#1
this is a song i wrote a while back but the chorus is new...i dont think it is the best chorus so some crits would be very nice...thank you


I always thought our love would last forever.

I guess im not good enough for you,

Not good enough for your friends or your family.


The screaming,

The yelling,

The cussing,

The fighting,

I now know what it feels like to be ALONE.


I lived in your shadow because i love you.

Now I think love is just a word,

Used to break hearts and rip your life apart.


The screaming,

The yelling,

The cussing,

The fighting,

I now know what it feels like to be ALONE.


I hate being hurt and left alone in the light.

Without you by my side,I wonder if you think of me.

I try to understand why things happen like this,

I just got to understand that this is gods plan,

For me to be turned into a man.


The screaming,

The yelling,

The cussing,

The fighting,

I now know what it feels like to be ALONE.


It feels like I am taking baby steps again to try and get what I think I deserve.

But I guess im not good enough for your heart,your feelings,your love,or you.

And even though I told you that you were my heart,

You still ripped my heart apart.


The screaming,

The yelling,

The cussing,

The fighting,

I now know what it feels like to be ALONE.


I though love was supposed to make you feel good,

Love just makes my heart break apart and turn into blood,

Bad blood that runs through my veins and makes me feel pain.


The screaming,

The yelling,

The cussing,

The fighting,

I now know what it feels like to be ALONE.


Your not the same person I fell in love with even though you look like her,

So I stayed with you through everything even the bulls***.

I tried to clear my eyes of the tears but,

Even if I do that I still hear the pain through my ears.


The screaming,

The yelling,

The cussing,

The fighting,

I now know what it feels like to be ALONE.


I used to look up to you like somebody I could trust my heart and life with,

Now it feels like my heart has been thrown in to dirt and s***.

I thought you loved me,

If you truly loved me you would risk your friends and everybody just for me.


The screaming,

The yelling,

The cussing,

The fighting,

I now know what it feels like to be ALONE.


I lost a ton of friends just going back to you,

But I guess it was the right thing to do,

Reason why I did it................................................ ......


Because I f***ing love you.
Guitars:

1998 Squier Affinity Stratocaster

Amps:

Peavey Valve king 112

Money is just paper, but it affects people like poetry.
#2
Seven times we hear that chorus? Sounds too much like a Staind or Nickelback power ballad, to be honest.

EDIT: My suggestion - if this is based on experience (and it helps), think about it a bit more, make it a bit more complex (sounds too close to the pop-metal type I Hate Everything About You in subject) and rewrite it. Make it more concise, too.
Last edited by Suav Nitebeest at Jul 24, 2008,