#1
(it has three "acts" I suppose)

Oh how awkward it feels,
having my forearms pale
but the surrounding on fire


--

wobbling on the board of maple
the yellow perch struggles for his life
dad takes his knife right up to the gill
and cuts right down to the tail

its fleshless corpse is exposed
still flopping in the afternoon sun

I take my knife and do the rest
slice off the ribs
then fillet from scales


--

dog got into the bowl
of fish heads
His acquired stench reeks
all through the house

mom dumps the rest of the bowl
beneath a rock
The putrid carcass ferments
attracting flies
Lord Gold feeds from your orifices and he wants to see you sweat.
Lord Gold probes you publicly and makes your pussy wet.
Now say his name.....
#2
Quote by lordofthefood1
(it has three "acts" I suppose)

Oh how awkward it feels,
having my forearms pale
but the surrounding on fire

Huge fan of this 'act'. I'd recommend adding a syllable to the third line, it seems a bit abrupt to me.
--

wobbling on the board of maple
the yellow perch struggles for his life
dad takes his knife right up to the gill
and cuts right down to the tail

its fleshless corpse is exposed
still flopping in the afternoon sun

I take my knife and do the rest
slice off the ribs
then fillet from scales

I really can't think of anything to say about this act. I guess that is both a good and bad thing.
--

dog got into the bowl
of fish heads
His acquired stench reeks
all through the house

mom dumps the rest of the bowl
beneath a rock
The putrid carcass ferments
attracting flies

I like the line break you used here. The last line works well too I think.


This piece is undoubtedly quaint, but I like it. The first act was my favorite part for sure. Personally, I would repeat the first part again at the end, but that would just be my style. C4C?
#3
Thanks, it is part of the "what I see, it might contain some symbolism" thing I've been trying
Lord Gold feeds from your orifices and he wants to see you sweat.
Lord Gold probes you publicly and makes your pussy wet.
Now say his name.....