#1
will rtf... I used this song for the newb compy. You can hear the recorded version at www.myspace.com/shawnmitchell


Leave me with the heartbeat, you once wore on your sleeve,
Take me back to the moments where I listened to you breathe,
Hear your whispers in the distance, saying you're all I need,
Yet these pictures that I carry, let the memories freeze,
Driven by what you gave me, you still stole my heart,
Though we promised each forever,
when does eternity start?
I would walk through Hell,
Yeah, just to tell,
You. I never felt,
This way before.

So watch me as I fall for you just one more time,
Dress me with your love, and I'll make you mine
Fall out, fall out or one more chance is all I ask,
And if that isn't possible, let me stay in the past,
Fall out. Fall out.
Fall out of love with you.
Fall out, Fall out,
Fall out of love with you.

Take my heart into your gentle hands,
Kiss me softly, the way I know you can
It's been far too long since I could stand,
Because you gave me reason to be a man,
Drift away, while I face these demons,
Sleep awake, while I dream of you,
Wrapped in the sheets of your lovely wings,
Adorned with Heaven, you were my queen,

So watch me as I fall for you just one more time,
Dress me with your love, and I'll make you mine
Fall out, fall out or one more chance is all I ask,
And if that isn't possible, let me stay in the past,
Fall out. Fall out of love with you.
Fall out, Fall out,
Fall out of love with you.
#2
Quote by Shawnstoppable

Leave me with the heartbeat, you once wore on your sleeve,
Not quite sure what this means to be honest..
Take me back to the moments where I listened to you breathe,
Hear your whispers in the distance, saying you're all I need,
Yet these pictures that I carry, let the memories freeze,
I don't like the second half to this. It seems like you're just looking for words that fit the rhyming scheme and it just sounds odd to me. It works, though.
Driven by what you gave me, you still stole my heart,
Though we promised each forever,
when does eternity start?
I would walk through Hell,
Yeah, just to tell,
You. I never felt,
This way before.

So watch me as I fall for you just one more time,
Dress me with your love, and I'll make you mine
This part sounds a bit overdone, and "dress me with your love" doesn't make sense to me.
Fall out, fall out or one more chance is all I ask,
And if that isn't possible, let me stay in the past,
Fall out. Fall out.
Fall out of love with you.
Fall out, Fall out,
Fall out of love with you.

Take my heart into your gentle hands,
Kiss me softly, the way I know you can
It's been far too long since I could stand,
Because you gave me reason to be a man,
"Because" doesn't seem like the right word here... If you used more periods and less commas, it might make more sense here but it seems like you're just putting words together here.
Drift away, while I face these demons,
Demons? Really?
Sleep awake, while I dream of you,
I like the wordplay here.
Wrapped in the sheets of your lovely wings,
Adorned with Heaven, you were my queen,

So watch me as I fall for you just one more time,
Dress me with your love, and I'll make you mine
Fall out, fall out or one more chance is all I ask,
And if that isn't possible, let me stay in the past,
Fall out. Fall out of love with you.
Fall out, Fall out,
Fall out of love with you.


A good piece. Very heartfelt. There were a few lines (which I notes) that I didn't like because they seemed very thrown together, forced, or cliche.
ADELOS
POP PUNK
for fans of...

Motion City Soundtrack, Get Up Kids, Jimmy Eat World, Transit, Brand New, Dashboard Confessional, Early November, Fall Out Boy, Jawbreaker, Polar Bear Club, The Story So Far, the Wonder Years, Something Corporate.