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#1


Please ignore my face.

The point is, isn't it annoying when people randomly do crap do you (I.E. pouring water on you), when it wasn't even called for?

The only good thing is that I now have to settle the score. And blow it way out of proportion.

Water on me = mustard on her (long story, involves her friend sitting on a mustard bottle and it shooting at a certain someone's face)(she's quite short, especially when kneeling)

My question to the pit is, what are some of your favorite comebacks that you've done to friends for something they've done?
#5
my friend kept tugging on my hair one day whenever i turned around, so i killed his family
Living is easy with eyes closed...
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#6
I may be a scum bag but your a cum bag.
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#8
Well, I put my friend in a grain auger because he called me fat.

Suffice to say, he never called me fat again.
#9
One of my friends used the old "Where you you when they handed out looks?" line on me, and I turned round and said "Further up the line than you".

My finest hour, and it was 5 years ago. Lame.
A dwarf might hear you. What then?

My Music
#10
My friend pantsed me at school once.

She said: "Looks like it's a little cold in here, eh Zack?"
Me: "Yeah, I'd say the same thing for your tits.. only that doesn't make sense, so... your tits are small."
#13
Quote by Mr. Nasty
Turn their parents into chili and make them eat it.

I'm glad that one's out the way.
Quote by fukyu1980
LOL ! muther fuker i was gonna say that LOL!
#14
Quote by timi_hendrix
One of my friends used the old "Where you you when they handed out looks?" line on me, and I turned round and said "Further up the line than you".

My finest hour, and it was 5 years ago. Lame.

You win.
WE ARE THE NIGHTMARE
#15
i am full of wit

great comebacks of mine include;

Sos Your Face
I Had Sex With Your Mother
At Least I'm Not A Women


the list goes on
#16
'Mate, are you gay?'
'Are you fat?'
'What? Shut up mate, when you gonna get a haircut?'
'When are you gonna cut down on the cheeseburgers?'

It's even more amusing since the guy's like 12.

*Sigh* Childhood obesity...
The UG Awards exist only to instill me with existential doubt.


For me, the 60's ended that day in 1978...

Willies. Fuck the lick and fuck you too.
#18
I have my 4-string Explorer bass signed by Joe Satriani.

Friend of mine: Why did you get a bass signed by a guitarist?
Me: Why'd you get your face signed by ugly?


Oh yeahhh.....
#19
Quote by Mr. Nasty
Turn their parents into chili and make them eat it.

You're watching too much South Park, aren't you?
#20
Quote by Rockford_rocks
My friend pantsed me at school once.

She said: "Looks like it's a little cold in here, eh Zack?"
Me: "Yeah, I'd say the same thing for your tits.. only that doesn't make sense, so... your tits are small."

That's brilliant.
The UG Awards exist only to instill me with existential doubt.


For me, the 60's ended that day in 1978...

Willies. Fuck the lick and fuck you too.
#22
"Why don't you get a haircut?" "Why don't you get a nose-job?"

Yeah, it didn't make sense but it felt like win at the time
#23
a short chav says to me

"you should get a hair cut its too long"

"you should grow up your too short"
Quote by Fassa Albrecht
Did I ever tell you how much I love you?

[quote="'[x"]Huffy[x]']My father once said to me "Son, masturbation can stunt your growth and make you blind".

I said "I'm over here, shorty".
#24
This isn't really a come-back, but whatever....

A friend of mine was trying to blow up a balloon, and he was having a really hard time getting enough air in the balloon. I said to him, "Dude, your lungs suck!"
~Gigantic Underøath fan~
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#25
friend: "no, ive never had anal sex"
me: "do your parents know?"
friend: "yeah"
*awkward silence*
me: "...your sister has nice tits."

we didnt hang out for years after that..
#26
Friend who has cancer (at the time): Man, banjo's are so awesome. I really want a banjo.

Me: Why dont you ask the 'Make a Wish ' Foundation for one?

Bit slack, but an awesome burn
#27
once my friend stepped on my shoe so i stopped and he said "come on im not gunna do it" and i said "are u goin to be a virgin your whole life then?" Epic win
#29
Quote by mattallica
Friend who has cancer (at the time): Man, banjo's are so awesome. I really want a banjo.

Me: Why dont you ask the 'Make a Wish ' Foundation for one?

Bit slack, but an awesome burn

Wooooow. I'll bet he kicked the shiit out of you for that one, hahahah.
#30
Haha... nah he lol'd. As far as i know he wasnt on his death bed, and he's a good friend, but it was just too epic to not be said.
#31
"Get a Haircut!"
".. You get a haircut."
"..I have no hair?"
"Hippocrite."


It seems most responses to the thread are about hair...
#33
Why didn't you just fuck her?
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#34
well my friend told me i sucked at basketball but i didn't say anything back
then he was like what no comeback?
then i said if i wanted my cum back i'd get it off ur mom's face
#35
Quote by Magero
I have my 4-string Explorer bass signed by Joe Satriani.

Friend of mine: Why did you get a bass signed by a guitarist?
Me: Why'd you get your face signed by ugly?


Oh yeahhh.....

I like, I like
"The rule of law -- it must be held high! And if it falls you pick it up and hold it even higher!" - Hercule Poirot

© Soul Power
#38
i said "your mum" to my girlfriend. first time i had EVER said that. hahah. turns out her mum was actually dead.... :/ i said sorry but she didn't accept it because apparently she already told me, i think i just wasn't listening hahaha
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A SAILOR'S GRAVE FOR ME
#40
Someone pushed me onto the floor, so i dropkicked a homeless guy with an acoustic guitar and catched the guitar mid-air with my feet then did a ass-kicking, shred-tastic version of Holy Wars, which caused the ground to crack under the guy who pushed me, and he got so scared that he shat his lower intestines out.

Thats a comeback and a half.
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