#1
Moved From the Pit

So my drummer of 2 years, and pretty much best friend, has decided he doesn't want to play the drums for us anymore - he only did them as "a favour to us", and has always wanted to be a guitarist, namely, the lead. Which is all well and good, except Lead is my job.

Now he's a great guitarist, grade 8, but he's by and away the best drummer we could have. We can't replace him, and when we tried, we sounded like 200% worse.

I'm not bad at the guitar, I can play all the solos we have, and have been getting much better, but he's still better than me.

Now, our rhythm guitarist also plays with another band with other friends of ours. My drummer wants to kick HIM out of our band, make ME take the rhythm, and find a new drummer altogether. He says we can "share" leads, when atm I play them all, and we sound great as a group. There is a BOTB coming up, and last year the other band competed in it - it's "their thing". This year, our drummer wants us to do it, meaning the others can't, because of the prize of some crappy recording session. He has managed to cause hostility between like 9 people, and both bands have gone to the dogs.

What the HELL can I do to remedy this??? (And if I try to argue with him on anything, he really lays into me, with all the personal insults he can think of. Apart from these times, we're best friends, so it sucks)

Sorry for the overlong post, and if I sounded like some sort of crybaby, but this has reached a serious point where my friends have begun fighting among each other over petty band politics.
#2
Hey sorry my last post got cut off.

Classic rock may benefit from a triple guitar thing, but indie is less likely to. It values a more stripped down sound with harmoniser pedals and double tracking providing any necessary overdubs.

You could always use the 2 rhythm guitars to create a chunkier rhythm section during verses/choruses etc and only have one of you providing nice leads and then during solos harmonise. It all depends on how you think it might work (of course you run the risk of drowning out everyone else).

Out of interest, can any of you play something else? If so you could always switch instruments and only use the triple guitars when necessary. Even if it's your bassist who's multi-talented, one of you take the bass for that song.


Try to just keep everything calm and explain to him that he needs to fix everything himself and then you can talk. DON'T resort to arguing with him in the same stupid way he is. That'll only aggrivate the situation.

Hope this works out for you.

EDIT: Forgot to include what I would do with 3 guitars (though I'm more influenced by post-hardcore/emo so this may not work for you).

Rhythm plays the main riff.
Lead 1 plays an octave harmony (or even powerchords or single notes or something, whatever fits best. I usually just use octaves). This guitar could also play arpeggio's of the riff that rhythm is playing.
Lead 2 plays the "real" lead guitar parts.

Dunno if that would help.
Last edited by Heavens_To_Hell at Jul 5, 2008,
#3
inb4rape


er...I am not exactly sure, sounds like a tough situation. Maybe explain to him that he is the best drummer you can find (if you havent already), or have him wait until after the BOTB to switch up the lineup
#4
Have a word with him, if you cant reason with him kick him out. His the drummer so he should play drums and it is unfair to boot someone that hasn't done anything wrong. He is acting quite selfish.
#5
Yeah, we COULD put me on bass, bass on drums, etc, but as it is, all of us are perfectly happy the way things are, everyone and our fans agree we're getting better, we sound great etc.

It's the drummer's stubborness and even intimidation when confronted that has created the problem. It was his idea for the change up, he claimed to have the bassist and singers approval, but bassist has told me he WANTS to stay on bass.

And like I've said, 3 guitars we could probably use as a short term solution, but before the 27th we need to have a cohesive band unit, which we are far from
#6
Quote by Fivebretz
Yeah, we COULD put me on bass, bass on drums, etc, but as it is, all of us are perfectly happy the way things are, everyone and our fans agree we're getting better, we sound great etc.

It's the drummer's stubborness and even intimidation when confronted that has created the problem. It was his idea for the change up, he claimed to have the bassist and singers approval, but bassist has told me he WANTS to stay on bass.

And like I've said, 3 guitars we could probably use as a short term solution, but before the 27th we need to have a cohesive band unit, which we are far from


Hmm...well tell him that there would be no time to be ready before the 27th with a new line up. If he hasn't yet found a replacement then there's no way you could find a drummer and get a full set ready with them before the 27th.

This will buy you some time. Then once it's over and he starts complaining again, tell him to find a drummer of/better than his own talent and then you can talk again. If he throws a hissy fit and walks out make sure to try and keep the singer on your side.

