#1
Okay so this is my first song that I am going to put on here. Its short... Really short and needs work but I dont have any of my good songs with me so I cant really put those on here. Well here it is. Its kind of a slow rock song. I will explain its meaning afterwards...

Let Happen What Will by Rodney Of Anom.

Let happen what will,
Let lie who lies,
Let happen what will,
Let it happen again,
Let happen what will.

Youre under the microscope again,
Youre judged by so called friends,
Let happen what will,
Let it happen again,
Let happen what will.

And I say im sorry and that I missed you,
And I know that god forgives you,
Let happen what will,
Let it happen again,
Let happen what will.

So I write this song to you,
In hopes that maybe you too,
Will let happen what will,
Let it happen again,
Let happen what will...

Let happen what will,
Let it happen again,
Let happen what will. (end)

So there. Thats the song I wrote about my exgirlfriend. She and I broke up last year and are still getting used to dating other people. I wrote this song in order to tell her that its okay to let things go with the flow in her relationship and not to worry about how it could hurt/affect me. The part that says "Youre under the microscope again,
Youre judged by so called friends," is about how she worries about how others ( including me ) will judge her if she were to move forward in her relationship. This part "And I say im sorry and that I missed you,
And I know that god forgives you," is about how I wanted her back and that if she does move forward that its okay.
Well I hope that explained it better.
PLEASE CRITICIZE!!!
Rodney Of Anom.
#2
it's pretty good but i feel there could be something a lot better here with a little work.

for starters, do you not think that if your writing a song to tell someone it's ok to move on, especially if you may want them back, it's a bit negative to start with "let lie who lies"? i'm presuming she did something, lied about it, and that was the cause of your break-up. but unless you're trying to make her feel bad i'd rewrite this. also that would give you the chance to revamp first verse, which i feel is the weakest of the lot. every line starts with "let", which i can see is a theme running through the song, but i think it's overused. making the repeated "let happen what will" at the end seem less powerful.

i also think that "let it happen again" is a bit awkward. it's like your saying, "go with the flow, go with the flow again. go with the flow" when i think some thing more like, "go with the flow, do what you want to do to be happy, just go with the flow" would be better... do you get what i'm trying to say? so if you wanted to keep the "let" theme how about.

let happen what will
let your thoughts choose
let happen what will

i know choose is a bit weak but it's just an example, it could be anything really, "let your will decide\define" and so on...

i like all of the story telling lines in the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th verses. nice and descriptive, and it's hard to get a point across in two lines so well done.

so yeah, on the whole pretty good.


The Shape of the World
Last edited by AK. at Jul 25, 2008,
#3
Yeah, I didnt think about that... Thanks. I will start working on this one again. When I get done I will repost it again. Until then heres a slightly modified version.

Let Happen What Will by Rodney Of Anom.

Let happen what will,
Let your heart decide,
Let happen what will,
Try loving again,
Let happen what will.

Youre under the microscope again,
Youre judged by so called friends,
Let happen what will,
Try loving again,
Let happen what will.

And I say im sorry and that I missed you,
And I know that god forgives you,
Let happen what will,
Try loving again,
Let happen what will.

So I write this song to you,
In hopes that maybe you too,
Will let happen what will,
And Try loving again,
Let happen what will...

Let happen what will,
Try loving again,
Let happen what will. (end)

Thank you Ak for your help is this something close to what you were meaning?
If anyone else notices something wrong with my modified version then please tell me.
#4
yeah, that was the general gist of it. i'd say it's greatly improved just for the changing of two lines.