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#1
How do you get a girl you like to stop cutting herself? I like her, and I want her to stop.
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#2
Tell her you'll do it if she doesn't stop?
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#4
cut for her?


seriously just approach her about it and tell her you cant stand to see her doing this to herself
#5
Quote by system_cky
How do you get a girl you like to stop cutting herself? I like her, and I want her to stop.


I went through the same thing. She was one of my best friends too. Just be there for her, and try to convince her its a bad idea. She will stop eventually, when she realizes people care.
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#7
from personal experience.. when you start cutting its hard to stop and even when you do you still get urges... then you end up having to find new ways to fill that void... and now i'm into drug abuse... completely numb right now even...
theres no really easy way to tell sum1 like "hey dude.. just stop.. please.."
theres an emotional issue unless there doing it for attention then they can die but still..
i'm probly going to get flamed for this or whatever but, go for it we've all had problems we just have different ways of dealing with them..

some healthier then others.
as for how i stopped thats well personal...
mostly though.. just be there for them and try and figure out why.. then help them through why they are.. it helps for the most part..
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#8
Just ask her why she's doing it and at least see if you can help her with whatever is wrong and if you can't try to find someone who can.

EDIT: I might get flamed for this, but it's better than abusing alcohol or smoking a large amount.
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#9
I did a little cutting and my GF was a big time cutter and i promised i wouldn't do alot of drugs if she didn't cut, Promlem solved.
Then her dickbag brother moved back in with them and she started again
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#10
If shes cares for you at all go for the if you don't stop I'll start method. My wife had that problem back when we started dating and I pulled a knife one night and started to cut myself after she had shown me her cut ( I never really cut myself just acted like it) and she hasn't cut herself since.
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#11
Tell her to stop being a pussy and if shes gonna cut herself make it count, that actually worked on my friend but im not sure if its recommended.
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#12
well, they want you to pay attention to that action, so just ignore it, you dont reward the behaviour it goes away... pretty fast

pavlovian psychology works on women just fine

EDIT: it can also backfire and she kills herself, but people that insane are just that insane
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Last edited by mosh_face at Jul 8, 2008,
#13
ask her out, and say for you to go out with her, she cant cut anymore and if she does the whole bf gf thing will be on the line.
i had a friend who was a girl who cut herself, i got her to stop.... but it was harder cause she thought i didnt care or that anyone else cared. in other words, shes doing it for attention, good or bad. you need to give her good attention, you have the perfect oppertunity window IMO if you play your cards right :P
#14
Show her the pear...no just kidding

Tell her it's a bad idea and that it only leads to more serious sh*t.
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#15
Buy her steel vambraces.

Edit: +1 to below
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Last edited by Ex'sAndOh's at Jul 8, 2008,
#16
My girlfriend used to cut before we started dating. She said in a letter that she wrote to me that I was the reason why she stopped.

This is what you have to do: Listen to her. Just listen. You don't need to talk, just listen to whatever she has to say. Even if she's mad about the stupidest thing you think you've ever heard of, just let her talk. If you keep doing this you guys'll build the grounds for one of the best relationships you'll ever have.

Just don't lose her like I lost mine
#17
Make her realize it's not helping anything, and that by doing that it makes it worse. Get her to talk to you and open up, become her vent and she'll stop and realize it's better to talk it through.
#18
If you think about dating her, don't.

She's mentally unstable. So keep away from her and suggest her to get professional help.
#19
I had this problem too, and I talked to her about it...

After a while of talking to her, I asked her to stop.

She did stop, and I'm very happy she did.

Comfort her and make sure she knows that you really do care about her, and that you're there to talk to.
Last edited by XEclipseX at Jul 8, 2008,
#20
Everything above is good advice. What have you already tried??

Edit: Except for Vad Hamster's comment
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Last edited by Ziggy936 at Jul 8, 2008,
#21
She is not doing it for attention. I told I was there for her. We are kinda in a relationship... I guess if i hang out with her and tell her stuff. She will stop.. She is doing it because of a past relationship and another reason she won't tell me.
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#22
Quote by Våd Hamster
If you think about dating her, don't.

She's mentally unstable. So keep away from her and suggest her to get professional help.


Whatever you do, DON'T do this.