There is also a good chance he'll come to his senses and ask to rejoin if you let him go and just cut him off cold turkey (band wise anyway). This'll make him more grateful. Don't fire him or descend into a slagging match with him though; keep your end of the discussions civil.
#7
I wish it were as simple as just "telling" him to get his act together, but he doesn't work like that. Right now he's adamant to get rid of the rhythm guitar and vice versa. I just know band practise tomorrow is going to end with us being down a member
#8
Quote by Fivebretz
I wish it were as simple as just "telling" him to get his act together, but he doesn't work like that. Right now he's adamant to get rid of the rhythm guitar and vice versa. I just know band practise tomorrow is going to end with us being down a member


Well don't tell him that yet. Just explain to him he doesn't have another drummer lined up before the 27th so he should stop complaining for now and he should just look forward to the gig.

After that then you need to sit down with him and try and talk this out/convince him to find another drummer if he's adamant etc.

It's a difficult situation certainly, I've been through similar stuff. It'll find a way of working itself out.
#9
Thanks heavens, I appreciate the interest you've taken in my problem

I think you're right. We'll tell him he can't come off drums till he's found a replacement. If he's not down with that, then his heart is in his own glory, and not the band. Then we'd be questioning if we even want someone like that in the group.
#10
Hmmm, that's a toughie.
So your drummer wants to be you and he wants you to be the rhythm and he wants the rhythm to be gone, and on top of all that you'll still have to find a new drummer and to make matters worse, you've got a gig coming up. Phew.

Added to this the fact that he becomes abusive towards you whenever you try to put your own point of view forward.

Friend or not, you cannot allow another person to treat you like that.

The guy basicaly has all of you jumping through hoops at his whim, just because he wants to be a guitarist, when it'd be much easier for him to put a side project together with him on guitar. That's what any other musician would do.
Like Heavens_To_Hell says, try to keep things as they are just to get the gig out of the way first, then, after the gig, mention to him that if he want's to play guitar, he should start a side project to do that and remain the drummer in your band. If he reacts by being abusive again, leave the band, take everyone else with you, find another drummer, problem solved.
Last edited by SlackerBabbath at Jul 6, 2008,
#11
tell him to shut up and play drums or he's out, if you don't it's only going to get worse.
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#12
^He's right y'know.
If you let him get away with acting like this, he's just gonna turn into a spoilt prima-donna, (if he isn't one already) and every time he gets the slightest whim to change the band, everyone will have to jump through hoops to please him again.
Nobody needs someone like that in their lives, especialy if they are abusive with it.
Although this kinda behaviour is quite well known among the very rich and famous, at least those that are jumping through hoops for them are getting paid a lot of money to do so.
Is there any reason why you think that you should continue to jump through hoops for this guy? Do you gain anything from it?
#13
Quote by SlackerBabbath
^He's right y'know.
If you let him get away with acting like this, he's just gonna turn into a spoilt prima-donna, (if he isn't one already) and every time he gets the slightest whim to change the band, everyone will have to jump through hoops to please him again.
Nobody needs someone like that in their lives, especialy if they are abusive with it.
Although this kinda behaviour is quite well known among the very rich and famous, at least those that are jumping through hoops for them are getting paid a lot of money to do so.
Is there any reason why you think that you should continue to jump through hoops for this guy? Do you gain anything from it?


+1

Obviously it would be both better and easier to keep everything the way it is but worst comes to worst it's the rest of you that come before his own needs.

If you ARE planning to kick him out however, wait till he's lined up the replacement drummer. Then if he still wants to kick the rhythm out for doing nothing wrong, then you should fire him and keep his replacement.

Obviously that could annoy the singer though...
#14
Ok, so band practise last Sunday...

He played drums the whole time. Not one mention of playing the lead, and was in a good mood the whole time. Before the practise, he discussed with us about BOTB, basically forced an answer out of rhythm about loyalty, and seemed appeased when he told us that we are his No1 band.

Was still kinda weird, but it went much better than last week. He just drummed away, and seemed happy. None of us had even said a word to him. Hopefully he's let go of being a guitarist, and I won't have to use any of you guy's advice!

On that note, sorry for not replying sooner, I've been having Interweb problems for days. Thanks to everyone who has offered me advice so far, I appreciate it
#15
Quote by Fivebretz
Ok, so band practise last Sunday...

He played drums the whole time. Not one mention of playing the lead, and was in a good mood the whole time. Before the practise, he discussed with us about BOTB, basically forced an answer out of rhythm about loyalty, and seemed appeased when he told us that we are his No1 band.

Was still kinda weird, but it went much better than last week. He just drummed away, and seemed happy. None of us had even said a word to him. Hopefully he's let go of being a guitarist, and I won't have to use any of you guy's advice!

On that note, sorry for not replying sooner, I've been having Interweb problems for days. Thanks to everyone who has offered me advice so far, I appreciate it


Ah that's good, maybe he's got the message that it's unlikely he's going to become a guitarist.

Keep us posted, even if it's just by PMs or something.