#1
Happiness is so hard to find
In this drought of dreams come true
This thing in my brain is killing me
These thoughts in my mind
Are bringing me misery
The things I see in my dreams
Keep haunting me I get so mad yet I feel so sad

Hell valley blues
This place is just a big dry whole
Of sand and dreams that won’t come true
If the memories don’t take my mind
I know the boredom will

Uncertainty it’s driving me mad
Don’t believe your dreams here
You’re just tormenting yourself
Every day so dry and hot
The depressed gray sky makes you wish it would rain but it never dose
So stuck in this drought you know
And happiness or seeds you plant just won’t grow

Hell valley blues
This place is just a big dry whole
Of sand and dreams that won’t come true
If the memories don’t take my mind
I know the boredom will
#2
I was drawn to the title of this, of course.

'In this drought of dreams come true' was my favorite line. Overall, this was a pretty strong piece; it felt a little rambling at times but that's alright. This could be solved if you incorporated more than just a narrative approach; but really I think it's just personal preference.

In this drought of dreams come true.

If you could, please critique mine!!

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=911698
#3
Quote by Gregoriose
Happiness is so hard to find
this drought of dreams come true
(I like this line)
This thing in my brain is killing me
These thoughts in my mind
Are bringing me misery
The things I see in my dreams
Keep haunting me I get so mad yet I feel so sad
(I think a line break here would make it a little easier to read)

Hell valley blues
This place is just a big dry whole
Of sand and dreams that won’t come true

(I'm loving this metaphor)
If the memories don’t take my mind
I know the boredom will
(We've all been there before. )

Uncertainty it’s driving me mad
Don’t believe your dreams here
You’re just tormenting yourself
( )
Every day so dry and hot
The depressed gray sky makes you wish it would rain but it never dose
(I think a line break would do wonders here)
So stuck in this drought you know
And happiness or seeds you plant just won’t grow
(I really like this line)

Hell valley blues
This place is just a big dry whole
Of sand and dreams that won’t come true
If the memories don’t take my mind
I know the boredom will


I really enjoyed reading/critting this. It was very well done, but sort of hard to read in some places (I've marked them). Excellent job.
It all makes sense
We're capable of beauty
Through sounds that make on cringe
The dogs only hear us now

#4
Good title, Unfortunately I think that was the only good thing about the song. I guess it just didn't do it for me.
#5
my personal advice: dont rhyme mad with sad, it just seems to kiddy. I've always hated it.
Quote by dcdossett65
Life is too short to worry about this crap.

Who.

Cares.