#1
because i'm going to the uk tomorrow and i guess he thought it was appropriate. i thought some users might enjoy it because it's pretty funny.


The last thing I said to my teenage son as I put him on the plane forEurope was "Don't lose your passport!". The second last thing I saidwas " Don't lose your passport!". In fact if I was to analyse all thestatements I made to my son in the week before his departure, they'dboil down to "Don't lose your passport!". The message I was trying to convey was that he should not lose his passport. Not that he needed to be told this. He's a teenage boy, and teenage boys already know everything. When a boy reaches 13, the Knowledge Fairy inserts into his brain all the information in the entire universe. From that point on, he no longer needs any parental guidance. All he needs is parental money. This is why a teenage boy who's had a driver's licence for two hours knows that he can drive 267 kilometres an hour in heavy traffic, while devoting two percent of his attention to the actual road and 98 percent to the critical task of adjusting the radio to exactly theright volume setting. If you criticise him, he'll give you a look of contempt mixed with pity. Because you are a clueless old nerd who was last visited by the Knowledge Fairy in 1973, and your brain has been leaking information ever since. And so, when I told my son, as he got on to the plane, not to lose his passport, he rolled his eyes in the way that knowledgeable teenagers have rolled their eyes at their parents since Romeo and Juliet rolled their eyes at their parents for opposing a relationship that turned out really swell except that they wound up fatally stabbed and poisoning themselves. At this point, you veteran parents are asking, "So, when did your sonlose his passport?" The answer is, "Before he legally got intoEurope." He may have set an Olympic record for passport losing,because apparently his was stolen, along with all his traveller'scheques, while he was on the plane. Don't ask me how this couldhappen. My son has tried to explain it to me, but I still don'tunderstand, because I have a leaky old brain. All I know is that when the plane landed, my son had no passport andalmost no money. Fortunately, the plane landed in Germany, a care-freelaid-back nation that's not a big stickler for paperwork. I am, ofcourse, kidding. The national sport in Germany is stickling. So my sonspent a number of hours trying to convince various authorities that hewas a legal human. Meanwhile, back in the United States, unaware ofwhat had happened, I exchanged increasingly frantic telephone callswith th mother of th boy my so was supposed to meet at Frankfortairport, who had reported back to her that my son had not arrived. Themother had suggested several things that her son could do, such ashave my son paged or ask an authority, but of course her son scoffedat these ideas because he is also a teenage boy and did not need to betold how to find somebody in a large, unfamiliar airport. He preferredthe time-tested technique of wandering about aimlessly. His mother,who also has a daughter, assured me that girls don't act this way. Eight fun-filled and relaxing hours after his plane landed, my sonfinally called me. I nearly bit my tongue off not telling him "I ToldYou So!". He told me that the Germans had graciously agreed not tosend him back to Miami, which is good, because he would probably haveended up in Kuala Lumpur. He got a new passport the next day, but replacing traveller's chequeswas not so simple. I will not name the brand of traveller's chequesinvolved, except to say that it rhymes with "Wisa". As I write thesewords, my son and I have both been calling the Wisa people for a week,and they still haven't given us a Final Answer on whether they'llreplace the cheques. It says on the Wisa website that you can easilyget a refund if your cheques are lost or stolen, but in my son's caseit is apparently going to require a vote of the full United Nations. For security and convenience, my son would have been better offcarrying his wealth in the form of cattle. But never mind that. The main thing is, he's safely and legally inEurope, where he and his friend will be backpacking for a month,relying on their common sense. So if there's a war you'll know why.

edit: sorry for the spacing between words deficiancy, thats the way it copied and pasted and i dont want to go thru it all and fix it
Call me Jack
#2
I didn't read all of it, but what I did read was pretty funny.

EDIT: Just finished it. That was funny.


Quote by Kensai
Forget about her, she seems complicated. Who wants a girl who answers in riddles? I'm not the fucking sfinx.

Quote by Rambo-Conny
Woah, woah. Back the hell up.

Polo shirt?

Sunglasses?

Of course he got all the girls, he's Rick Astley.
Last edited by nosushi4you at Jul 6, 2008,
#3
Quote by srv_king


edit: sorry for the spacing between words deficiancy, thats the way it copied and pasted and i dont want to go thru it all and fix it



Then I'm not gonna read it.
#5
Is the son you?

If so then...

EDIT: Read it properly. NM.
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#6
Sounds like you cocked up.
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#8
awesome
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#9
i must admit non formatted wall 'o text is a big turn off...
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#10
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#12
Good story. Very sarcastic.
Lol I like the "The main thing is, he's safely and legally in Europe, where he and his friend will be backpacking for a month, relying on their common sense"
That was a nice touch hahaha
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#14
That was pretty funny.
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#17
haha funny I wish my dad was sarcastic lkike this.... o wait, he is o.o
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#18
My dad says stuff like this to me all the time, but in less funny ways that piss me off.
Quote by Kensai
Forget about her, she seems complicated. Who wants a girl who answers in riddles? I'm not the fucking sfinx.

Quote by Rambo-Conny
Woah, woah. Back the hell up.

Polo shirt?

Sunglasses?

Of course he got all the girls, he's Rick Astley.
#19
By god we must be related some how....that sounded like my dad so much.
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#20
Great stuff .
Don't worry pal. At the age of 18 years old I traveled from Israel to Argentina using Spain as a gateway, and didn't lose my passport .
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#21
My eyes hurt from reading that.
Soon you will sit on the bench
of those who deny I have my soul
You sell a dream you create
Condemned by what you condemned before
Smooth are the words you sing down and high
Underground is your joy your laws
#22
good stuff there, i liked the laid back Germany part especially
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#23


My favorite parts...

"He's a teenage boy, and teenage boys already know everything."

"And so, when I told my son, as he got on to the plane, not to lose his passport, he rolled his eyes in the way that knowledgeable teenagers have rolled their eyes at their parents since Romeo and Juliet rolled their eyes at their parents for opposing a relationship that turned out really swell except that they wound up fatally stabbed and poisoning themselves."

"Fortunately, the plane landed in Germany, a care-freelaid-back nation that's not a big stickler for paperwork. I am, of course, kidding. The national sport in Germany is stickling. So my son spent a number of hours trying to convince various authorities that hewas a legal human."

"He preferred the time-tested technique of wandering about aimlessly."

"He told me that the Germans had graciously agreed not tosend him back to Miami, which is good, because he would probably have ended up in Kuala Lumpur. He got a new passport the next day, but replacing traveller's cheques was not so simple. I will not name the brand of traveller's chequesinvolved, except to say that it rhymes with 'Wisa'."

"It says on the Wisa website that you can easily get a refund if your cheques are lost or stolen, but in my son's case it is apparently going to require a vote of the full United Nations. For security and convenience, my son would have been better off carrying his wealth in the form of cattle."

Win.
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#25
Hehe, that's an article by Dave Barry, written a long while ago. Funny guy.
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#26


*reading*

...


nice one...


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