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#1
Today after work, I went to the gym to workout. after running a few miles I walked over to this isolated part of the place to refill my water bottle.

This woman was on these workout machines and couldn't figure out how to use them so she asked me for help. Being the considerate young man that I am, I obliged.

I then started doing some pull-ups and when she started in the same area she was in.

It was totally quiet, no one else was around, she was on the ab cruncher machine and she lets out THE LOUDEST fart I have ever heard. The kind of fart that sounded painful yet gloriously liberated at the same time.

I had a look of confusion and admiration on my face as she turned around to see if I was watching.

She promptly stood up and walked out of the workout area and as she walked by I could see some of the residue on the back of her pants.

She sharted yet showed no shame, but just simply walked out to the restroom (I hope)
#2
Haha. Man, how did you not laugh hysterically at that?

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#3
*faps*
Quote by bucktheduck

Call me troll, call me psychopath. In the end, I shall stand above you all as you drown in a pool of sex and filth. It will explode your corrupted bodies, and I will walk above the wreckage as a pure man.


Quote by DieGarbageMan

Haggard13 i are impressed
#4
Quote by Vagabond21

She sharted yet showed no shame, but just simply walked out to the restroom (I hope)

Well you got to give her some credit for simply not giving a ****.
#5
Nice. I've never seen the before.
Quote by Adam...?
I generally try to avoid being that guy, but I'm not going to lie to you, it's possible that I shit in a friend's dresser once.

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Coke tastes like a can of smashed assholes, so yes there is a difference.

I am USUALLY the nicest one here.
#9
Oh my good lord! So epic.
Looking to buy a Fender Jagstang, u sellin?
#12
I woulda laughed my ass off
Your dreams are all out of focus;
Knock you up when you're feeling down.
And all the world feels so unreal...


COLORFUL COLORS
Quote by ishmonkey
Hitler was really smart and could have been a good leader but he was kind of a douche to the Jews.
#13
Quote by SuperiorToYou
I call bullshit.
Woman don't shit.


of course
they use up all the energy complaining and being annoying

"where you going? hey listen to me! listen! LISTEN! if i lost an arm would you still love me?"
yeah
daniel tosh knows what i'm talking about
#14
LOLLLLLLLLLLLL.
There is nothing more embarrassing than public farting.
Okay, maybe something, but it is very embarrassing.
I'm surprised you didn't die laughing.
I would've.
O! music: Click (Youtube)


^ Click to see an acoustic arrangement of Ke$ha's 'Your Love is my Drug' - everyone's favourite song.
#16
gahahhahaa.


my friend that works at shop n save was telling me about how a few days ago he was bagging and he started to smell **** real strongly. he was like wtf? then he noticed the woman he was bagging for had **** running down her leg and into her socks and.. ugh. so he proceded to take a break lol. managers came out and everything but he said no one had the courage to walk up and say "hey lady, you **** yourself" at this point us who he was telling were laughing our asses off lol. they didnt do anything. she must not have noticed because she got in her car and everything. she was elderly my friend said but wow how do you notnotice you **** YOURSELF
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In 60 years, there will still be Opeth.
You know why?
Death ain't got **** on Mikael.
#21
Vagabond21, I used to very much dislike you because of the turtle thread, but you make me lol too often to continue. Thank you for brightening my night. lol
#22
Quote by Snowblind 911
LOLLLLLLLLLLLL.
There is nothing more embarrassing than public farting.
Okay, maybe something, but it is very embarrassing.
I'm surprised you didn't die laughing.
I would've.

oh, do tell.
Quote by HelloHalo
I think if I crap my pants in public, I'll just simply stand up (if I'm not already standing), announce "Ladies and gentlemen, I have just defecated in my pants. Good day to you all."

And walk out.


/lame, blatant attempt to get sigged.
#23
Quote by HeavenlyVirus
Vagabond21, I used to very much dislike you because of the turtle thread, but you make me lol too often to continue. Thank you for brightening my night. lol




Hey, everyone is a jerk at times right?

