#1
This is just something my bassist wrote real quick one day, and he doesn't have an account here, so he wanted me to get your guys' critic.


I know we haven't talked in a while
but you are all i can think of
You are all I ever wanted

Lets climb onto my roof
and watch the stars go by
Just me you and moon

I'd do anything to make time stop
This is the moment where i want to be
For the rest of my life

You are so beautiful in the moonlight
Everyone else should be jealous
Because I have the prettiest girl

I know we haven't talked in a while
but you are all i can think of
you are all i ever wanted

I want to hold you in my arms
and never let go of you
until we are both very old

The world is a cruel place
and we'll have to part ways
but i'll always remember that night

Everytime i go out at night
i'll look up at the stars
and know you are looking up too

I know we haven't talked in a while
but you are all i can think of
you are all i ever wanted

We'll both grow old
but the stars will make us young again
when we think of that night

You are the first girl i ever liked
but i never did anything
i really wished that i did

I'll probably never see you again
and we'll probably never have this night
but i'll always have it in my head

I know we haven't talked in a while
but you are all i can think of
you are all i ever wanted
Mitch Hedberg Group
http://groups.ultimate-guitar.com/koalabears/

Quote by Irnmaiden4life
why didnt you just play like crap?
if you need help with that, ask Vincent745



Quote by imgooley
Awe, so cute...

How old are you?



Quote by H4T3BR33D3R


Old enough to yell rape.
#2
I liked the chorus, but I didn't like the three-line structure. The thoughts weren't uniquely expressed, and the triplets left you feeling like the thought stopped before it got good. There was no climax in each stanza, you know?
#3
Thanks, I'll be sure to let him know what you think.
Mitch Hedberg Group
http://groups.ultimate-guitar.com/koalabears/

Quote by Irnmaiden4life
why didnt you just play like crap?
if you need help with that, ask Vincent745



Quote by imgooley
Awe, so cute...

How old are you?



Quote by H4T3BR33D3R


Old enough to yell rape.
#4
this would be original, if it weren't so cliche.
There's a road that leads to the end of all suffering. You should take it.


- Jericho Caine


secret, aaaaagent maaan.
secret, aaaaagent maaan.
#5
What do you think is so cliche about it? So I can help him fix it.
Mitch Hedberg Group
http://groups.ultimate-guitar.com/koalabears/

Quote by Irnmaiden4life
why didnt you just play like crap?
if you need help with that, ask Vincent745



Quote by imgooley
Awe, so cute...

How old are you?



Quote by H4T3BR33D3R


Old enough to yell rape.
#6
how does he do this. and who is writing music for it, you or him? that way i know what i have to end up playing
Quote by Sid McCall
Yeah, they don't arrest/ticket hobos because they can't pay the fines. Then they hang out in the jail all day eating free food. There's no point.


Quote by Brendan.Clace
Oh god...this thread....it is going places....
#7
I'm the one writing the music, so don't worry about it, I'll just show you the next time you're over.
Mitch Hedberg Group
http://groups.ultimate-guitar.com/koalabears/

Quote by Irnmaiden4life
why didnt you just play like crap?
if you need help with that, ask Vincent745



Quote by imgooley
Awe, so cute...

How old are you?



Quote by H4T3BR33D3R


Old enough to yell rape.
#8
This is a tired conceit with bland imagery and an overly-sentimental feel. Very cookie-cutter. Sorry I couldn't be more positive. It's just not there.
Member of the EHX Guild

Yamaha SG500B
Danelectro Fish 'n' Chips EQ
EHX Russian Big Muff
Roland Cube 30
Jake will suffice.

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