#1
crit4crit of course


Furniture on the lawn,
Who knew that I’d be in the wrong?
Contemplating everything,
As the memory never starts to….

Fade,
Fade,
Fade,
FADE AWAY!

That song reminds me of a better place,
That I don’t wanna be,
Simple misery,
Fades to eternal apathy.

You tell me to shut my mouth,
While my ears sound out hypocrite,
I see the stare,
Standing there,
I know it haunts you everywhere.

Maybe there’s some good in you,
But I just can’t be ****ed to find it,
After all, that’s how all this **** started.

That song reminds me of a better place,
That I don’t wanna be,
Simple misery,
Fades to eternal apathy.

You tell me to shut my mouth,
While my ears sound out hypocrite,
I see the stare,
Standing there,
I know it haunts you everywhere.
I'm here to help

Quote by Jimbleton
ok, as usual pit is being very unhelpful except andychalmers, so im gonna go post this someplace else


And a master of storytelling...

Quote by Jackolas
andychalmers102, that story is awesome.
Last edited by andychalmers102 at Jul 10, 2008,
#2
Pretty good.

The fade fade fade is kinda weird to me, If it's got some great music to go with it, I'm sure it will rock.

Other than that, the Line. "I see the stare" doesn't make any sense to me. I double checked the definition of stare and didn't see anything that could stand around and haunt people, so maybe that is a typo ?
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