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#1
I was using a public restroom today and had to take quite a large dump. So I was sitting on the toilet for a while, just doing my own thing, when I feel something crawling on my butt. I get up, turn around and look at my ass.

THERE WAS A SPIDER ON IT.

So I freak out and wipe the thing off my butt, and into the toilet where it belongs (with the poop bwahahahaha). But to think it could have climbed up my rectum...

Has this ever happened to anyone else?
#3
How big was it? If it wasn't huge I wouldn't have worried about it.

EDIT: I don't **** in public restrooms though. Never have, never will.
Pissed.
#5
No but when I was young I used to be scared of monsters coming out the toilet and pulling me down...
#7
OMG GREAT IDEA SAPHRAX. somebody create a demotivator about this

a picture of a spider
"TOILET SPIDER - is watching you loaf"
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#8
Happened to me at work. Sucked ass
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#11
Unless you take regular anal punishment, and consequently have the loosest o-ring ever, I'm pretty sure no spider could crawl in your corn hole. So don't sweat that.

I'd be more worried about it biting your ass-cheeks. Dunno where you are but in Australia we have a spider called the Red-Back (similar to a black widow for you stateside folk but much deadlier) and they're notorious for spinning webs across toilet seats then biting peoples butts when they sit down, making for a very embarrassing and possibly lethal situation.

And now you all know...
#13
Did it bite you, it might have been radioactive and hanging around toilets it might have mutated to being a poo spider, making you a walking pooman!
#14
Quote by NowhereOutThere
Literally.


Lawl.
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#17
dude, is that picture a joke? or is it serious cause if it is, how the hell did you not notice that thing sooner!?
#19
Quote by NowhereOutThere
It was about this big


Pretty scary ****.


fuck that.

I'd freak out so damn bad!
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Pooping is well good though, to be fair.


I've got a handle on the fiction.

I'm losing my grip, 'cos I'm losing my fingers.
#21
Quote by saphrax


Toilet Spider is watching you loaf!

haha


I think I did find a toilet spider once, thankfully not while I was using it. He was quickly flushed.


...yes he was a he. All house spiders are, because they're either called Harry or occasionally Boris....
Quote by SteveHouse
Also you're off topic. This thread is about Reva eating snowmen.
#22
That's nothing. I was taking a piss one day and looked down into the toilet and there was a scorpion floating around (dead).

This was in my own house too.
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools
#24
Quote by saphrax
Why does that ring a bell???



boris the spider is a who song
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#25


*Credit for the picture goes to Skunk Buttz. I'm pretty sure he made it
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I saw a penis.

last.fm
#26
actually, i have checked under the toilet seat for spiders for the last three years. one day a female black widow was on our toilet, and i was freaked. thee scary thing is the it crawled upon my leg.
#27
Don't take spiders in toilet very lightly.

There's a breed called blush spider and they are commonly found around public toilets. Those spiders are dangerous as hell and their poison is lethal. It destroys tissues around the bite and keeps spreading. The docs would have to cut a chunk of meat off of you to contain the poison, maybe even amputations.

EDIT: What do you know, this was a hoax. Silly me.
Last edited by PanHead at Jul 7, 2008,
#28
Quote by saphrax
Why does that ring a bell???

S'been said but aye Boris the Spider is a who song. There's also been a Boris arachnid type creature in a Final Fantasy game, so you know

But an amazing amount of people name spiders Harry. It's weird.
Quote by SteveHouse
Also you're off topic. This thread is about Reva eating snowmen.
#29
Quote by NowhereOutThere
It was about this big


Pretty scary ****.


Holy sh** man, if its not a joke which it probably is...
(\__/)
(='.'=)
(")_(")
#30
Quote by NowhereOutThere
I was using a public restroom today and had to take quite a large dump. So I was sitting on the toilet for a while, just doing my own thing, when I feel something crawling on my butt. I get up, turn around and look at my ass.

THERE WAS A SPIDER ON IT.

So I freak out and wipe the thing off my butt, and into the toilet where it belongs (with the poop bwahahahaha). But to think it could have climbed up my rectum...

Has this ever happened to anyone else?


so was your **** corn-ish? solid? what color was it?
#31
Quote by CliffIsAngry
so was your **** corn-ish? solid? what color was it?


I really don't look at my poop most of the time, but it was most likely brown. And no, this is not a joke.
#32
**** you. I'm now scared to use my washroom.
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"ur a fag if you don't pronounce the lightning bolt in ac/dc"

touche. who wuzzit?



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OMG! smile_man, that was amazing.
#34
Quote by NowhereOutThere
I was using a public restroom today and had to take quite a large dump.

thats where you screwed up
Quote by innertom
So much down syndrome

remember UG Community? thought so.
#35
^ I freak out whenever i see one in the shower and try to drown it as quickly as possible. Although I do feel bad afterwards.
Quote by MTVget0FFtheAIR


"ur a fag if you don't pronounce the lightning bolt in ac/dc"

touche. who wuzzit?



Quote by lookie here
OMG! smile_man, that was amazing.
#36
I wouldn't worry about toilets so much as the surroundings of the toilet. Does the place I'm about to **** look like it would have spiders? If you answer yes, then you should double-check before putting your ass on the seat.
#37
Quote by NowhereOutThere
It was about this big


Pretty scary ****.

WHAT THE **** IS THAT ****?!

good thing it was on a toilet, because i woulda have **** myself.

and then died.
This is my signature. There are many like it but this one is MINE.
#38
Quote by NowhereOutThere
It was about this big


Pretty scary ****.



i have those under my bed
Quote by innertom
So much down syndrome

remember UG Community? thought so.
#40
Wow...I have no words! haha! spiders crawling up your ass is a new one, I always had a nightmare that a gorilla was gonna come out of the hole in the toilet and steal my **** while I was taking it.
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