#1
Had it not been for the cruel vacancy of the roads, at any given moment, to decide whether the sun had just slowly descended from the vast dark firmament or would just begin its way up, would have been impossible. Directly overhead it seemed that nothing existed. But from nothing the black night faded into a dark navy. The night, ready to battle the morning, had just passed the darkest it would be until the next night.

He noticed none of this. His thoughts were racing faster than the wheels of his gray Ford pick-up. The truck was old and honest, taking him away from the beginnings of dawn and eventually to a sun set. The gas tank was full. He needed a different sort of fuel. His home simply couldn’t give it to him. The town in which he lived had plenty of gasoline, and an equal amount of warm-hearted people to fuel any person. Not a soul doubted that. But he could not run on someone else’s fuel. Not for long. Fuel on which he hadn’t run was out there, reasons for which he hadn’t lived were out there.

“Am I anyone when I’m alone? No one? Am I five different people, and are none of them among the six people I want to be?”


Thoughts were audibly spilling from his mind through his lips. He thought of Jessica, Nick, Cameron, Emma Lee. To each of them he was a different person, but the same thing entirely. A toy. For that reason he decided that he truly could not be any of these people. The dark sky showed no stars. He showed no signs of slowing. The fuel he needed was out there, solitary and sweet.

From behind the low mountains in the East, a faint blur of blue and gold, though miniscule to the vast night that still loomed, spread from the sun, which could not be seen, and began to creep towards the night. The Ford flew over the road. The night seemed no brighter. He was ready for the beginning of something. Consistency? The morning grew no closer. He was ready for day to start. Personality? He was ready, but he moved slower than the night disappeared.
#2
the first sentence seemed so long it was hard to comprehend.

other than that though i loved it. i like the little fuel 'pun' as well as the personification of the 'navy' night ready to battle the morning.

i really like the "six people i want to be" line.

you definitely have a strong voice in this. lots of great imagery, it's really vivid for me reading through it. makes it easy to relate to. i'm also a sucker for great endings and "moved slower than the night disappeared" was great.

the sentence at the beginning is still kind of an eyesore even after the second read.

excellent otherwise.
#DTWD
#4
Pretty, Dorkus.

I might suggest omitting some of the commas in the first sentence, to make it easier to understand. Like, take out the comma after "roads" and after "up," and it will read easier, in my opinion.

I really do like that sentence, though, so I don't think you should change the content in any way.
There's only one girl in the world for you
and she probably lives in Tahiti.