#1
i wrote this a long time ago and just found it. i dont think ive put it on here. can you please give me adivice.

Feels like Yesterday

Am, C, Dm, Em

V1
there’s a feeling in the air
we're all wishing you were there
empty spaces in our heart
I don’t think I can live apart

V2
it all happened so quick
one day healthy one day sick
no one could have expected this
that we'd have a final kiss

Ch
Feels like yesterday we were walking holding hands
you’re the only one who could ever understand
Feels like yesterday you said I could touch the sky
to this day I know you never told a lie

V3
Grasping your hand with concern
This is really starting to burn
The pain inside is much too great
I don’t know why I deserve this fate

Ch
Feels like yesterday we were walking holding hands
you’re the only one who could ever understand
Feels like yesterday you said I could touch the sky
to this day I know you never told a lie

V4
as I sat by your bed
slowly rubbing your head
I could feel you fading away
all we can ever do is pray

Bridge
How did this happen
what did I do
I cant believe this
I need you


Ch
Feels like yesterday we were walking holding hands
you’re the only one who could ever understand
Feels like yesterday you said I could touch the sky
to this day I know you never told a lie
#2
wow. dude, im almost in tears. those are some beautifully sad lyrics...

btw, why does almost every sad song have a Dm chord in it somewhere?
Epiphone SG - modded like crazy and sent through hell and back
Crate Flexwave 120 watt half stack -

R.I.P. Dimebag Darrell
#3
Dude, thats an awesome piece of work you have here, i don't think it needs improving. A thumbs up from me my friend.
#4
Haha, D minor is just the 'saddest of all keys.'

Jeez, that was amazing. Your brilliance makes me feel so inadequate. I look forward to reading more of your stuff!
#5
I'm going to differ from the other crits...
I didnt really like this piece, the ryhmes seemed forced and cliche...and the flow could have been better...
but the thing is the story behind the song seemed good and deep, like this could become a powerful piece if u developed it more...i dunno it seemed sort of rushed...Im not gonna do a full crit because thats basically the issue in most of the verses.

Feels like yesterday we were walking holding hands
you’re the only one who could ever understand
Feels like yesterday you said I could touch the sky
to this day I know you never told a lie

this is proably my fave bit.. although the second line was cliche, it was a nice way to end the piece i like the repetition and i can relate to the 'seems like yesterday'
there are some other good sentences too.'Grasping your hand with concern' was good and emotive

well yea...basically what i said in the first part of the crit, this piece just seems a bit rushed and cliche

Im sorry if this sounded degrading or anything, but i wanted to provide a different angle than the other crits...could u crit my piece?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=910088
thx