#1
Hey here's something I wrote. Let me know what you think...

Hate Epidemic

Anger, filling every breath you take.
Destruction, controlling every move you make.
Confusion, the swelling in your eyes.
Hunger, your bloodthirst starts to rise.

Come in, step into the practice.
This padded room you'll soon call home.
All of the people you once loved are lifeless.
Won't you see what your hate has become.

Possession, everything you had is lost.
Obsession, see what your obsenities have cost
This madness, has taken all that lived.
Power, this isn't what you wanted.

Come in, step into the practice.
This padded room you'll soon call home.
All of the people you once loved are lifeless.
Won't you see what your hate has become.

Anger, Destruction, Confusion, This hunger.
Possession, Obsession, This madness, The power...

Injected, the hate epidemic.
#2
Quote by Dred606
Hey here's something I wrote. Let me know what you think...

Hate Epidemic

Anger, filling every breath you take.
Destruction, controlling every move you make.
Confusion, the swelling in your eyes.
Hunger, your bloodthirst starts to rise.
(You have some really nice rhymes going here)

Come in, step into the practice.
This padded room you'll soon call home.
All of the people you once loved are lifeless.
Won't you see what your hate has become.

Possession, everything you had is lost.
Obsession, see what your obsenities have cost
(I'm really digging this line)
This madness, has taken all that lived.
Power, this isn't what you wanted.

Come in, step into the practice.
This padded room you'll soon call home.
All of the people you once loved are lifeless.
Won't you see what your hate has become.

Anger, Destruction, Confusion, This hunger.
Possession, Obsession, This madness, The power...
(This last stanza is pretty powerful)

Injected, the hate epidemic.


The first stanza was definitely my favorite. Most people can relate to it as well. I enjoyed your piece as a whole and I couldn't really find anything wrong with it, to be honest.

Crit mine, please? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=15334884#post15334884
It all makes sense
We're capable of beauty
Through sounds that make on cringe
The dogs only hear us now

#4
i liked it on the whole. i'm not sure about the word "injected" in the last line. also i not sure if you meant this but in the line "Obsession, see what your obsenities have cost" you seem to be talking about the price of obsession. but obscenities are things that are obscene. like swear words, and dont relate to obsession. but apart from that it's nice and punchy and i like it.