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#1
If you are here to flame me, or just simply say things that are not relevant or not helpful please leave, and sorry for my bad grammer and spelling.


Everything that i say here is personal and since i dont see my psychologist until 20'th the next month i think im going crazy.. I need some assistance or atleast somone to talk to. This forum board is probally my last hope.

Lets start with some backround info:

I have been depressed through ages 7-13 and recently came out of the hellhole i was in, im not going to go into detail but those years have been the worst and there hasnt been a day where i felt happy, i was a robot. I am an only child, i have social phobia so you can say i dont get out much and have some anti-social qualities. For 3 years i have been sleeping over 10 hours at most.

I used to be a frequent bud smoker, but once i have been caught i have been laid off the hook because of my grades/schoolwork/attitude towards others although i had to pay the consequences by helping out the community and serving a small length of time. I have learned my lesson and never going to do any thing affiliated with negative habits.

2 days ago one question that hit me inside the head with my psychologist had to do with my personal life, she asked me all these questions of what i have acomplished.

I stood frozen, i said what i needed to say but that night i think i went crazy.

When i finished watching tv i decided to go to bed since i felt pretty tired, while i was laying down i suddenly realized, "What have i become? Who am I? What am I doing here?

Words cant explain my feelings at this moment, i started panicking and i started imagining all the people who i love/friends etc and then for SOME wierd reason they seemed nothing at all..This is when i started panicking.

I went to the bathroom to wash my face with cold water, i repeadtly kept asking myself "what is wrong with me?!" I could not concetrate on anything and i had no focus at all, my mind was a train wreck.

For some reason everything seems new to me, as if i have never seen before, even my family members. I have no idea what is wrong with me, i have no focus at all, cant concetrate on anything, and everything seems so new as if i havent seen it before and i keep panicking to the point where i think i need to go to the hospital.


It's almost as if i lost my sence of reality.
I cant recnogize anything at all.
I am still experiencing this till this day and ive been feeling as if im on autopilot mode.

Has anybody experienced this before?
#2
not to these extremes.
but I think I have experienced this to a smaller extent.
I don't think there's much you can do but wait it out until you see your psychologist.
Hey Meg.
Proud of you.
#4
So...go?
Quote by Ur all $h1t
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#6
I've hit that spot a few times. No big deal. You're crazy to come with this to the pit though, they're going to eat you alive.

Oh yeah and just to put this out there, I'm losing my shrink in a week which makes me very happy.
#7
Yes, I have been there before.

When we reach a certain realization (or epiphany) in our mind it is almost as if we experience a reality shift. Basically (what I believe is occuring) is that your minds way of intaking information into your brain and adapting it to your perceptions of yourself and the reality around has been altered due to the realization that you have reached. So everything seems "new".

2 things are important right now, friend.

1. Don't panic. In the long run, everything will be ok. You just have to be strong and keep on trucking and you can pull through this and anything that is thrown into your path.

2. This is the moment where you can take your character and shape or mold it into something that would perhaps be more beneficial, as well as something that is more represenetative of the real you. This is important. It will save you much grief. Make yourself into an accurate representation of who you are based on your ideals, beliefs, and behavior.

You will be ok.
#8
Quote by Baa I'm a Sheep
What the fuck do you want us to do about it?
Most people have problems of their own to deal with they don't need yours too.


... I can't believe you.


TS, don't listen to him. But hey, what you're experiencing is psycological and all just in your head. Persuade yourself that it's not happening, and don't doubt yourself. Just try to keep on going with your life . Everyone has moments like that in their lifetime.

Edit- To Seryaph: I couldn't have said it better myself. (well yeah I didn't)


... BUT I TRIED!!!
May the Force be with You.
Carmel is hawt
#9
We're not psycholigists you know. We can't help you unless you consider "icyhots, da pear, rapez, aidz, mudkipz, inb4 frenchy, etc." to be help. Sorry we can't do a whole lot.
#10
Quote by Baa I'm a Sheep
What the fuck do you want us to do about it?
Most people have problems of their own to deal with they don't need yours too.