Do NOT under any circumstances suggest to her that she needs professional help. This will make her think she is crazy, which is not what you want at all. Don't keep away from her, in fact, do the exact opposite. Be her close friend that she can count on.
My Old Progressive Metal Band:
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My New Progressive Rock/Djent Band:
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For fans of Deftones, Tesseract, Periphery, Karnivool, Cynic.
#23
Quote by system_cky
She is not doing it for attention. I told I was there for her. We are kinda in a relationship... I guess if i hang out with her and tell her stuff. She will stop.. She is doing it because of a past relationship and another reason she won't tell me.



coulda put that on ur first post would've helped.. =P

but yeah pretty much almost the entire first page..

including mine i spose.. >.>
Quote by Zugunruhe
"sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will violate me sexually."
#24
Quote by system_cky
She is not doing it for attention. I told I was there for her. We are kinda in a relationship... I guess if i hang out with her and tell her stuff. She will stop.. She is doing it because of a past relationship and another reason she won't tell me.

The fact that she told you that means a lot. She's opening up to you, so try to follow what I said. You'll become her vent, and she'll go to you, and then learn to deal with her problems in other ways after that. I do have experience in this so I'm not speaking out of the butt.
#25
^good, silhouettica
Quote by InvaderTSN
It's the Asian blood in his veins. It allows him to accomplish things normal people are unable to.


Puberty was very vague. I literally locked myself in a room and played guitar.
#26
Not trying to be an ass, but what do cutters gain when they cut? I just dont understand why someone would WANT to cut themselves... :S
#27
Yea telling her to get professional help would not help me. And sorry for not posting that earlier
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#28
Quote by Våd Hamster
If you think about dating her, don't.

She's mentally unstable. So keep away from her and suggest her to get professional help.

Good way to piss her off and kill you..

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#29
Quote by Ecliptica24
Not trying to be an ass, but what do cutters gain when they cut? I just dont understand why someone would WANT to cut themselves... :S

They gain nothing. They just don't know how to deal with their problems, so they inflict it on themselves.
#30
Quote by Ecliptica24
Not trying to be an ass, but what do cutters gain when they cut? I just dont understand why someone would WANT to cut themselves... :S

same as why people drink and do drugs
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#31
Quote by Ecliptica24
Not trying to be an ass, but what do cutters gain when they cut? I just dont understand why someone would WANT to cut themselves... :S

Cheaper than drugs and alcohol. I guess you could consider it something like substance abuse if you want. Plus I mean, who doesn't have a knife?
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#32
Cutting is a response to an inability to control what is going on in one's life. I've been there. I guess I sorta still am. it feels good, to an extent, because YOU decide, and you can make yourself feel something. She's got to understand that she's in control of what happens to her, and that a relationship is something that she can (at least) partially control. sorry if thast incoherent, i'm wasted
#34
There are two kinds of people in this world, those who like the Animaniacs, and those who don't.

But honestly, I knew a suicidal girl, and I told her this, MARK MY WORDS; Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
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#35
call her parents & tell them to find her cutting tool srsly though. you can't make her stop. my former best friend used to cut & the only reason she stopped was because her mom found her piece of glass. & she didn't do it again until her ex-boyfriend tried to cheat on her twice.
#36
Quote by silhouettica
Whatever you do, DON'T do this.

Do NOT under any circumstances suggest to her that she needs professional help. This will make her think she is crazy, which is not what you want at all. Don't keep away from her, in fact, do the exact opposite. Be her close friend that she can count on.


Because cutting yourself is completely normal >_>

Quote by MakeItWitChu
Good way to piss her off and kill you..


Hardly.
#37
You can't make her stop. She has to want to. Just, like everyone else has said, make sure she knows you're there for her.
Don't get mad at her when she does it, and don't give her excessive attention when you find out she's done it. Just say that you wish she hadn't, or that she should have called you to talk instead, and leave it at that.
If you get mad, she'll get upset. If you give her too much attention for it, she'll crave that.
Above all, be the person she can count on...don't get too deep into this unless you can guarantee that you're going to be there to help her through this no matter what.

EDIT:
Quote by ranirhetoric
call her parents & tell them to find her cutting tool srsly though. you can't make her stop. my former best friend used to cut & the only reason she stopped was because her mom found her piece of glass. & she didn't do it again until her ex-boyfriend tried to cheat on her twice.


While this might help, it's not guaranteed, there are tons of other tools. Just because you take away her favorite, doesn't mean she won't find another.
#38
Really, you've just got to make her feel like she has some effect on what's going in in her life.
And the whole cutting tool thing is OK, but that won't guarantee anything, it's easy to find something sharp.
#39
agreed with xcynicx, don't get into this unless you're really serious
#40
Don't leave her. That would only make her feel less in control and accelerate the problem. (Whoever suggested that )

When I wanted to (never did though) I think it was that no one knew me, I felt like I couldn't tell anybody anything. Just open up to her and let her know that you there for her. Listen to her etc.
Just the fact that she has told you is a big first step.
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