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#1
- Your name is Vincent Wutpear.

- Your age is between 13 & 17.

Let's go.


You wake up to the smell of bacon wafting through your room. You think, W00t!11!!!1! it's teh brekfist tym!!!1! But you realize that you haven't left your room in four days, so your legs can't handle your fat to muscle tissue ratio and you fall to the ground.

*Sigh*

What will you do now?

A. Yell for your mum to come in and pick you up off the floor.
B. Go back to sleep.
C. Masturbate.
D. Instruct the unfathomable amount of sperm you fell in to make a human ladder that you can pull yourself to your feet with.
E. Masturbate.
life is beautifuuuuooooaaaaaal
#7
B. COME ON guys, seriously.
Military use of children?

Infantry.
#8
F. log onto ug from the floor on my laptop
Quote by Jackal58
I only judge people based upon the color of their skin.


Quote by Kilty Boxers
id like to shave my balls, but i always cut myself and when i do my shaver is like om nom nom testicle skin.
#10
D!

EDIT: Damn!
Quote by SteveHouse
Also you're off topic. This thread is about Reva eating snowmen.
#11
ye .. either C or E
dude ?? have you ever had a casual coversation while having sex??

male:
" so erm .. wot do you think of bbc1 ?"
female:
" AAHHHH SH*T !!!! SH*T !!!!! "

Quote by AAAAAAAAAARGH
Sex is over-rated. I prefer Pokemon Diamond.


HAHAHA ^^^ :P

#12
You start to do the deed when you notice you have nothing to cut down on the friction. Dry-rubbing chafes, you know. You look around the room and see some of the lube you use for guitar strings. If that shit dries on your cockles it's going to rot it off, but you don't care. If it does fall off, remember, UG is your doctor. They'll know what to do.
You start fapping and three minutes later you make a mess, the kind Bill Cosby would yell at you for.
Then, suddenly you remember and yell, "TEH BAKINZ!!!!"
You almost forgot all about the bacon! Remembering it induces the first recorded case of a second orgasm.

What now?

A. If you can fap, you can get yourself up. Get up.
B. Masturbate.
C. Call mumsy and tell her you want upsies.
D. Toboggan on your belly like a penguin into the kitchen.
E. Masturbate.
F. Tell that bitch to bring you your bacon, I think you've earned it.
life is beautifuuuuooooaaaaaal
#16
Well, this morning I woke up, got out of bed, dragged comb across my head. Then I went downstairs to have a smoke..

Oh.. this isn't that type of thread.


....D.
Quote by vintage x metal
I love you =] I can't say I was very fond of you when we first started talking because you trolled the hell out of my threads, but after talking to you here I've grown very attached to you.

Yeah, write to my fanclub about it, honey.
#19
Vincent Wutpear...

I think the age range should be increased from 8 to 65.

I vote.. D!
#23
You take off your shirt and grease down your belly with semen. You start your way to the kitchen. First, you go down the hall, take a left, and you come to the stairs. You say, "FUKKIT, I NEEDZ MAH BEKKIN!" And shoot down the steps at 33 feet per day. You come to a crashing halt at the kitchen stove, but that doesn't matter, you made it! Give yourself a wank on the back! You realize that your p3n0r is still hanging out, but your mother hardly notices; you come to breakfast like that all the time. She lifts you up and says,
"I made teh bekkin fer ye, mah li'l fizzbiffit! Cam an' sit doon on this noice camfy chair."
She of course means your Pokemon chair, it's shaped like Mudkip. You go and sit down, then proceed to eat half your weight in bacon. You realize something when you're full; you haven't wanked in over five minutes! This simply will not do. Now that you have the strength to walk, you go back up the stairs. You see your little sister tried to leave her room, but got stuck and cocooned in the semen trail you left. Oh well. you go back into your room and shake the mouse to wake up your computer. The mouse takes quite a bit of shaking, as it is glued with semen to the mousepad. You wipe some caked semen off of the computer screen and empty out your left sock--it was full of semen! Your hair that goes just past your eyes blocks your vision, so you slick it back with some semen. You open up Firefox, and open the first tab up to pr0nz. Well, it's actually 4chan, but meh. Same thing. In another tab you open up UG and and you realize something....even though you're an '08er, it feels as if you've been doing this for years. It depresses you....but then you realize you still have your **** in your hand. Time for wanking....
Just then, Samus appears out of your bedroom window, she's on the deck of some sort of space ship! She says,
"Vincent Lolwut?"
You reply, "WTF?"
"I knew I had the right house. We have to go, Vincent. Your new serial number is 745."
"But I is teh wankin'!!"
"No time for that."
"But-"
"Look, do you want to save the world or not?"

A. Well, she's hot. Go help her, at least thhere's a slim chance that you could give 'ol righty a break and let a fembot handle the job.
B. Masturbate.
C. Tell her, "Piss off, you bloody twat hancock!"
D. Play it smooth, this may break your cycle of boredom.
E. Masturbate.
F. UREH!
life is beautifuuuuooooaaaaaal
Last edited by SonataFanica at Jul 8, 2008,
#27
F!

This is Larry The If you click him, he will give you magic powers.
srsly.


If you are not willing to die for the perfect s'more, Then you don't deserve a s'more at all.
#32
F! (Because I don't know what it means)
Party
Pants
In
My
Come
Wanna
You?


Quote by M.B.MetalTabber
clothes, you don't want as much detail as emptybullet gave you now, do you?
#33
"UREH!!!"
You hack her head off, brute style. You are now left with new choices...

A. Jack her ship. Go into the final frontier.
B. Necrophilia.
C. Masturbate.
life is beautifuuuuooooaaaaaal
#34
C. Fo' shizz.
Quote by DUP3R
I like my women like I like my Pop-tarts : dipped in blood and covered in a gay man's feces.


This sig was too fucking big. Make it smaller next time, chief.
#35
F!

EDIT: late, i pick B cuz you know how i do
Quote by cakeandpiemofo
Quote by tuwyci
why are metal musicians prone to fatness?
Cause there music is heavy.


Writing music is hard D:
#37
A.
While the wicked stand confounded, call me with thy saints surrounded.
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