#1
This songs gonna be brutally heavy and beautifully melodic at the same time, all performed with stunning technicality. Beleive all the hype you've heard about this band you've never heard of before.

I was thinking I'd rip off some metallica riffs and scream in the verse and sing real girly like in the chorus, that'd be an original idea. Its written about my ex girlfriend so its really deep, she dumped me after I gave her the best week and a half of my life.


The burning fire of my burning hatred burns really bright
Like a really bright thing like a star
Only closer than a star, like the sun how its a star only close
but not the sun more like a really bright, really close star

Chorus:
Don't really like you
in fact I hate you
the burning fire of my hatred hates you
don't even look at me
hate when you look at me
coz your lazy eye makes me laugh when you look at me

breakdown:
I don't need you any more
I don't need you any more coz I got wireless internet on my laptop now
I don't love you any more
I don't love you but I might go out with you again if that girl down the street isn't keen

repeat chorus
#2
The first bit sounds like We Like The Moon, to be perfectly honest with you.
My gear:
Ibanez RG350DX - Vintage VR3000 - Squire Telecaster
Marshall 15W
RAT distortion pedal - Boss Compression\Sustain pedal
#4
Quote by nick_kcin
This songs gonna be brutally heavy and beautifully melodic at the same time, all performed with stunning technicality. Beleive all the hype you've heard about this band you've never heard of before.
you've convinced me.
i believe, i believe!

Quote by nick_kcin
I was thinking I'd rip off some metallica riffs and scream in the verse and sing real girly like in the chorus, that'd be an original idea. Its written about my ex girlfriend so its really deep, she dumped me after I gave her the best week and a half of my life.
i can see how such powerful inspiration made this really deep.
a whole week and a half, you say? little wonder it came out so deep!



The burning fire of my burning hatred burns really bright
wow, that line really burns. like a fire or something hot!
Like a really bright thing like a star
brilliant!
Only closer than a star, like the sun how its a star only close
yeah. exactly the same ... only different!
but not the sun more like a really bright, really close star
wow, an unexpected turn. for a moment i thought you were talking about the sun
this kind of thing really makes for great drama!


Chorus:
Don't really like you
i really like the way you used really 4 times in the verse,
then carried it over to open the chorus.
that really makes this really real!

in fact I hate you
boom HEADSHOT!
the burning fire of my hatred hates you
what a burn!
don't even look at me
wow! you really told her, didn't you!
hate when you look at me
i can really feel the hate!
coz your lazy eye makes me laugh when you look at me
drama AND comedy? you're like Neil Simon, only these are lyrics instead of a play!

breakdown:
I don't need you any more
i'm really feelin this!
I don't need you any more coz I got wireless internet on my laptop now
the wireless internet / laptop thing really connects this!
I don't love you any more
really powerful!
I don't love you but I might go out with you again if that girl down the street isn't keen
an expression like this shows how really real you can make things!

repeat chorus
great idea!
the chorus was really good the first time round.
the second time it will be really, really good!

WotW !!!
Meadows
Quote by Jackal58
I release my inner liberal every morning when I take a shit.
Quote by SK8RDUDE411
I wont be like those jerks who dedicate their beliefs to logic and reaosn.
#6
first verse confused me
i really don't what you're trying to say
and in fact i don't like it all of it
i know it can be a relief to write your hatred down
but you try to be a bit more poetic about if you want to write a song or poem or whatvr about
i'm sorry if i sound mean
but i just don't like it
Here my voice goes to ones and zeros...
#7
Quote by nick_kcin
This songs gonna be brutally heavy and beautifully melodic at the same time, all performed with stunning technicality. Beleive all the hype you've heard about this band you've never heard of before.

I was thinking I'd rip off some metallica riffs and scream in the verse and sing real girly like in the chorus, that'd be an original idea. Its written about my ex girlfriend so its really deep, she dumped me after I gave her the best week and a half of my life.


The burning fire of my burning hatred burns really bright
(I think you overuse 'burn' too much. Try using a thesaurus; It really adds so much pizazz to your work.)
Like a really bright thing like a star
(Avoid using 'thing'.)
Only closer than a star, like the sun how its a star only close
(I don't really understand this, but it sounds cool nonetheless)
but not the sun more like a really bright, really close star
(...What?)
Chorus:
Don't really like you
in fact I hate you
the burning fire of my hatred hates you
(Your hatred seems like a very hateful person. Very angry... I like it.)
don't even look at me
hate when you look at me
coz your lazy eye makes me laugh when you look at me
(You shouldn't laugh at people for lazy eye, it's not nice.)

breakdown:
I don't need you any more
I don't need you any more coz I got wireless internet on my laptop now
(I really don't like this line.)
I don't love you any more
I don't love you but I might go out with you again if that girl down the street isn't keen
(Nor this one.)

repeat chorus


All of my thoughts are in parentheses.

You conveyed your idea in lyrical form and succeeded. I wasn't really feeling it though.
It all makes sense
We're capable of beauty
Through sounds that make on cringe
The dogs only hear us now

#8
lol has NO ONE realised this is a pisstake ahahahaha
"Their eyes, black in kingdoms of gold, like the rocks of this desert, where we wander in circles, tails up the ass of time..."
#11
Quote by AtReYuRoCk
first verse confused me
i really don't what you're trying to say
and in fact i don't like it all of it
i know it can be a relief to write your hatred down
but you try to be a bit more poetic about if you want to write a song or poem or whatvr about
i'm sorry if i sound mean
but i just don't like it


aw ****in hell
I failed at life again

my next masterpiece will be titled 'Death wont die till you're dead from deaths deadliness' and will be directed at AtReYuRoCk
#12
Quote by nick_kcin
aw ****in hell
I failed at life again

my next masterpiece will be titled 'Death wont die till you're dead from deaths deadliness' and will be directed at AtReYuRoCk


Oh ****, an Atreyu fan just said your lyrics sucked....