BTW, she was wearing tight pink pants which made the stain show...

Quote by MrDinkleberry
Haha. Man, how did you not laugh hysterically at that?


I was so shocked I couldn't laugh.... or applaud.
Last edited by Vagabond21 at Jul 19, 2008,
#24
I think if I crap my pants in public, I'll just simply stand up (if I'm not already standing), announce "Ladies and gentlemen, I have just defecated in my pants. Good day to you all."

And walk out.


/lame, blatant attempt to get sigged.


that story made me lol. The title alone was genius.
My Last.fm

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HelloHalo, I love you.


WHO SEND ALL THESE BABIES TO FIGHT?
Last edited by HelloHalo at Jul 19, 2008,
#25
LMAO, how old was she? Was it an old lady?

My great grandma crapped all over herself on her way into WAL-MART, yest still got her shopping done.

My family and the staff begged her to just go home but she said, "I drove all the way out here, I'm getting my groceries!"

Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens.

When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace.


-Jimi Hendrix-

Quote by CodySG
You know you're in the drug thread when you see pictures of squash and "tuna nigga!" when you click the page.
#26
she was probably in her late 30's.

guys, to be honest, the whole "sharting with a look of confidence" thing kinda turns me on.
Do I need professional help?
#27
This might actually be the first thread that has made me laugh out loud without having any pictures in it. Congratulations!

e|----------5-------7-5h7p5---5--
B|-------5----8p5-------------8---8p5--
G|-5h6-----------------------------------7b9r--p5---5b--
D|-----------------------------------------------------7-----7-7~~~
#28
That's rich. I hate being the guy who asks if she's hot, but was she hot?
Quote by LPDave
and my mom then told me to masturbate more.

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Big burly men grunting without shirts on pretty much summed up my childhood.

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Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do more look like?
#29
Quote by SuperiorToYou
I call bullshit.
Woman don't shit.

You're obviously new to the internet.
███
██████████
███████████
██████
████████
#30
Quote by shut_up_n00b
That's rich. I hate being the guy who asks if she's hot, but was she hot?


Pre-shart she was not hot

Post-shart.....
#31
Quote by Ex'sAndOh's
You're obviously new to the internet.


Haha it took me a few seconds to get that. Great stuff!!!
#32

Bull****! Women do not poop, thats disgusting!
You are now blinking manually
#34
Quote by xTrueTillDeathx
oh, do tell.


Lolio.
I do not think so.
I need to retain some credibility.

However, I'll insert another fart related story.
I was at some massive hotel place a few years ago, and we were there for some flight centre deal convention trash.
Anywho, so I go to the toilet, and I sort of just mosey on in, as you do, glancing around for pedofiles and murderers, and I get into a cubicle, lock the door, sit down etc.

And then, and there's probably half a dozen people in the bathroom, some asian dude rams the freaking door down (not mine, the main entrance door), ninja kicks a few people just for good measure, and then dashes into the cubicle next to mine.

I hear him desperately fumbling for his belt, fly, boxer shorts...

and then...

BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANG. He tears a hole in the atmosphere. With the most Hrrrrrngghhhiest Hrrrrrnggghhh you've ever heard and the loudest, rasping farts.

Obviously, I burst out into uncontrollable laughter (I'm like 10 at the time, not that it'd make any difference), so I rush to finish before he finds out who I am, and then I run out almost crying.

If he wasn't Asian he probably would've been really embarrassed.
O! music: Click (Youtube)


^ Click to see an acoustic arrangement of Ke$ha's 'Your Love is my Drug' - everyone's favourite song.
#35
Quote by Snowblind 911
Lolio.
I do not think so.
I need to retain some credibility.

