telemetal
Moosey McSmirnoffhead
Join date: Mar 2008
488 IQ
#1
Just something I wrote in a few hours, nothing amazing, but its my first song, so id just like to know if I'm on the right track or if I'm ****.
Attachments:
Metalcore Song.zip
haz_uk
UG's Tremonti
Join date: Dec 2005
415 IQ
#2
it's too steady and quite boring. seems kinda stuck in the pentatonic box and some parts aren't really musical.
telemetal
Moosey McSmirnoffhead
Join date: Mar 2008
488 IQ
#3
fair enough, though id didn't actually base it on a pentatonic, just to let you know, it was A natural minor
Slaytanic1993
Wakka wakka
Join date: Jun 2007
2,620 IQ
#4
This kind of has a thrashy feel

But, it's pretty solid, you just need to change up the part at :43.

Like add some hammer-ons, trills, pinches, etc.
R.I.P. Charles Michael "Evil Chuck" Schuldiner
B. May 13 1967 - D. December 13 2001

Quote by eggsandham2
cuz ppl hate how power metal they are cuz they think its "gay" or w.e, which is immature and dirogitory
telemetal
Moosey McSmirnoffhead
Join date: Mar 2008
488 IQ
#5
so, slaytanic, just add some pinches and other fancy stuff to the chorus riff bit? what about the solo, was it all right?
Slaytanic1993
Wakka wakka
Join date: Jun 2007
2,620 IQ
#6
It was a fair bit alright, nothing "" but nothing really crap.
R.I.P. Charles Michael "Evil Chuck" Schuldiner
B. May 13 1967 - D. December 13 2001

Quote by eggsandham2
cuz ppl hate how power metal they are cuz they think its "gay" or w.e, which is immature and dirogitory
telemetal
Moosey McSmirnoffhead
Join date: Mar 2008
488 IQ
#7
yea i wasn't expecting perfection or anything but as long as people think its a solid solo im happy, since its the first i wrote
octavarium78
BACONATOR
Join date: Feb 2008
135 IQ
#8
I liked the solo, and the rest was alright.
and in the chorus try to add something with the rhythem guitar.. it's just kinda boring like that.
but over all it was 3.5/5
ADD MY -CORE BAND!
www.myspace.com/efakaz

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Quote by T Man Prime
Ok everyone, who do you think is the heaviest band? Personally I think As I Lay Dying is the heaviest
telemetal
Moosey McSmirnoffhead
Join date: Mar 2008
488 IQ
#9
Octavarium, what would you mean by something, the same kinda thing that Slaytanic suggested?