THIS!
#11
how old are ya mate...


cos raging hormones can make all of this seem soo much worse...


I used to get those feelings all the time - the "I'm on autopilot" but I learnt to deal with it...

Sometimes I had to pinch myself to reassure myself that I wasnt dreaming, and if that's what it takes then deal with it like that...


but I found the biggest thing was getting out into the world and making a name for myself, just do it mate and everything will start to fall into place, and if not, rethink and attack from another angle
<--- This is Wally. Not Waldo.

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#13
Quote by JimmehHunter
you shouldn't have quit the weed


Yes he should.
May the Force be with You.
Carmel is hawt
#14
Quote by Seryaph
Yes, I have been there before.

When we reach a certain realization (or epiphany) in our mind it is almost as if we experience a reality shift. Basically (what I believe is occuring) is that your minds way of intaking information into your brain and adapting it to your perceptions of yourself and the reality around has been altered due to the realization that you have reached. So everything seems "new".

2 things are important right now, friend.

1. Don't panic. In the long run, everything will be ok. You just have to be strong and keep on trucking and you can pull through this and anything that is thrown into your path.

2. This is the moment where you can take your character and shape or mold it into something that would perhaps be more beneficial, as well as something that is more represenetative of the real you. This is important. It will save you much grief. Make yourself into an accurate representation of who you are based on your ideals, beliefs, and behavior.

You will be ok.



Im so happy there is somone out there that has experienced this before..That day when my mind shifted i started having all these thoughts in my head, suicidical,homocidical and things i could never imagine i would think of, i almost had of what was to be a panic attack i had no idea what was going on, im going to try my best to hold on. I coudnt even sleep when i was tired as hell because my heart was pumping the fastest that i ever imagined.


Quote by vulgarmachine
how old are ya mate...


cos raging hormones can make all of this seem soo much worse...


I used to get those feelings all the time - the "I'm on autopilot" but I learnt to deal with it...

Sometimes I had to pinch myself to reassure myself that I wasnt dreaming, and if that's what it takes then deal with it like that...


but I found the biggest thing was getting out into the world and making a name for myself, just do it mate and everything will start to fall into place, and if not, rethink and attack from another angle



I am 16, the autopilot mode feeling scares me to death, it makes me feel as if im not awake, almost as if somone else is controlling me. It makes me panic so much, especially the combination of not knowing you'r place, your friends or family, and not being able to concetrate on anything.
Last edited by Insicion at Jul 25, 2008,
#16
Quote by Insicion
Im so happy there is somone out there that has experienced this before..That day when my mind shifted i started having all these thoughts in my head, suicidical,homocidical and things i could never imagine i would think of, i almost had of what was to be a panic attack i had no idea what was going on, im going to try my best to hold on. I coudnt even sleep when i was tired as hell because my heart was pumping the fastest that i ever imagined.


How old are you? 'Cause age and hormones can have something to do with it as well. Because the body is changing, and so's the way your mind works.
May the Force be with You.
Carmel is hawt
#17
judging by these symptoms,
you're probably a homosexual
Ted: [Whispering to Bill] Your stepmom is cute.
Bill: Shut up, Ted.
Ted: Remember when she was a senior and we were freshmen?
Bill: Shut up, Ted!
#19
Quote by Seryaph
Yes, I have been there before.

When we reach a certain realization (or epiphany) in our mind it is almost as if we experience a reality shift. Basically (what I believe is occuring) is that your minds way of intaking information into your brain and adapting it to your perceptions of yourself and the reality around has been altered due to the realization that you have reached. So everything seems "new".

2 things are important right now, friend.

1. Don't panic. In the long run, everything will be ok. You just have to be strong and keep on trucking and you can pull through this and anything that is thrown into your path.

2. This is the moment where you can take your character and shape or mold it into something that would perhaps be more beneficial, as well as something that is more represenetative of the real you. This is important. It will save you much grief. Make yourself into an accurate representation of who you are based on your ideals, beliefs, and behavior.

