmonies, and your tone is really great, as is the quality. The little shredding part sounded fine, i thought. although I'm not a great shred critic. I think it fits the song fine though. Overall it has a nice feel to it and is not bad at all. Nice song.
If man is 5, if man is 5, if man is 5,
then the Devil is 6, then the Devil is 6, then the Devil is 6, the Devil is 6,
And if the Devil is 6,

then God is 7, then God is 7, then God is 7
This monkey's gone to heaven.
#9
When I clicked Dawn, I started hearing a Trivium song, similarly to the other guys
But your song was good too.
Nice melody.
Some of the parts could have been a bit tighter, but otherwise, it was really good.

-Jayke
Member of the Laney Cult
#10
Not a huge fan of the fast shred parts that are kind of sloppy...I like that in a rock song solo, but in a guitar instrumental like this it doesn't really fit in. I am curious as to what parts you did, and what is a backing track. Very cool harmonies. I like the slower harmonized guitar parts much more than the fast shred ones. Thanks for the crit.
#12
nice sliding in the first theme, sort of vaish. The harmonies sound pretty good, just a little out of sync or something. some of the phrasing is a little off but its sounds like youve got a good handle on technique, i dont know that i like that drum break. This is a great song on a start. when it come back in it sounds like you use a lick from a scale that is either harmonic minor or a mode of it, it kinda clashes. Overall its a great start on a song! I love the themes!

thanks again for critting mine!
#13
Very cool in spots and just a bit off in others. I'd agree that some of the shreddier bits just didn't quite work everytime. A couple of odd notes that seemed out of place and a few spots where it could've been a bit more fluid, tech-wise. But all in all not too bad really. You're obviously having a decent time when you're playing it, as there was several parts that just sounded like you where flat out having fun with it...and honestly that's probably the most important part of playing.
I mean, you can be clean & tight as hell, but don't really enjoy it...it'll come through to the listener. A lot of the more polished elements of your playing, will only come with time...So just keep on playing/recording and have fun with it.


C4C? Pick A Tune....Any Tune LOL



Don
#14
Hi there! I thought the whole entire effort was flawless. I mean, there are probably parts that need to be worked on, but thats all in personal preference IMO. I know everyone has something to say about your faster parts and how they don't always fit, but when you really listen to guys like Vai (Well maybe not Vai LOL) , Satch, Glibert, Kotzen, Van Halen, pretty much all shredders you'll find many places where something doesn't seem to fit, or to you, doesn't seem like it should be there. But the fact is really, that a song is a piece of art. It can be any way you want it to be. And the more perfect sounding something is, the more it sounds fake. At least thats my 2 cents.
I loved it, all the way through!!

Wadester

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=898572
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=899153
#16
Just a suggestion...alt pick on the intro for the 3rd/4th notes.
I get very tense around apples...Well, I get very tense generally. I think I've fallen into the trap of blaming fruit.

Jeff


Peavey Studio Pro 112 for sale. Anyone want it?