#1
Not sure how true these are but I thought you guys might like them


These are from a book called Disorder in the Court. They are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters - who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. Don't miss the last one!

Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
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Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
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Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?
*******************************************************
Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.
*******************************************************
Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?
A: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.
*******************************************************
Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or practice the occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.
*******************************************************
Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
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Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?
*******************************************************
Q: Mrs. Jamison, were you present when your picture was taken?
*******************************************************
Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?
*******************************************************
Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?
******************************************************
Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
*******************************************************
Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this individual a male, or a female?
*******************************************************
Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice, which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
*******************************************************
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All of them, all my autopsies are usually performed on dead people.
*******************************************************
Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.
*******************************************************
Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
******************************************************
Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
*******************************************************
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere. "
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Wiggy = legend.

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#2
That is terrible in a funny way.

the last one is great (it could actually be true)
#3
lol
Your dreams are all out of focus;
Knock you up when you're feeling down.
And all the world feels so unreal...


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#5
some of those aren't really funny..
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#6
lol at the oral one
Clocks tick. Your days are numbered in low digits.
You look suspicious - suspect niggas is bitches,
Get chopped up, grade-A meat, somethin' delicious
#7
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#12
the last one was the best
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#13
Quote by wiggy1988

Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere. "


HAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHA
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#14
LMFAO i loved them all...

TS you made my day!

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#17
lol, some of those were great, some werent
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Awww, thanks Frenchy

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