You will be ok.


This is the most sensitive thing ive ever read in the pit.

take this dudes advice btw. Its what I did, i might not feel perfect but i feel a hell of lot better knowing that im in control.
---------------------------
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#20
Quote by Insicion
Im so happy there is somone out there that has experienced this before..That day when my mind shifted i started having all these thoughts in my head, suicidical,homocidical and things i could never imagine i would think of, i almost had of what was to be a panic attack i had no idea what was going on, im going to try my best to hold on. I coudnt even sleep when i was tired as hell because my heart was pumping the fastest that i ever imagined.



trust me... ur not alone... this happened a lot in my gcse (exams) year at school.

it's horrible... but once you pull through the other side, you are stronger than your peers who this didn't happen to.

I mean mentally stronger, unless of course you worked out or w/e I'll shut up hehe

edit:
Quote by Crimson Ghost
judging by these symptoms,
you're probably a homosexual


you should go away, as this kinda thing isn't realli helpful at all, and is just immature and annoying.
<--- This is Wally. Not Waldo.

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Fender MIA Strat (in black, HSS)
Godawful Marshall MG practice amp

My Youtube
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#21
Quote by PullTigerTail
not to these extremes.
but I think I have experienced this to a smaller extent.

Same. I always found reading something really deep and profound sorted my head out. It's almost like a psychological reset for me. Gives you something deep to think about instead.

But I can't think of any specific texts to recommened.


And don't listen to the unhelpful sacks in here...
Now 100% humour free, in accordance with the rules.

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#22
Quote by Crimson Ghost
judging by these symptoms,
you're probably a homosexual


I hope you die. This isnt a normal pit thread.
---------------------------
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#23
Well... I just got a ****ty haircut, it's pretty bad...



Good Luck man. I've had some times sort of like this but nearly as bad. Nothing I can really say but just keep on going.
Quote by 20cdndollars
You are god, floppypick



Floppydick


If that's how you read my name, leave a message saying so on my profile
#24
I think you should wake up and realise that you're not in a bad position in life. I mean, how can a kid your age actually say I'm depressed my life's not worth living anymore? Let me tell you something, your life's just started. You're still in the honeymoon years so you'd do better than to suck it up, lift your head up and fucking make something of yourself instead of sitting in your bedroom feeling sorry for yourself.
#25
Quote by stueey
I hope you die. This isnt a normal pit thread.


i hope you die for liking mcr
Ted: [Whispering to Bill] Your stepmom is cute.
Bill: Shut up, Ted.
Ted: Remember when she was a senior and we were freshmen?
Bill: Shut up, Ted!
#26
Quote by Insicion
Im so happy there is somone out there that has experienced this before..That day when my mind shifted i started having all these thoughts in my head, suicidical,homocidical and things i could never imagine i would think of, i almost had of what was to be a panic attack i had no idea what was going on, im going to try my best to hold on. I coudnt even sleep when i was tired as hell because my heart was pumping the fastest that i ever imagined.


I am 16, the autopilot mode feeling scares me to death, it makes me feel as if im not awake, almost as if somone else is controlling me. It makes me panic so much, especially the combination of not knowing you'r place, your friends or family, and not being able to concetrate on anything.


Are you taking any exams? Or awaiting any results? Or just under stress in any way?
May the Force be with You.
Carmel is hawt
#27
You're a teenage drama queen. Write a book about it go back to your psycholigist and shove it in her face yelling "na na na na booboo, I wrote a book about how I went to UG for advice and they only caused me to think about suicide while you sit here and write down people's problems all day. WHO'S PRODUCTIVE NOW BITCH!?!?!?"

