#1
crit4crit as always

Your spirit emerged,
From a sea of distaste,
A pool of demise,
Are you there?
Can you hear me?

Now we initiate,
Our fall from grace,
The slowest decline,
The world has ever seen.

And you sit around,
And stare at the dots,
Creating the shapes,
On your television screen.

So this is the call,
The rise and the fall,
The peak of it all,
Can you see?
Can you feel me?

Just try,
And you can get to see,
All that you believe,
Flesh and bone,
Things unknown,
Only you can see.

Don’t open your mouth,
Take a look around,
And try to foresee,
The canons are ready.

The pain explodes,
Your vision corrodes,
The Air that we breathe,
Comes with no warranty.

Your lifeline is dead,
It ****ed with your head,
No one can explain,
This sensation to me.

So this is the call,
The rise and the fall,
The peak of it all,
Can you see?
Can you feel me?

Just try,
And you can get to see,
All that you believe,
Flesh and bone,
Things unknown,
Only you can see.

As the world caves in,
The sky turns grey,
The moon turns to black,
Our hope fades away,
And the love remains,
It’s the one indestructible,
Thing on this earth,
Because the love is untouchable.

Just try,
And you can get to see,
All that you believe,
Flesh and bone,
Things unknown,
Only you can see.
I'm here to help

Quote by Jimbleton
ok, as usual pit is being very unhelpful except andychalmers, so im gonna go post this someplace else


And a master of storytelling...

Quote by Jackolas
andychalmers102, that story is awesome.
#2
i enjoyed tis fairly well...good flow to me...i liked it...good job
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1998 Squier Affinity Stratocaster

Amps:

Peavey Valve king 112

Money is just paper, but it affects people like poetry.