#1
Yes, I meant to spell the title that way. The song is about sacrifice for what you believe in when no else wants to.

(verse)
It takes a man to stand on his two feet
It takes a life for it to waste away
So how much can a man lose, before he's really lost it all?
We all have the fear, but who has the gall?

(pre-chorus)
I will fall,
and feel the earth
I will stand,
and feel my worth
I will fly,
And recount my birth

(chorus)
And I declare,
I AM, I AM
And I declare
I AM

(verse)
From the dust, I adjust my face
My lips part to the taiste of the blade
So what is persecution with my clean sleight?
Innocent at first stepping up to the plate

(bridge)
If I'm a martyr now, I'm a martyr then
I will die for what I beleive in
Take me instead!
It's all for Him
Take me instead!
It's all for Him
Run!
-----------------------------------------------------------
Simply, the world was too small for a man of his ambition.
Quote by ifeastonbums
GuitarSymphony you are my hero!
Last edited by GuitarSymphony at Jul 15, 2008,
#3
Oh gosh, I can imagine this would go wonderfully as a power metal song.
I would work on spelling the words you do mean to spell right correctly. But it's not a big deal, really, because you nailed the whole message down!!

You would be doing this site a favor by keeping your songwriting up because I haven't read a single piece on here like what you have here. It's very refreshing stuff.

That's mine below; it's a bit different from yours, haha. But, I always appreciate critiquing!!
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=909791
#4
Very nice. I was thinking thrash metal when I read it, but it would make a great power metal song also.
Life Sucks, And Then You Die

So make the very best of it


My Last.fm Profile

Please check out my Youtube, and friend me if you like it. I do C4C, and I gladly will crit anything if you ask me.


I <3 My Xiphos
#5
The rhyming is irritating and way too over-the-top. The just bothered me the most. Content wise, it's boring. It gets the point across, but unless you have an interesting melody/harmony thing going on, I wouldn't listen to it.
#6
Kinda drab from a fellow songwriters point of view. The message is overplayed in a lot of things today. Not a bad message though. You may wanna spend a little more describing to the listener whats going on.
#7
Thanks everyone for what comments you have shelled out.
I'd like to point out, it isn't a metal song, but a radiohead-esque dark acoustic song.
I was unsure whether I was done with it at first because I felt maybe a bit more variety should be added in. You're comments affirm I should include more verses that add a little bit more variety to the story.
Run!
-----------------------------------------------------------
Simply, the world was too small for a man of his ambition.
Quote by ifeastonbums
GuitarSymphony you are my hero!