#1
In a room of shattered glass
My body starts to shake
My head is spinning fast
Unsure if im awake.

I need to flee this place
I've got to break free
Laying on my face
Only darkness here to see.

Clouded by my thoughts
A stranger to this land
I'm feeling so distraught
I wish I could have ran.

Noone knows this **** I feel
This hatred deep inside
I've got to find my own way out
Through all the pain and lies.

I look back on my memories
When everthing was fine
That was far to long ago
Its all been left behind.
#2
Quote by SynySter SlaSh
In a room of shattered glass
My body starts to shake
My head is spinning fast
Unsure if im awake.

I love this start, it's very good and flows well.

I need to flee this place
I've got to break free
Laying on my face
Only darkness here to see.

Again this flows well, but I read it as "lying on my face". In my head that flows better, something to take into consideration maybe.

Clouded by my thoughts
A stranger to this land
I'm feeling so distraught
I wish I could have ran.

I love these first two line with the use of metaphors, but the second half kills this stanza for me. It just seems quite blunt compared to the rest, but that might just be me.

Noone knows this **** I feel
This hatred deep inside
I've got to find my own way out
Through all the pain and lies.

I am NOT a fan of this stanza. To me it feels really like everyother screamo/hardcore/emo lyrics I see. I would work on this.

I look back on my memories
When everthing was fine
That was far to long ago
Its all been left behind.

This is a great stanza, it flows well and I just enjoyed it.


if you could to a C4C I'd appreciate it
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I once wore that shirt and it got me so many bitches my penis got a rash from gropage.
#3
please read the rules in the announcement at the top of this forum.
then repost with a proper title.

*reported*
Meadows
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I release my inner liberal every morning when I take a shit.
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I wont be like those jerks who dedicate their beliefs to logic and reaosn.