ok, finally it is finished

taken a hell of a long time [started it on 23rd may], but it's here

i've paid attention to a few thing's people have said about it, and yea, hope you all like it

i have an alternate version which is in syballius - this version could be played at a concert. i can put this up if anyone asks

C4C =]

[for previous opinions, see https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=858703]
Last edited by TeraBite at Oct 25, 2008,
cheers for the crit on mine, as I listen:

Intro is good although the A5 you use in 6 doesn't sound quite right to me, I think there's a better chord you can use...not sure what though. Also I think there are times when you're making the chords on the keys a bit too complex. Usually I find it gets quite muddy when you try anything much more complex than a simple maj/min (hence why most bands just use octaves on keyboard strings). This is just nitpicking though, it's a good intro. The choir does need to be just octaves though, maybe with one maj/min third (bar 24).

The thing that gets me here is that you built it up then just let it all go silent. Personally, I'd have a shorter pause in bar 37 (maybe 2/4) then a big staccato chord hit every first note (e.g. first note in bars 38, 39, 40 etc followed by 3 rests). To be honest I'm not really sure what you're going for with this riff...I think it'd sound better if you just went into the riff you have at 42 after the big epic intro, as you develop it much better. The riff before this one is good, just kinda aimless, whereas the chuggy riff sounds really well thought out and leads nicely into the next section.

At 54 the transition is slightly jerky but the idea is good. I really like the tension with the first A# in bar 54. Maybe develop that tension a little more - use harmonic minor or just play around with that A# note more in the next few bars. I really like the choir/timpani stuff you have going on in the post chorus as well...nice and epic

The acoustic stuff comes at a good time. It's relaxing and builds up nicely. I would love to see a nice slow bend when you bring the distortion in though, it's crying out for it! Good harmonising though, sounds quality.

The switch to the next section is probably the best part of the song so far. Can imagine it'd work great with vocals. It's nice to have the focus more on the guitars. 130 is brilliant and I love where this is going. At 134 the keys are way too loud though, tone that down a bit. It's only now I've noticed how good your drum stuff is - it's perfectly written, not too over the top and just fits perfectly.

The solo fits quite nicely although I feel you should harmonise more rarely. It's not as special if every note is harmonised, so maybe tone that down. Other than that it's a pretty good solo - although I'm not a huge fan of the sweeping section. The song is starting to sound very Nightwish-esque, focussed heavily around the keys and that grand epic feel. It's working!

I assume the harmonic squeals sound a lot better out of guitar pro - but it's a good way to lead into the next section, sounds very like something Avenged Sevenfold would do here. Great chords in the next acoustic section but I feel you could do more with the solo. Focus more on the melodies and try not to stick to quarter notes. A slower solo with lots of vibrato and a few quick scalar runs/sweeps would sound really good here - just play about with the scale and see what you get.

Maybe put some piano in doing a similar kind of thing at 188? The idea is good but you're using a lot of strings so it'd be good to mix it up. Re-intro is very nice and a good way to end the song, although again with the empty bar. Either have a keyboard going over it, or a bass fill/drum roll before the final hit. It just drops every emotion you've been building up over the past 200 bars if you do nothing lol.

Yeah, basically it's good and with a few tweaks I think it'd be awesome. The keys at times can be a bit overpowering; try and make the chords a bit simpler in places (root, 5th and one other tone at most really). The first riff after the intro either needs to be expanded or cut completely. Oh and get rid of the two empty bars. There really isn't that much bad about it though - I always do the lengthy crit thing, they're all just suggestions anyway. Keep it up mate, good to hear the improvements