#1
In my profile

I would really appreciate if you guy could listen and crit. I can't sing for **** right now, but I'm trying to learn so the vocals are rough. We all have to start somewhere and I guess this is my starting point. I'm pretty happy with the tune myself, but I would love some feedback on this. I will return the gesture of course. Thanks

Lyrics:

Running from mental pain
lost mind, a body slain.

World in chaos, world in fear
do you help? do you care?

We are left alone to reflect
fight with honor, die with respect

closed doors, dying youth
Open mind brings open truth

Take my hand, I'll make you see
Soldiers cry, like you and me

------------------ -----------------
Masters of the new rising terror
will,thrill,kill, you hate forever

Desperate, poor, young restless men
killing poor, when will it end?
------------------ -------------------

A childs face forever changed
a future mind is now deranged

Families cursed, never to heal!
Please justify, what we steal.

A world doomed to seduction
A trial ends in destruction

Soldiers play a twisted game
follow orders, a quest to fame?

------------------ -----------------
Slaves to leaders of hypocrisy
suits, ties, lies is what I see

Payed criminals, that's a fact
bored with lies, it's time to act!

------------------ -------------------

Lack of rage, lack of skill, are you a ****ing slave by will?
Feel the anger growing strong, **** the hate, break your fate!
War is a man made legacy, pain, death and **** to see!
Did you believe, that justice will be? We are humans you ****.
Please rise and act, move and react!

------------------ -------------------- -------------------- -----

Left to the end of days
Broken scripts and endless maze

In a sea of silence lost
Do I get out, what's my cost?

Taken life is on the line
Eyes weak of blackend time

Sorrow filled my soul to end
Sorrow filled my soul to end

------------------ -------------------- ----------

Slaves to leaders of hypocrisy
suits, ties, lies is what I see

Ignorance will be our generations fact,
bored with talk I need to act
#2
Long story short, because I'm to lazy to crit/doing other things. I loved you tone, the clean parts, the solos, sounded great. The heavier riffs didn't do much for me, they were okay, just didn't get my attention.

And please work on your singing fast, if you did melodic vocals instead of a running commentary sounding thing it will be great.
#3
lol thanks for the input man, much appreciated. I'll work on the singing, but it's going to take some time hehe thanks again.