That should help, I know I'm an asshole get over it.
#28
Quote by Crimson Ghost
i hope you die for liking mcr


i hope you die for having a ****ty hair cut and using a line 6 amp.

bloody queer.
---------------------------
Main gear
Prs Custom 22
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PedalTrain 2 (soft case)
#29
Quote by Dæmönika
I think you should wake up and realise that you're not in a bad position in life. I mean, how can a kid your age actually say I'm depressed my life's not worth living anymore? Let me tell you something, your life's just started. You're still in the honeymoon years so you'd do better than to suck it up, lift your head up and fucking make something of yourself instead of sitting in your bedroom feeling sorry for yourself.


Yeah, there are kids in africa, no food no water, not even a clean home.

People who get tortured and raped, shot at and beaten. As ****ty as it may seem, it could be way worse.
Quote by 20cdndollars
You are god, floppypick



Floppydick


If that's how you read my name, leave a message saying so on my profile
#30
Quote by jsbud11
You're a teenage drama queen. Write a book about it go back to your psycholigist and shove it in her face yelling "na na na na booboo, I wrote a book about how I went to UG for advice and they only caused me to think about suicide while you sit here and write down people's problems all day. WHO'S PRODUCTIVE NOW BITCH!?!?!?"

That should help, I know I'm an asshole get over it.


If you know you're an asshole why bother coming into serious threads and bring people down you fucking ****?
May the Force be with You.
Carmel is hawt
#31
Quote by stueey
i hope you die for having a ****ty hair cut and using a line 6 amp.

bloody queer.


at least billy joe armstrong isnt one of my favorite guitarists...
Ted: [Whispering to Bill] Your stepmom is cute.
Bill: Shut up, Ted.
Ted: Remember when she was a senior and we were freshmen?
Bill: Shut up, Ted!
#32


it's horrible... but once you pull through the other side, you are stronger than your peers who this didn't happen to.

I mean mentally stronger, unless of course you worked out or w/e I'll shut up hehe
QUOTE]

Actually, working out would be a great idea, TS. At one point I was really suicidal, and you know what I did? I played Dance Dance Revolution non-stop for like a month. At one point I got really dizzy and would see arrows flying at me whenever I closed my eyes I know it sounds silly but it worked; not only does it get your endorphins (happy fun brain chemicals) pumping, it distracts you from the ****tiness of life.
#33
Quote by stueey
i hope you die for having a ****ty hair cut and using a line 6 amp.

bloody queer.

I hope you get the **** out for not recognizing a joke when it's shoved up your ass so far it comes out of your ****ing mouth!

bloody queer
#34
Quote by jsbud11
I hope you get the **** out for not recognizing a joke when it's shoved up your ass so far it comes out of your ****ing mouth!

bloody queer


I'm seriously considerin reporting you.
May the Force be with You.
Carmel is hawt
#35
Quote by jsbud11
I hope you get the **** out for not recognizing a joke when it's shoved up your ass so far it comes out of your ****ing mouth!

bloody queer



Quote by Crimson Ghost
at least billy joe armstrong isnt one of my favorite guitarists...



You two. Get the fuck off my internets. *Reported*

Bloody queers.
#36
Quote by Crimson Ghost
at least billy joe armstrong isnt one of my favorite guitarists...


hes made money, earned a living, has a wife and kids, and is in one the current biggest names.

whats not to love? and he does play anymore than 3 chords.

also he doesnt have a mophead like urs
---------------------------
Main gear
Prs Custom 22
Gibson LP Junior
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Marshall 1936 2x12
Trex OD, MXR Super Comp
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PedalTrain 2 (soft case)
#37
okay... i've had a good look and ask...


endocrinologists ftw hehe


and the symptoms ur describing, basically shows that ur body is dealing with stress very well.

The feeling of dreaminess or autopilot is your cortisoloid levels in ur blood. This feeling indicates a raised level of cortisol in ur blood, which can trigger adrenaline releases from the pituitary, making you feel panicky.

The best thing to do is to just totally switch off for a day, by that I mean, don't stress yourself at all, don't think - just vegetate in front of the telly or w/e, but try not to stimulate urself as this will lead to the said hormone being released and the feeling will return.

