#1
Fold in the wind like paper too wet
She flops and she falls to the floor.
Pulp fiction, read then forget.

Was it worth all the blood and the sweat
Just to see crumpled drafts galore?
Fold in the wind like paper too wet.

A blonde in a word was brunette,
Once was a red head before.
Pulp fiction, read then forget.

The archetype; sad eyes with regret;
But exposition remained unexplored.
Fold in the wind like paper too wet.

From diskette to the scene, and the set,
Together like sea to the shore.
Pulp Fiction, read then forget.

Lived life like a stock vignette,
Another from the pile in the drawer.
Fold in the wind like paper too wet,
Pulp fiction, read then forget.
#3
Quote by Jammydude44
Fold in the wind like paper too wet
I love the idea but I'm not overly courteous feeling towards the way it was layed out. It feels disgruntled. Maybe that constitutes the image of the crumpled paper.
She flops and she falls to the floor.
This reads very elegantly, especially out loud. Thats something to note, your work is often best read out loud and pursed over a few times, not just the quick glance in your minds mouth.
Pulp fiction, read then forget.
It took me a while to become accustomed to the term "read" here. At first I thought, that doesn't work - my mind kept trying to read it in a certain tense - but now I've grown quite a liking to it.

Was it worth all the blood and the sweat
Just to see crumpled drafts galore?
I don't like the word "galore" here.
Fold in the wind like paper too wet.

A blonde in a word was brunette,
Once was a red head before.
Pulp fiction, read then forget.
Excellent stuff here.

The archetype; sad eyes with regret;
But exposition remained unexplored.
This has a drastic change of feel for me here that doesn't entirely suit; but its not bad.
Fold in the wind like paper too wet.
The repitition has become a little tiresome by now, just a little.

From diskette to the scene, and the set,
Together like sea to the shore.
Pulp Fiction, read then forget.
A tad cubersome but detailed and very cool to read.

Lived life like a stock vignette,
Another from the pile in the drawer.
Fold in the wind like paper too wet,
Pulp fiction, read then forget.


There's not much that I can personally say about this. The very odd rythyme was difficult to reach into but I found my way there eventually. One, or maybe two, of your verse's are nothing special and they don't really say a whole lot more than your other more affluent ones do. But thats not to say they shouldn't be there.
I'm just being as picky as I can possibly be and this is what I can derive from myself in that regard.

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