#1
Alright, I poured my heart in this song. Really describes what I feel every day.

Note: Break the third line of every verse into two different lines to see if it rhymes better, I was thinking about that but I'm not so sure... Thoughts???

Here it goes:

My Sad Confession

Verse 1
I can’t take anymore
My body feels all sore
The need for somebody slowly overcoming me

I really need to bond
To feel a person close to me
To feel that finally someone really cares for me

I can hear the silence so loud
I can almost hear my body bleed
From all these scars and wounds life has coldly given me

I’m awfully hurt inside
My body reflects my mind
I just want to find a place to crawl inside and feel no haste

Bridge
I can hear a melody from beyond
Could it really be what I was dreaming all along?

Chorus
I can’t live like this anymore
I keep striving for something better than this lie
My sorrow has grown more than ever before
And I need someone to share my dreams with

Verse 2
I feel so deserted and cold
This nightmare has lasted for too long
I need to wake up at last and living in this world

I need to find a quiet place
To rest my soul and pass my days
Somewhere I belong, and I can live with its pace

I’m slowly dying tonight
But it goes on every night

I have to keep up with time so that in the end I survive

Life is running too fast
I want to escape my past
And every single mistake to be forgotten for my sake
#2
you should get ****ed up on drugs, then you wouldn't be so depressed

LSD keeps you company better than any person ever could
#3
Quote by ingames
Alright, I poured my heart in this song. Really describes what I feel every day.

Note: Break the third line of every verse into two different lines to see if it rhymes better, I was thinking about that but I'm not so sure... Thoughts???

Here it goes:

My Sad Confession

Verse 1
I can’t take anymore
My body feels all sore
The need for somebody slowly overcoming me

I really need to bond
To feel a person close to me
To feel that finally someone really cares for me

I can hear the silence so loud
I can almost hear my body bleed
From all these scars and wounds life has coldly given me

I’m awfully hurt inside
My body reflects my mind
I just want to find a place to crawl inside and feel no haste

Bridge
I can hear a melody from beyond
Could it really be what I was dreaming all along?

Chorus
I can’t live like this anymore
I keep striving for something better than this lie
My sorrow has grown more than ever before
And I need someone to share my dreams with

Verse 2
I feel so deserted and cold
This nightmare has lasted for too long
I need to wake up at last and living in this world

I need to find a quiet place
To rest my soul and pass my days
Somewhere I belong, and I can live with its pace

I’m slowly dying tonight
But it goes on every night

I have to keep up with time so that in the end I survive

Life is running too fast
I want to escape my past
And every single mistake to be forgotten for my sake



The word choice is kinda anonymous, like most other people on here, nothing says you wrote this, the style seems rather plain. I'd suggest reading and trying to think of better adjectives/metaphors. Please try to avoid rhyming a word with the same word it looks tacky and lazy. Thanks for showing your emotions, but these don't seem like they are your emotions, they seem like they could be anyones. I suggest only writing lines you are completely in love with and labor over every phrase. I didnt mean to tear this apart or be rude, I am a good mannered person and wanted to offer some advice.

C4C. Moon in my signature.