Hi everyone. Im just getting into writing lyrics and this is one of my first. give me some helpful advice/critiquing. this isnt very poetic looking at other posts, oh well. enjoy.

verse one:
my mind is reeling
thoughts turn over and over
I stare at the ceiling
my vision is blurred


im losing the battle
falling into despair <<< need to think of a good rhyme for this cant hold on much longer Ideas?
to my sanity

please help me, Im so confused
take me by the hand, reveal your truth
my thoughts are clashing,
my mind is crashing
please cut my burdens loose.

for so long i believed,
in my strength, my abilities
but as uncertainty crushes me
I realize, your my only hope

prechorus, chorus

now im crying out to you
crying questions burdens despair
but they all fall back to earth
no answer to spare <<< not quite happy with this line.
please answer me god
I cant hold on much longer
please answer me god.
Last edited by taz354 at Jul 7, 2008,
at the prechorus the third line should be:
cant hold on much longer

and the fourth:
to my sanity