However, I'll insert another fart related story.
I was at some massive hotel place a few years ago, and we were there for some flight centre deal convention trash.
Anywho, so I go to the toilet, and I sort of just mosey on in, as you do, glancing around for pedofiles and murderers, and I get into a cubicle, lock the door, sit down etc.

And then, and there's probably half a dozen people in the bathroom, some asian dude rams the freaking door down (not mine, the main entrance door), ninja kicks a few people just for good measure, and then dashes into the cubicle next to mine.

I hear him desperately fumbling for his belt, fly, boxer shorts...

and then...

BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANG. He tears a hole in the atmosphere. With the most Hrrrrrngghhhiest Hrrrrrnggghhh you've ever heard and the loudest, rasping farts.

Obviously, I burst out into uncontrollable laughter (I'm like 10 at the time, not that it'd make any difference), so I rush to finish before he finds out who I am, and then I run out almost crying.

If he wasn't Asian he probably would've been really embarrassed.




I have another.

My friend was taking a dump in the school bathroom when I walked in.

He asks who it is and I say it's me, so we start talking.

Midway into our conversation, the assistant principal walks in. My friend didn't hear him enter, so he's still yapping on. He starts to make Austin Powers jokes. He impersonates Fat Bastard and says:

"Ohh, I've got a turtle head poking out!" and "I've got a turd coming big enough to choke a donkey!....It's squishy!"

All while the assistant principal is in the bathroom taking a piss. My friend comes out of the stall finally and sees the principal. His face went completely white, and he power-walked out of the bathroom without even washing his hands.

I followed him, laughing uncontrollably. The look on the principal's face was priceless.
Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens.

When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace.


-Jimi Hendrix-

Quote by CodySG
You know you're in the drug thread when you see pictures of squash and "tuna nigga!" when you click the page.
#36
Quote by dudetheman


I have another.

My friend was taking a dump in the school bathroom when I walked in.

He asks who it is and I say it's me, so we start talking.

Midway into our conversation, the assistant principal walks in. My friend didn't hear him enter, so he's still yapping on. He starts to make Austin Powers jokes. He impersonates Fat Bastard and says:

"Ohh, I've got a turtle head poking out!" and "I've got a turd coming big enough to choke a donkey!....It's squishy!"

All while the assistant principal is in the bathroom taking a piss. My friend comes out of the stall finally and sees the principal. His face went completely white, and he power-walked out of the bathroom without even washing his hands.

I followed him, laughing uncontrollably. The look on the principal's face was priceless.


haha I love these sort of stories.
O! music: Click (Youtube)


^ Click to see an acoustic arrangement of Ke$ha's 'Your Love is my Drug' - everyone's favourite song.
#37
woow
i am in awe of her
Pull my finger

Quote by Explicit User

"Kyle.. Do you know what homosex is?"
me:"...yes... why?"
"Do you want to have it?"
Me again:"...no Anthony..no i don't"
"Oh.. okay.. good night"

haha

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Dear god the pit is a force to be reckoned with.
#39
Quote by Vagabond21
she was probably in her late 30's.

guys, to be honest, the whole "sharting with a look of confidence" thing kinda turns me on.
Do I need professional help?
yes.


... and it has absolutely nothing to do with the sharting.
Meadows
Quote by Jackal58
I release my inner liberal every morning when I take a shit.
Quote by SK8RDUDE411
I wont be like those jerks who dedicate their beliefs to logic and reaosn.
#40
Quote by HelloHalo
I think if I crap my pants in public, I'll just simply stand up (if I'm not already standing), announce "Ladies and gentlemen, I have just defecated in my pants. Good day to you all."

And walk out.


/lame, blatant attempt to get sigged.


that story made me lol. The title alone was genius.

sigged
Quote by HelloHalo
I think if I crap my pants in public, I'll just simply stand up (if I'm not already standing), announce "Ladies and gentlemen, I have just defecated in my pants. Good day to you all."

And walk out.


/lame, blatant attempt to get sigged.
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