#1
Her.


When my heart is cluttered
My mind ain't at peace
And I'm clutching at things
I really shouldn't be

But oh her body's like an hourglass
And the sand is falling so far but so close
to me and to her but I try and
I can't catch a thing

And I love it when she smiles
But her tears are a shotgun to my veins
Shooting blackness and darkness
And every one of my comforts only brings me pain

But through the skylight

I glimpse the starlight

And the far light

Of my dark satellite

#2
I really like the 'And the sand is falling so far but so close.'
It's really poetic and the last part is like 'starlight, starbright, first star I see tonight'-esque. It's not a bad thing. It kind of made me smile.

I'm not sure what this would sound like but in general, you only need a little tweaking to perfect the flow. Anyway, hope this helped; but really, this doesn't need much help! Keep it up.

That's mine below, if you care to read it. Your input would be awesome.
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=911488