And if you start feeling panicky, just remind urself that u r in control of your life, no matter what may be happening, you are in control.
<--- This is Wally. Not Waldo.

Gear List:
Ibanez RG570
Fender MIA Strat (in black, HSS)
Godawful Marshall MG practice amp

My Youtube
My godawful blog
#38
I think you've got a serious case of depression seeing as it seems you have actually been diagnosed with it - at least you're seeing someone for it: for that you have done the right thing. I have to commend you on giving up the negative habit of bud smoking - it's not something you see everyday. I don't think you've got anything to be completely ashamed about yourself because you're trying to get your life sorted back together again. Well done - that's extremely difficult to do but unfortunately you've got a long way to go, yet. You will only ever get yourself fixed if you're committed. I'm sure you know that already but I'm not trying to down your hopes: I'm trying to remind you what's at stake if you end up back to your old ways. You'll have no active future and with that, no friends, no family and no decent living. You've got to dig yourself out of the hole you created and don't quit.

I strongly recommend you sort out your education first, if you haven't already. In life, a decent education goes a long way and you'll almost never get a high-earning job without a decent degree. It's time to start fresh. A new degree with enable opportunities for the future and subsequently the feeling of satisfaction that you have achieved something. The key to happiness is the feeling that you have achieved. You speak of never acomplishing anything in your life but you're quite wrong. You're thinking straight again about how you can better your life and I can tell you that a lot of people in your situation have failed. Go one step further - do something realistic! Find yourself a good degree now. A university place almost always invites fresh new lifetime friends, a relationship, newfound positive hobbies and more. At the end of the day, you want to be successful and one way of doing that is being good at what you do and what you love. Pick out a career you want to do and strive to the be the best at it. Don't see it as something of a burden - see it as a challenge. A good degree will give you the satisfaction of achieving something and being good at what you do will get you a great job that you will love. Getting a great job that you love with a good degree will certainly pay well so that you can plan your future - a large house, a great car, satisfaction (don't you know that's how you become more attractive to the opposite sex). You can have all of that with your friends that you'll pick up along the way.

I can't make you realise that until you decide that you're committed. Feel optimistic about yourself and your chances at all times. Don't take anything for granted. Be nice to everyone, keep your nose clean, strive to be the best. Don't worry about the wrongs in your life currently - there's are other more important things at stake and you could lose it if you don't shape up and start working. As Jessica Harp once said, don't mind what's wrong - just set it right.
No one said that life was supposed to be easy but if you think you've got it bad now, how will you ever survive in the real world? Feel grateful that you have the chance to do something about it. Some kinds were doomed from day 1 not to have the luxuries that we have - and I'm not talking about the internet, I'm talking about the basics of life like clean drinking water and a home. You're lucky to be given this life so don't take advantage of it. You owe it to yourself.
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Last edited by Harmonius at Jul 25, 2008,
#39
I dont know what to say cause i dont really know about your background and what has happened to you in the past and i'm not digging unless you want to but maybe face these past problems. Cliché for me of having **** with a ex starting eating me away but i faced it head on a confronted the problem. Your past problems are more than likly worse than my example but maybe its the same cure, different by scale. So maybe confronting the past is the feeling im getting from. "When i finished watching tv i decided to go to bed since i felt pretty tired, while i was laying down i suddenly realized, "What have i become? Who am I? What am I doing here?
They seem to be unanswered questions from the past. Im no psychologist but thats the impression i get.
HAVE A NICE DAY!
#40
Quote by stueey
hes made money, earned a living, has a wife and kids, and is in one the current biggest names.

whats not to love? and he does play anymore than 3 chords.

also he doesnt have a mophead like urs



actually, my hair is pretty short
and having a "current big name" doesnt make you talented or favorite guitarist material at all ...
Ted: [Whispering to Bill] Your stepmom is cute.
Bill: Shut up, Ted.
Ted: Remember when she was a senior and we were freshmen?
Bill: Shut up, Ted!
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